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yep - she's gone.
A Letter To MY FANS
Current mood: determined
Category: Life
I want to thank all of you for your support throughout the years. My website forum is very active with over 1,000 members as is my website. I must be honest though I have made a living off of all of you for long enough. I want to set you free!
Let me explain a bit. Many of you may have seen my last few diary entries on my website and if you have not I addressed some of my concerns with the adult industry. I felt have been feeling very sad for girls who are in porn who are strung out on drugs, their souls are lost, and they are doing unimaginable things with whoever and waking up one day and wondering where their lives went or even worse ending up dead. I have been reading gossip forums for a couple of years and I also know some of these girls that porn is destroying. I have been in porn for 6 years and I have witnessed first hand a gorgeous womans looks fade along with her soul. It really breaks my heart.
A lot of you don't know what goes on behind the scenes. You guys know I didn't do a lot of what I am speaking of because I stuck to the softer side of porn (seems weird to say that). The thing is even girls who do the softer side of porn sometimes lose themselves. Some become strippers and a lot of girls who do the softer stuff escort. Many of the girls have been victims of abuse sometime in their lifetime and are just looking for love and acceptance (like me).
My eyes were recently opened to the total destruction porn does. Not only does it hurt the girls in the business but it hurts you the consumer. Porn does not discriminate. Sex/porn addiction is preventing many people from finding true happiness in their lives. I know because I have spoken to so many of you through the years by email and message exchanges. Many of you spoke to me about your wives, your lonlieness, your dreams, and many of you looked to me for all the answers. I always tried to be careful when answering because I always realized that you are a person just like me who wants love and acceptance. I have gone through times when the guilt was so bad I just didn't answer at all hence my many hiatuses.
This will be the last time I leave all of you hanging.
Many of you know that my boyfriend and I broke up a couple of months ago but don't know why. I will explain some of that at a later time. Let's just say the effects of the adult business took a hit on my personal life.
I have decided that I want to be free from all of the guilt now. I am making great money doing what I do but the money is not making me happy. I have moved into my own place now for the first time all alone and have decided I want out of the business. I have so much more to offer to the world than my looks and body. These things will fade. I want to experience true real life happiness. I know a lot of you will think I have lost my mind but I think that will only be the ones of you who never really knew me. I have decided to go back to my one true love who is Jesus. You may or may not believe in him and well I am not here to judge you. I am just here to share with you my story if you are willing to listen.
My website is still up for now and I have yet to discuss these things with my webmasters. I am not sure what will happen in that respect. I am looking for legal counseling and any help I can get. It will be gone soon enough though. I will be posting here on my myspace page everything going on in my life until then.
I ask you to forgive me for entering into your lives and stripping you from the more important things in life like finding true love, happiness, and your families.
Crissy
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I moved my sites to Vacares Hosting. I've saved money, my hair is thicker, lost some weight too! Thanks Sly!
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