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Want a fun version that shows complete idiocy by the paid panhandlers?
I was grocery shopping at a local store, I saw a booth near the exit on my way in. I just paid no attention to it. The only ones I stop for typically are the folks trying to get signatures on stuff.
So I do a large amount of shopping, using my own little technique to push the grocery cart in front of my wheelchair. P.S. the wheelchair friendly carts are a fucking joke and only work if you happen to be in one of those chrome hospital chairs with the solid thin rubber tires and the vinyl seating
(another rant all together). Back to the point. I bagged my groceries, reloaded the cart and head out. That's when it all began.
A fairly attractive young brunette who obviously had the brain capacity of a three year old with a two year meth habit, literally stepped in front of my cart that I was pushing. Took hold enough to stop it. Placed her hand on my shoulder, to lean towards me and began to speak very slow and loud.
My first thought was Gee how special, this partially retarded chick is going to give me some have you found god speech or something. Then as I listened to her slow yet loud speech, and ruling out retardation, sensing no southern accent, and doing this while I am fighting an internal struggle of trying t o decide if staring down a retards blouse is wrong or not since she was so hot and she decided to bend over in front of me.
Then it dawned on me that she was wanting money for some cause. I spoke back slow and loud to her as well, still figuring maybe she had some sort of disability. She eventually got around to the point and asked for a minimum contribution of 25.00. Due to tit distraction I had to ask again what she was collecting for. Then it slowly came out of her mouth.
THE (pause) SPINAL (pause) CORD (pause) INJURY (I stopped listening right then). I looked straight at her face for the first time, spoke very clearly and asked if she was fucking kidding me. Did you really just cut off and accost a person in a wheelchair i.e. spinal cord injury to ask me for money to help out people with spinal cord injuries? Good gawd did they just hire you for your tits or because of your impaired speech? She got big eyed and confused. In a normal voice she said she was so sorry. As I pushed away hearing this, I just said scratch the impaired speech reason, your just a hot idiot with tits aint ya. She turned and walked away, from the booth and everything. Not sure where she went but damn I was so annoyed.
I felt slightly bad afterwards. Not for what I said, but for actually staring at her tits when I thought she was retarded.
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