Shocking Tom Cruise and Lensman rumours.....

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  • JFK
    FUBAR the ORIGINATOR
    • Jan 2002
    • 67369

    #1

    Shocking Tom Cruise and Lensman rumours.....

    Independent Sources

    Bureaucrats?Independent Sources Confirms Existence of Tom Cruise/Lensman lieason. Independent Sources announced today that it has uncovered a new,previously undiscovered Tom Cruise rumor:
    Tom Cruise and GFY's Lensman are lovers!

    Independent Sources has hesitated writing about Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes for many reasons. First, there are other things going on in the world that, believe it or not, rank higher on the importance scale. Second, pretty much everything that can be said is being said.

    However, someone (I'll call her Mistress of the Hollywood Rumor) just
    walked into Insider's office with the following dish that I feel compelled to pass on. I did a quick check of ********** and it wasn't there. So even if it is not true, it is at least original.

    No doubt that anyone with an Internet connection has read about Tom Cruise being gay. According to rumor lore, he has had a long-time boyfriend in Chicago who is an Asian pilot for American Airlines. This is an accusation that Cruise and more importantly Cruise's many attorneys vehemently deny.

    There have been many stories that supposedly corroborate his sexuality but never a smoking gun. Rumor mongers attribute this to the fact that Cruise goes to great lengths to cover his tracks. We are told that everyone around him signs extensive confidentiality contracts with enormous penalties for indiscretion. (Exhibit A: the 8-page confidentiality contract Cruise's housekeeper was forced to sign).

    Such stories have been around for years and Cruise has evidently attempted to counter them with a series of high-profile heteronormative relationships.

    First, Nicole Kidman, then Penelope Cruz, and most recently Katie Holmes. In each instance, the "relationship" is actually a contract that gives the women a boost to their careers, a lot of money, and an elegant lifestyle.

    Here is where this particular rumor gets interesting. Not long ago,
    Eric aka Red Eyes (who has had to contend with his own rumors of bi-sexuality) found his boss in bed with Tom Cruise causing Cruise's people to shift into high gear.

    First, Eric aka Red Eyes was bought off for an undetermined sum. Second, Cruise and his handlers set out to immediately find Cruise a girlfriend. Second-tier actresses were targeted. A list was drawn up with Jessica Alba (#1 pick) and three other girls who fell out for various reasons. Originally targeted (#3 I think) but later rejected as "undesirable" was rumor queen Lindsay Lohan. Way down at #5 on the list was Katie Holmes, but that was the one with whom they were able to strike a deal.

    Once the contact was signed, photo ops were set up, leaks were made to the right places, and we've had celebrity relationship on steroids ever since.

    One thing I will credit this rumor for is how it nicely explains Tom's behavior this past few months-including the couch jumping episode on Oprah. Cruise simply didn't have time for the Holmes rumors to circulate at its normal speed and he couldn't allow it to be second page news while the tabloids focused on Brad, Jennifer and Angelina. No, this relationship had to immediately become the "it" topic.

    Well, that's how we hear it.



    with apologies to videoxpix

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  • Manowar
    jellyfish  
    • Dec 2003
    • 71528

    #2

    Comment

    • candyflip
      Carpe Visio
      • Jul 2002
      • 43073

      #3
      This thread is useless without pics.

      There's got a be one or two out there.

      Spend you some brain.
      Email Me

      Comment

      • flirty
        Confirmed User
        • Feb 2005
        • 2840

        #4
        video would be better

        Comment

        • Juicy D. Links
          So Fucking Banned
          • Apr 2001
          • 122992

          #5

          Comment

          • JFK
            FUBAR the ORIGINATOR
            • Jan 2002
            • 67369

            #6
            It is said that Mr Juicy D. Links is devestated by the news. After this public Display in San Diego

            He thought Lens was here to stay. Calls To Mr Juicy D. Links office were not returned, he is said to be under heavy sedation

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            • Juicy D. Links
              So Fucking Banned
              • Apr 2001
              • 122992

              #7
              Originally posted by JFK
              It is said that Mr Juicy D. Links is devestated by the news. After this public Display in San Diego

              He thought Lens was here to stay. Calls To Mr Juicy D. Links office were not returned, he is said to be under heavy sedation

              Comment

              • JFK
                FUBAR the ORIGINATOR
                • Jan 2002
                • 67369

                #8
                Originally posted by Juicy D. Links
                that does not seem like devestation to me ...........maybee its delirium ?? Could he have gone mad with grief ??

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                • sweetME
                  Confirmed User
                  • Nov 2004
                  • 3162

                  #9
                  Originally posted by JFK
                  It is said that Mr Juicy D. Links is devestated by the news. After this public Display in San Diego

                  He thought Lens was here to stay. Calls To Mr Juicy D. Links office were not returned, he is said to be under heavy sedation


                  Email: questions @ Prodinix.com | Site: Prodinix.com

                  Comment

                  • JFK
                    FUBAR the ORIGINATOR
                    • Jan 2002
                    • 67369

                    #10
                    Originally posted by sweetME
                    Lens is not laughing

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                    • tony299
                      lurker
                      • Aug 2002
                      • 57021

                      #11
                      Whats Tom worth 100 mil Lensman would gladly be Mrs Cruise lol

                      Comment

                      • sniperwolf
                        Too lazy to set a custom title
                        • Mar 2005
                        • 17743

                        #12
                        wtf...hahahahahahaha
                        ~Accepting design works~

                        Comment

                        • Spunky
                          I need a beer
                          • Jun 2002
                          • 133978

                          #13
                          Originally posted by tony404
                          Whats Tom worth 100 mil Lensman would gladly be Mrs Cruise lol
                          I'm sure Lens isn't hurting

                          Comment

                          • tony299
                            lurker
                            • Aug 2002
                            • 57021

                            #14
                            Originally posted by spunky
                            I'm sure Lens isn't hurting
                            I m sure lens does well but not Tom cruise well lol

                            Comment

                            • JFK
                              FUBAR the ORIGINATOR
                              • Jan 2002
                              • 67369

                              #15
                              Originally posted by spunky
                              I'm sure Lens isn't hurting
                              I dont know about that, heard the KY was running low

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                              • Juilan
                                Sultan of Swing
                                • Feb 2004
                                • 15141

                                #16
                                Originally posted by candyflip
                                This thread is useless without pics.

                                There's got a be one or two out there.
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