Why I fired my secretary.....

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  • Juicy D. Links
    So Fucking Banned
    • Apr 2001
    • 122992

    #1

    Why I fired my secretary.....

    Why I Fired My Secretary...

    Last Week Was My Birthday And I Didn't Feel Very Well Waking Up That
    Morning.

    I Went Downstairs For Breakfast Hoping My Wife Would Be Pleasant And
    Say, "Happy Birthday!", And Possibly Have A Present For Me.

    As It Turned Out, She Barely Said Good Morning, Let Alone "happy
    Birthday."

    I Thought... Well, That's Marriage For You, But The Kids Will Remember.
    My Kids Ate Breakfast And Didn't Say A Word.

    So When I Left For The Office, I Was Feeling Pretty Low And Somewhat
    Despondent.

    As I Walked Into My Office, My Secretary, Jane Said, "good Morning Boss,
    Happy Birthday!" It Felt A Little Better That At Least Someone Had
    Remembered.

    I Worked Until One O'clock And Then Jane Knocked On My Door And Said,
    "you Know, It's Such A Beauti ful Day Outside, And It's Your Birthday,
    Let's Go Out To Lunch, Just You And Me."

    I Said, "thanks Jane, That's The Greatest Thing I've Heard All Day.
    Let's Go!"
    We Went To Lunch. But We Didn't Go Where We Normally Would Go. We Dined
    Instead At A Little Place With A Private Table. We Had Two Martinis Each
    And I Enjoyed The Meal Tremendously.

    On The Way Back To The Office, Jane Said, "you Know, It's Such A
    Beautiful Day... We Don't Need To Go Back To The Office, Do We?"

    I Responded, "i Guess Not. What Do You Have In Mind?"

    She Said, "let's Go To My Apartment."

    After Arriving At Her Apartment Jane Turned To Me And Said, "boss, If
    You Don't Mind, I'm Going To Step Into The Bedroom For A Moment. I'll Be
    Right Back."

    "ok." I Nervously Replied.

    She Wen t Into The Bedroom And, After A Couple Of Minutes, She Came Out
    Carrying A Huge Birthday Cake...
    Followed By My Wife, Kids, And Dozens Of My Friends And Co-workers, All
    Singing "happy Birthday".


    And I Just Sat There...



    On The Couch........










    Naked.
  • GrouchyAdmin
    Now choke yourself!
    • Apr 2006
    • 12085

    #2
    Dear VB,

    Please convert the all uppercase translation to do a strtolower, then ucwords only the first word, or after a proper sentence terminator..

    Thank you.

    Comment

    • born2blog
      Confirmed User
      • Sep 2006
      • 1801

      #3
      is this a true story?
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      • tenderobject
        Need Designs? 312352846
        • Dec 2004
        • 11688

        #4
        i wonder where did i read this one not so long ago.. but if thats ture thats fucking fucked up.. probably her wife kicked him out of their house not her secretary lol funny read! hahaha


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        • AsianDivaGirlsWebDude
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          • Jul 2004
          • 38323

          #5
          "Mommy, how come Daddy's not wearing any clothes?"

          Good one...

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          • dissipate
            The Dirty Frenchman
            • Nov 2005
            • 8904

            #6
            ORLY

            8char

            Comment

            • Makingcoin
              Confirmed User
              • Aug 2002
              • 8919

              #7

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              • Kimo
                ...
                • Jan 2006
                • 11542

                #8
                Originally posted by born2blog
                is this a true story?


                ...

                Comment

                • madawgz
                  8.8.8.8
                  • Mar 2006
                  • 30509

                  #9
                  juicy did you write that?
                  TAEMDLRMSKRJIXMRLSMRJ.

                  Comment

                  • Andiz
                    Confirmed User
                    • Feb 2006
                    • 2594

                    #10
                    Juicy

                    Comment

                    • Scroto
                      Confirmed User
                      • Nov 2005
                      • 2804

                      #11
                      best one i have seen in a while!

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                      • Basic_man
                        Programming King Pin
                        • Oct 2003
                        • 27360

                        #12
                        Ho god, that's a funny story :P
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                        • marketsmart
                          HOMICIDAL TROLL KILLER
                          • Dec 2004
                          • 20419

                          #13
                          juicy, i am really looking forward to seeing you on this seasons "Little People Living In A Big World".... its gonna be a great show...

                          Comment

                          • juz
                            Confirmed User
                            • May 2006
                            • 307

                            #14
                            Originally posted by born2blog
                            is this a true story?
                            I dont know what is better, the joke or this quote

                            Comment

                            • Freedoom
                              Confirmed User
                              • Feb 2006
                              • 2812

                              #15
                              LOL omg nice story!!
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                              • rodney25
                                Confirmed User
                                • Jun 2005
                                • 7090

                                #16
                                Could be the most memorable birthday party for you.


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                                • Juicy D. Links
                                  So Fucking Banned
                                  • Apr 2001
                                  • 122992

                                  #17
                                  Originally posted by born2blog
                                  is this a true story?
                                  nah i got in a email from a buddy

                                  Comment

                                  • Juicy D. Links
                                    So Fucking Banned
                                    • Apr 2001
                                    • 122992

                                    #18
                                    Originally posted by tenderobject
                                    i wonder where did i read this one not so long ago.. but if thats ture thats fucking fucked up.. probably her wife kicked him out of their house not her secretary lol funny read! hahaha
                                    it was sent to me via email , but i bet this must be a true story and must have happened somehwere and sometime

                                    Comment

                                    • RastaSkull
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • May 2006
                                      • 2352

                                      #19
                                      Originally posted by born2blog
                                      is this a true story?
                                      what u think aaaaa.......??

