Shitty Asses Part II: Wiping Her Clean

Tomorrow's Blog entry... I've saved it as a draft for publishing in the morning.
-----------------------------


Dear Constant Reader,

There comes a time in the life of a porn blogger when one must bring you back down to earth on the joys (and pains) of photographing naked women. One of those times was back in March, when I briefly mentioned models with shitty asses. There is more to that story, of course. And today is your day to read all about it.

Not long after the events in that post occurred I found myself in my Explorer driving out to Salmon Hole to photograph a different model. Along the way I told her about the model who'd had shit on her ass. We had a good laugh about it.

We arrived at our destination and hiked down to the spot beside the river/creek where I wanted to start our day's shoot. I unpacked my camera gear while the model changed into her first outfit. I seriously don't peek at the girls when they're changing, even when doing so right in front of my face as this girl was doing. Had I done so I might have noticed a problem. But I just concentrated on getting my camera ready, giving the lens a final wipedown.

Once the model was ready I began shooting her. I had her strip down, as usual, while shooting away. I had her sit down on a rock for some frontal spread shots. Then I had her turn around on that same rock so I could have her spread her legs for some "doggy style" shots, ever so popular with my members (and myself - but that's another story). I was zooming in for a close pink taco shot when what-to-my-wondering-eyes-should-appear... shit! Smeared all over her right ass cheek! No, this is not a joke. I'm DEAD SERIOUS.

Now I'm facing a dilemna. The two of us had been having a good laugh on our drive about the other shitty-assed model I'd photographed. Now here she was in the same, err... position. Do I tell her about it and let her clean herself, thereby insuring that the rest of the shoot will be less shitty but more tense? I mean, she's going to have a complex about it after hearing some of the things I said about the other model's personal hygiene. But I can't just keep shooting photographs of poop on her ass. What to do? What to fucking DO?

I told her to hold the position for a moment. I quickly walked to my camera bag and took out a lens cleaning pad, took the pad to the nearby river/creek and soaked it. Then I walked up to her, she's still doggystyle, and told her, "You have some dirt on your ass from sitting on that rock... let me wipe it off real quick". And that's exactly what I did.

Then I quickly through the shitty pad into the water and watched it float away. The shoot went on and she never had a clue.

I'm telling you... it's not all fun and games. And once again I have to plug the benefits of using flushable baby wipes instead of regular toilet paper. Just fucking DO IT!