Joke of the day:

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  • DVTimes
    xxx
    • Jun 2003
    • 31650

    #1

    Joke of the day:

    Joke of the day: A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?" The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it." "You're wasting your time," said the boy. "Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled. "Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."
    XXX
  • sonofsam
    Too lazy to set a custom title
    • Dec 2004
    • 18648

    #2
    lol, thanks for the early mornin' laugh
    I like turtles.

    Comment

    • Manowar
      jellyfish  
      • Dec 2003
      • 71528

      #3

      Comment

      • wildgirl
        My Sig was too Big! :(
        • May 2005
        • 2554

        #4
        lol
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        • adonthenet
          Too lazy to set a custom title
          • Feb 2005
          • 16753

          #5
          thanks ! haha good one

          Comment

          • Pete-KT
            Workin With The Devil
            • Oct 2004
            • 51532

            #6
            Oldie but funny everytime i read it

            Comment

            • GMX
              Registered User
              • Apr 2003
              • 54

              #7
              good one,

              Comment

              • gecko
                ******
                • Jun 2002
                • 21846

                #8
                heh good one
                [email protected]

                Comment

                • Miss Vlasta
                  Confirmed User
                  • Mar 2005
                  • 1005

                  #9


                  Have one as well:

                  Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.
                  "I froze to death," says the second.
                  "That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to death?"
                  "It's very uncomfortable at first", says the second man. "You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?"
                  "I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there, either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died." The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he says.
                  "What do you mean?" asks the first man.
                  "If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive."


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                  • Terry
                    Confirmed User
                    • Jan 2002
                    • 1604

                    #10
                    2 laughs for the price of one.. thanks!
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                    Comment

                    • FilthyRob
                      Confirmed User
                      • Feb 2004
                      • 6741

                      #11
                      heard it, but still a good laugh
                      AKA - Clubsexy

                      Comment

                      • chadglni
                        Confirmed User
                        • Dec 2002
                        • 6924

                        #12


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                        • Vitasoy
                          GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!!
                          • Oct 2003
                          • 58202

                          #13
                          heh that one is not bad at all


                          [email protected]

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                          • Dalai lama
                            Strength and Honor
                            • Jul 2004
                            • 16540

                            #14
                            Not bad

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                            • Mefo
                              Confirmed User
                              • Jun 2002
                              • 6169

                              #15
                              lol classic joke

                              Comment

                              • sevent1
                                Registered User
                                • May 2005
                                • 80

                                #16
                                lol cool
                                X

                                Comment

                                • axelcat
                                  Adult Locals
                                  • Jun 2002
                                  • 25450

                                  #17

                                  Comment

                                  • xXxtreme2005
                                    Confirmed User
                                    • Feb 2005
                                    • 717

                                    #18
                                    good laugh


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                                    • jimmyf
                                      OU812
                                      • Feb 2001
                                      • 12651

                                      #19
                                      Two ninety year old men, Moe and Sam, have been friends all their lives. It
                                      seems that Sam is dying of cancer, and Moe comes to visit him every day.

                                      "Sam," says Moe, "You know how we have both loved baseball all our lives,
                                      and how we played minor league ball together for so many years.

                                      Sam, you have to do me one favor. When you get to Heaven, and I know you
                                      will go to Heaven, somehow you've got to let me know if there's baseball in
                                      Heaven."

                                      Sam looks up at Moe from his death bed, and says, "Moe, you've been my
                                      best friend many years. This favor, if it is at all possible, I'll do for
                                      you."

                                      And shortly after that, Sam passes on.

                                      It is midnight a couple of nights later. Moe is sound asleep when he is
                                      awakened by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calls out to him,
                                      "Moe..... Moe...."

                                      "Who is it?" says Moe sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"

                                      "Moe, it's me, Sam."

                                      "Come on. You're not Sam. Sam just died."

                                      "I'm telling you," insists the voice. "It's me, Sam!"

                                      "Sam? Is that you? Where are you?"

                                      "I'm in heaven," says Sam, "and I've got to tell you, I've got really good
                                      news and a little bad news."

                                      "So, tell me the good news first," says Moe.

                                      "The good news," says Sam "is that there is baseball in heaven. Better
                                      yet, all our old buddies who've gone before us are there. Better yet, we're
                                      all young men again. Better yet, it's always spring time and it never rains
                                      or snows. And best of all, we can play baseball all we want, and we never
                                      get tired!"

                                      "Really?" says Moe, "That is fantastic, wonderful beyond my wildest
                                      dreams! But, what's the bad news?"

                                      "You're pitching next Tuesday"
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                                      • LittleSassy
                                        Confirmed User
                                        • May 2005
                                        • 7402

                                        #20
                                        thanks for the laugh!...

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                                        • sickkittens
                                          I am a meat popsicle.
                                          • Jul 2002
                                          • 25100

                                          #21
                                          That was funny....back in 1992.

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                                          • taibo
                                            Confirmed User
                                            • May 2005
                                            • 3720

                                            #22
                                            lol nice one

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