hello A1R3K Newbreed kernelpanic Manowar. Dont give up on me now!

I have trouble sleeping

Allllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOD BLESS THE EMU-SA


so, heres the story right.

we go to the wild animal park right?

so juicy thinks its like a cocktail party right?

he's got on his blazer, hair all in place, and the shirt collar is just all travolta'd on the outside of his jacket right?

ok, so here we are, standing at the gate of the wild animal park with like 5 securitys looking like ranger rick. it was fucking insane. they never saw any shit like this ever.

for the first time ever at a zoo, i heard the word "dress code".

apparantly the securities at the fuckin wild animal park confused ole juice dog as a poacher that had fled the country about 5 months back.

i'm like "what the fuck, you ever smell a poacher?" they were trippin. juicy did kinda look like him, but it was obvious that he wasn't.

ok right? so here we go into the animal park after they let us go. jesus, it musta been an hour long. we almost had to sedate the rangers to get them to freakin chill.

we find the emu area. well, juicy doesn't know that emus are mean fuckers and shit, so he gets out of the truck and tries to walk over by the nest to see what the babies look like right?

WTF? man, this momma emu ran like fuck from the little stream she was drinkin from and charged after him. well, we all know that J has short legs right? ok, so what ended up happening was he ended up with a few small lacerations on his ass before he got back in the jeep.

these jeeps are like some jurrassic park shit right? so, we get J back inside the jeep right and this fucking emu is bangin on the protective fence to get at him.

Juicy didn't know wtf was up, shit woke him up like it was time to catch a plane right? meanwhile, i am like american indian drunk and in the passenger seat. I go "Juicy, hit that mofo with the "Curve" cologne, and that bitch will run, right?

So, long story long, Juicy sprays the momma emu with Curve and it was like it got some heroine mainlined. the poor thing dropped like dj airek at the xxxcash bash in phoenix.

it was sad, but the emu deserved it. all juicy was trying to do was teach the babies how to make their eyes blink different colors and how to smoke cigarettes. completely harmless.

it was a sad unfortunate event.

RIP

I was getting some donut holes, sorry.

Im going to be reading this 3 weeks from now and still be shocked.

a sad sad day in san diego

Emu Emu Emu Emu Emu MUSHROOM MUSHROOM

finally someone on the same page as me.

Im surprised Joan Embry didnt come out and kick you butts.

OMFG Emu Killer!!!!!!!! Too goddamned funny!