SmokeyTheBear...Care to explain this? {DRAMA}

lol.....

hahahahah

i smell butt sex.

yeah and it smells like shit

i knew eventually someone would call me on this.. damn old jobs come back to haunt you

is this you forest hating propoganda media whoore

http://www.geocities.com/grendelthedog/UnNamed.html

While most conspiracy theorists preach that the CIA or another high-level government organization is withholding thousands of pieces of vital information from the American people, new information is emerging that the Department of Agriculture?s Forest Service could be the lynchpin in several vast government cover-ups. ?They?re into some sketchy things, no question,? said former Bears and Saints head coach Mike Ditka. ?All those UFOs are found in forests. You think that?s a coincidence? Except that one in Roswell, that was in a field, but more are in forests. It?s disconcerting.?

Nor are washed-up football coaches the only concerned parties. Smoky T. Bear, a former high-level Forest Service employee, is putting the finishing touches on a tell-all book that he says will blow the lid off the Forest Service and ?reveal the truth? to the American people. ?The people need to know what this organization is doing,? said Bear. ?That ?Caring for the Land and Serving People? crap reads good on paper, but look behind it and you?ll see what they?re all about.? Indeed, a recent U.S. News and World Report story called the Forest Service ?the single most ominous, odious, and scary organization in the world ? worse than communists, Nazis, and pedophilic bestiality freaks combined.?

The statistics revealed by both the report and Smoky T. Bear speak for themselves ? since the Forest Service?s creation in 1905, over 140 million people have died in the United States, an average of 1.5 million a year. Unfortunately, the Forest Service has consistently been able to cover its tracks. ?You couldn?t trace one death back to them,? said Bear. ?But there?s no question they?re responsible for all the deaths everywhere, and probably others, too.?

Smoky T. Bear?s book contains dozens of top-secret Forest Service memoranda, revealed to the public for the first time. ?We were told to burn them all,? said Bear. ?But I?ve got this things about fires, so I never did.? One memo states that the true mission of the Forest Service is
?To decimate the nation?s forests for personal gain, to make affordable health care unreachable for as many citizens as possible, to keep the hundreds of extra-terrestrials imprisoned on our planet working at Wal-Mart, and to beat the rival Food Safety Inspection Service at intramural softball BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.?
This mission statement was later shortened in another memo to simply ?Murder, rape and kill as many citizens as possible.? (While there are no statistics for the USDA?s intramural softball league, insiders say that the Food Safety Inspection Service beat the Forest Service just once, two days before the body parts of several Food Safety Inspection Service employees were found floating in the Hudson River. The Forest Service has not lost an intramural game since.)

Another memo, titled ?Protocols of the Elders of the Forest Service? was a recording of the minutes of a top-level meeting of Forest Service officials. The memo indicates that the Forest Service purposefully poisoned the Colorado River, deliberately spread impetigo, and used the blood of Park Rangers to make chili.

Smoky T. Bear urges citizens to avoid the not just the Forest Service, but the forest as well. ?You want to stay out of the woods at all costs,? says Bear. ?That?s when they get you.? Bear went further and advocated burning down as many Nationally protected forests as possible. ?Daniel Boone National Forest in Kentucky, Cibola National Forest in New Mexico, Flathead National Forest in Montana ? all of these must be purged with a pillar of holy fire.?

Smokey the Bear: The secret behind the forrest-fire-preventing-bear

An Introduction might see fit in this rant, as anyone who as not read my previous rant, "Smokey the Bear" will call me a screwed up little freak. Well, what do you know--my intro's over.

Smokey the Bear

A name that strikes fear into the hearts of woodland creatures. A name that makes the government think "those fools." A name that represents a bear takeover of earth.

Those, are primary theorys of what Smokey the Bear is really about. Those who think me a little freak, or SUP (screwed up people) will most likely be saying "Stupid little freak. He's about preventing forrest fires." And that is why I call you a freak. It takes half a mind to realize how false this ploy is. Again, I state a simple equation:

smokey = fire. fire + BEAR = FORREST FIRE

If Smokey stood for preventing fires, his hat might say "Water" or "Cool" or "My name is 'I don't like forrest fire's'" It would not be advertising them! And even if it were, the following NEWLY DISCOVERED (ie, didn't appear in my previous rant) PROOF THAT SMOKEY DOES NOT STAND FOR ANTI-FORREST FIRE'S would completely override it.

