Top Ten Things George Washington Would Say If He Were Alive Today

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  • Dagwolf
    President of Canada
    • Sep 2003
    • 23141
    #1

    Top Ten Things George Washington Would Say If He Were Alive Today

    10. Hey, that Donahue guy stole my wig!

    9. You need some I.D.? How 'bout this dollar?

    8. I'm on the single and that fat kite-flying weasel Ben Franklin is on the hundred?

    7. Julia Roberts married Lyle Lovett?

    6. No, I'm not Barbara Bush.

    5. I'm the first president of the U.S.; what do you mean I can't get Streisand tickets?

    4. Did you see 'Seinfeld' last night? That Kramer is a riot!

    3. Ben Franklin? Gay.

    2. Would you please get your hands off Martha, Mr. Barker?

    1. My god -- Sam Dondaldson is annoying!
    Sleep well, and dream of large women.

    Tags: None
    • Dagwolf
      President of Canada
      • Sep 2003
      • 23141
      #2
      Top Ten Signs Your Local Anchorman is Nuts


      10. His so-called "co-anchor" is a six-pack of Bud.

      9. Most of the stories from the local police involve him.

      8. At least once per broadcast, publicly proposes to Susan Powter

      7. After every story, he frantically washes his hands.

      6. Puts on woman's wig and introduces self as "Connie Rather"

      5. When local sports teams lose, he bursts into tears.

      4. Wears big plastic cone around neck to keep him from nipping at microphone

      3. Ends every newscast by screaming: "Goodnight mommy!"

      2. Starts newscast over so he can be introduced with smoke, lights and dancing girls

      1. All he's wearing is a necktie.
      Sleep well, and dream of large women.

        Comment

        • BRISK
          Too lazy to set a custom title
          • Feb 2003
          • 12240
          #3
          I'm guessing that list is about 10 years old
          I post on GFY so that when people ask me what I do,
          I can tell them that I work with the mentally retarded.

            Comment

            • STD
              So Fucking Banned
              • May 2005
              • 524
              #4
              You know what... I like those...
              I think I have heard them before but they were just what I needed before calling it a night! Keep it up and see what other classics you can dig up... hey if you can find it see if you can post the one about the ways to make hockey more exciting... I don't rember all of it but there was one on there that made me laugh so hard...
              "only guys named stanley get to wear a cup".

                Comment

                • Skillz Unlimited
                  Confirmed User
                  • Aug 2004
                  • 1541
                  #5
                  booooooooooooooo

                    Comment

                    • Sarah_Jayne
                      Now with more Jayne
                      • Dec 2002
                      • 40077
                      #6
                      letterman havibg a going out of buisness sale?

                        Comment

                        • gecko
                          ******
                          • Jun 2002
                          • 21846
                          #7
                          Blah.. zzzzz ;)
                          [email protected]

                            Comment

                            • Dagwolf
                              President of Canada
                              • Sep 2003
                              • 23141
                              #8
                              Originally posted by STD
                              You know what... I like those...
                              I think I have heard them before but they were just what I needed before calling it a night! Keep it up and see what other classics you can dig up... hey if you can find it see if you can post the one about the ways to make hockey more exciting... I don't rember all of it but there was one on there that made me laugh so hard...
                              "only guys named stanley get to wear a cup".

                              Here it is, by special request!

                              Top Ten Ways to Make Hockey More Exciting


                              10. During playoffs, players dress up as their favorite Ice Capades character

                              9. Canadians must play in bare feet

                              8. All penalty minutes must be served sitting next to that guy who played "Doc" on "The Love Boat."

                              7. Just barely visible under ice: frozen body of Walt Disney

                              6. Replace Zamboni with Ford Bronco

                              5. Your New Jersey Devils starting goalie--Miss Katharine Hepburn

                              4. New snack bar item: player's missing teeth dipped in fudge

                              3. Every team roster must include one lesser known cast member from "The Love Boat"

                              2. Only guys named Stanley get to wear a cup

                              1. Let Michael Jordan take a crack at it
                              Sleep well, and dream of large women.

                                Comment

                                • runaway
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Feb 2004
                                  • 1177
                                  #9
                                  .. . . . . . . .. .

                                    Comment

                                    • smack
                                      Push Porn Like Weight.
                                      • Mar 2002
                                      • 10652
                                      #10
                                      i'm pretty sure if Washington came back, he would be screaming "What did you idiots do to my country?" over, and over, and over again.
                                      Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.

                                        Comment

                                        • opflix
                                          Confirmed User
                                          • Jul 2002
                                          • 1428
                                          #11
                                          fuck all that... he'd be sayin, "why are all these slaves walkin' around without chains... go get me some cotton, bwah!"





                                          ..
                                          Social Escrow - Buying & Selling Accounts? Contact Me | Social Escrow IG

                                            Comment

                                            • SmokeyTheBear
                                              ►SouthOfHeaven
                                              • Jun 2004
                                              • 28609
                                              #12
                                              Originally posted by smack
                                              i'm pretty sure if Washington came back, he would be screaming "What did you idiots do to my country?" over, and over, and over again.

                                              Nah , most likely he would be on gfy clicking my sig
                                              hatisblack at yahoo.com

                                                Comment

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