                                      this i very good joke

                                      Comment

                                      • Rochard
                                        Jägermeister Test Pilot
                                        • Dec 2001
                                        • 75733

                                        #20
                                        Originally posted by born2blog
                                        is this a true story?
                                        It's been floating around the internet for what - ten years now?
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                                        Comment

                                        • MaDalton
                                          I am Amazing Content!
                                          • Feb 2004
                                          • 39861

                                          #21
                                          Originally posted by Rochard
                                          It's been floating around the internet for what - ten years now?
                                          i think it's from the bible - old testament
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                                          • nAtuRaLbEautY
                                            Confirmed User
                                            • May 2006
                                            • 6107

                                            #22
                                            oh my, that would be reasonable
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                                            • tranza
                                              ICQ: 197-556-237
                                              • Jun 2003
                                              • 57559

                                              #23
                                              Lol, pretty funny...
                                              I'm just a newbie.

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                                              • Wiggles
                                                Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                • May 2004
                                                • 14423

                                                #24
                                                haha that would be fucking priceless!
                                                no sig

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                                                • Webmistress - Doreen
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Apr 2006
                                                  • 513

                                                  #25
                                                  he's fucked up. lol!
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                                                  • thebossxxx
                                                    Confirmed User
                                                    • Dec 2005
                                                    • 3209

                                                    #26
                                                    Thats sucks...lol


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                                                    • marketsmart
                                                      HOMICIDAL TROLL KILLER
                                                      • Dec 2004
                                                      • 20419

                                                      #27
                                                      Originally posted by born2blog
                                                      is this a true story?
                                                      haha

                                                      Comment

                                                      • Juicy D. Links
                                                        So Fucking Banned
                                                        • Apr 2001
                                                        • 122992

                                                        #28
                                                        Originally posted by born2blog
                                                        is this a true story?
                                                        Yeah bro very true.... I cant believe how bad i got owned when i was nekkkkkid

                                                        Comment

                                                        • SacredGate
                                                          Confirmed User
                                                          • Jul 2006
                                                          • 130

                                                          #29
                                                          "look mommy, dad waas on his birthday suit"

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                                                          • E$_manager
                                                            Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                            • Apr 2006
                                                            • 13557

                                                            #30
                                                            Great! The best part was "...Naked!"
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                                                            • notabook
                                                              Confirmed User
                                                              • Apr 2006
                                                              • 9748

                                                              #31
                                                              That was one of the funniest jokes I've ever read... lmao!

                                                              Comment

                                                              • Sinstar
                                                                Confirmed User
                                                                • Mar 2006
                                                                • 1206

                                                                #32
                                                                hahaha thats hillarious! Great joke.

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                                                                • DaddyHalbucks
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                                                                  • Feb 2004
                                                                  • 18975

                                                                  #33
                                                                  Good one Juicy.
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                                                                  • sharp
                                                                    Confirmed User
                                                                    • Jan 2003
                                                                    • 7006

                                                                    #34
                                                                    hahahaha

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                                                                    • Phil
                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                      • Jan 2004
                                                                      • 7659

                                                                      #35
                                                                      ha-ha-ha.. classic
                                                                      Ask Phil

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                                                                      • Aquarius
                                                                        Confirmed User
                                                                        • May 2004
                                                                        • 4754

                                                                        #36

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                                                                        • reynold
                                                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                          • Oct 2002
                                                                          • 51271

                                                                          #37
                                                                          That's exactly why some men hate surprises.

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                                                                          • Spankys Teens
                                                                            Confirmed User
                                                                            • May 2005
                                                                            • 1414

                                                                            #38
                                                                            That;s funny

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                                                                            • Klen
                                                                              • Aug 2006
                                                                              • 32234

                                                                              #39
                                                                              Ha ha funny what people will not write.But if that would happen to me i would be so rush to be naked.

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                                                                              • Zuss
                                                                                Confirmed User
                                                                                • Apr 2004
                                                                                • 1187

                                                                                #40
                                                                                ceen it...still great to read again
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                                                                                • Vitasoy
                                                                                  GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!!
                                                                                  • Oct 2003
                                                                                  • 58202

                                                                                  #41
                                                                                  That had me cracking


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                                                                                  • MyNameIsNobody
                                                                                    Confirmed User
                                                                                    • Dec 2005
                                                                                    • 2947

                                                                                    #42
                                                                                    Originally posted by Spankys Teens
                                                                                    That;s funny



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                                                                                    • Violetta
                                                                                      Affiliate
                                                                                      • Jul 2004
                                                                                      • 28735

                                                                                      #43
                                                                                      ahahahahahahaha
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                                                                                      • en21
                                                                                        Confirmed User
                                                                                        • May 2006
                                                                                        • 2640

                                                                                        #44
                                                                                        good one LOL :-)
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                                                                                        • TGPturnkeys
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                                                                                          • Oct 2006
                                                                                          • 879

                                                                                          #45
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                                                                                          • Gary_TLX
                                                                                            Confirmed User
                                                                                            • Feb 2006
                                                                                            • 776

                                                                                            #46
                                                                                            LOL, that was great.
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                                                                                            • calibra
                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                              • Feb 2003
                                                                                              • 4357

                                                                                              #47
                                                                                              True or not true but really funny. Life's a bitch

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                                                                                              • Juicy D. Links
                                                                                                So Fucking Banned
                                                                                                • Apr 2001
                                                                                                • 122992

                                                                                                #48
                                                                                                Originally posted by Spankys Teens
                                                                                                That;s funny


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                                                                                                • MaddCaz
                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                  • Mar 2006
                                                                                                  • 9483

                                                                                                  #49
                                                                                                  ummmm schwa???

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                                                                                                  • squishypimp
                                                                                                    PostMaster General
                                                                                                    • Aug 2006
                                                                                                    • 10781

                                                                                                    #50
                                                                                                    lol funny story

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