Smittologists, the leading scientific experts in Smittensland, have just discovered that humans are not as closely related to monkeys as previously thought. In fact, we might not be related to monkeys AT ALL!

Yes folks, it has been determined that one of if not THE closest relative of the human race is BEARS! And, I think we can all agree that humans are naturally lazy. That being said, it would be naturally asumed that bears are also one of nature's laziest creatures. Still don't see the evidence? Fine (stupid).

A bear eats living things, many a time a day. Therefore, as they don't have human intelligence, instead of rigging those rabbit traps with the circle on the ground, they chase their food. And, that would allow evolution to take place, and cause a bear's prey to become a tree-climbing animal. And, if you still don't see the proof, read on.

So we've already determined that bears are lazy. Therefore, they would not want to climb to catch food. And so, they would be much happier if TREES WERE BURNED DOWN AND PREY HAD NOWHERE TO GO! That being said, I end the "Why Smokey is a fraud" section.

So, one theory of Smokey's true-ness. SMOKEY THE BEAR IS A CIA AGENT. And, I shall breifly repeat previously stated proof for SUP.

Uncle Sam was a well-known propaganda tool. He had a hat, a fuzzy face, and pointed. All things Smokey does/has. Basiclly, Smokey is a future-day representation of Uncle Sam. Also, you might notice that on both the posters and the commercials, Smokey is ALWAYS pointing at you, no matter where you stand. Only the government has this type of magic. And, although it does not directly suggest that Smokey is a CIA agent, I will restate my equation, which I will end up doing many times throughout this rant. Or maybe I won't. But I probably will, because all of the line skipping makes this seem longer. But that chases away readers! Okay, I won't.

Smokey=fire Bear=Forrest Forrest+fire=forrest fire

Next theory: Smokey wants to terrify all the other animals in forrests into being his slaves. How many of you are thinking that I could not possibly have any proof for this theory? Many, I suppose. But I do.

First, he appears calm in commercials. This is to keep us from thinking him a sadistic tyrant. But we should know better! GRIZZLY bears have one of the highest kill rate a year (for bears)!

The other evidence is that if Smokey really is preventing forrest fires, which, since it supports this theory makes me not think as highly of it as others, then he must be doing it for a reason! Namely, having it as a tool. Think about it. If he stops us from lighting forrests on fire, he can threaten animals, saying he'll light thier homes on fire if they don't submit to him! If animals think at some point in time he has no control over all of their homes, they'd revolt!

The final theory I'll state now: Smokey the Bear wants to take over the world. Believe it, people.

"Mommy can I go in that room?" "No! Never!" Five minutes later, the kid is in the room.

When told not to do something, we all naturally want to do it. It's part of being a human. We can't avoid it. We posess natural curiosity of forbidden things. A trait an ingenius bear would play off.

Many things in life require a resource from a tree. Paper and wooden furniture for a start.

I'm sure this all sees like random bits of information. However, it is the evidence for the theory that I believe in the most. Smokey, being the diabolicdal genius, could realize our trait. He says "don't start forrest fires," knowing that it fills us with a curiosity to see what happens if we do burn down all the trees. Eventually, we might, if the commercials continue. And then?

Weakness. Death. This would happen to much of, if not all of, the human race. Leaving Smokey with a clear path to take over the world. Be afraid, be very afraid.

That being said, I offer a warning to all of you who aren't ignorant enough to dismiss this instantly: He knows all--beware him--he is not an innocent grizzly bear.

And now, I thank you for making it all the way through this rant. Good job. It will pay off in time.

A final word: Go now! Spread the word! Or we shall find a warped world, all because of a bear.

its wierd this threads title says "baddog whats this all about "

Long read.

That's quit a long read.

haha

haha nice

hehe

lol hahahaha

A reply and half.Btw did anyone saw pic where smokey bear says"only you can prevent stupid post"

Fox News' bias is beaming through super brightly this morning

Every few minutes for the past half hour or so where they normally put a title for what they are covering they have been putting up:
How Dare Hugo Chavez Blast the United States?

They should have changed the name of this station to Fox OpEd many moons ago

Where is the edit button this morning? This was supposed to be a new topic...

interesting reading!!

Lol, nice find.....