Why the Iraqi chicken crossed to road...
Why the Iraqi chicken crossed to road...
Coalition Provisional Authority (CPA):
The fact that the Iraqi chicken crossed the road affirmatively demonstrates
that decision-making authority has been transferred to the chicken well in
advance of the scheduled June 30th transition of power. From now on, the chicken is responsible for its own decisions.
Halliburton Corporation:
We were asked to help the chicken cross the road. Given the inherent risk of
road crossing and the rarity of chickens, this operation will only cost the
US government $326,004.
Muqtada al-Sadr:
The chicken was a tool of the evil Coalition and will be killed.
US Army Military Police:
We were directed to prepare the chicken to cross the road. As part of these
preparations, individual soldiers ran over the chicken repeatedly and then
plucked the chicken. We deeply regret the occurrence of any chicken rights
violations.
1st Cav:
The chicken was not authorized to cross the road without displaying two
forms of picture identification. Thus, the chicken was appropriately
detained and searched in accordance with current SOP's.
We apologize for any embarrassment to the chicken. As a result of this unfortunate incident, the command has instituted a gender sensitivity training program and all future chicken searches will be conducted by female soldiers.
Al Jazeera:
The chicken was forced to cross the road multiple times at gunpoint by a
large group of occupation soldiers, according to eye-witnesses. The chicken
was then fired upon intentionally, in yet another example of the abuse of
innocent Iraqi chickens.
Blackwater Contracting Corporation:
We cannot confirm any involvement in the chicken-road-crossing incident.
Translators:
Chicken he cross street because bad she tangle regulation. Future chicken
table against my request.
U.S. Marine Corps:
The chicken is dead.
Coalition Provisional Authority (CPA):
The fact that the Iraqi chicken crossed the road affirmatively demonstrates
that decision-making authority has been transferred to the chicken well in
advance of the scheduled June 30th transition of power. From now on, the chicken is responsible for its own decisions.
Halliburton Corporation:
We were asked to help the chicken cross the road. Given the inherent risk of
road crossing and the rarity of chickens, this operation will only cost the
US government $326,004.
Muqtada al-Sadr:
The chicken was a tool of the evil Coalition and will be killed.
US Army Military Police:
We were directed to prepare the chicken to cross the road. As part of these
preparations, individual soldiers ran over the chicken repeatedly and then
plucked the chicken. We deeply regret the occurrence of any chicken rights
violations.
1st Cav:
The chicken was not authorized to cross the road without displaying two
forms of picture identification. Thus, the chicken was appropriately
detained and searched in accordance with current SOP's.
We apologize for any embarrassment to the chicken. As a result of this unfortunate incident, the command has instituted a gender sensitivity training program and all future chicken searches will be conducted by female soldiers.
Al Jazeera:
The chicken was forced to cross the road multiple times at gunpoint by a
large group of occupation soldiers, according to eye-witnesses. The chicken
was then fired upon intentionally, in yet another example of the abuse of
innocent Iraqi chickens.
Blackwater Contracting Corporation:
We cannot confirm any involvement in the chicken-road-crossing incident.
Translators:
Chicken he cross street because bad she tangle regulation. Future chicken
table against my request.
U.S. Marine Corps:
The chicken is dead.
Comment