Top 10 Rules for Running a Successful Affilate Program

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  • Black Dog
    Confirmed User
    • Jan 2004
    • 1108
    #1

    Top 10 Rules for Running a Successful Affilate Program



    10. Treat your affiliates like they're lucky to be sending you traffic

    9. All surfers are suckers: it is your job to remind them

    8. Start a war on every board and flame everyone that replies

    7. Hire/fire your sales staff on a weekly basis

    6. Go to every show, get wasted at every party and disrepect everyone you meet

    5. Act like Internet porn is a get-rich-quick scheme, not a "real" business

    4. Promise your surfers whatever it takes to get them to join

    3. Don't waste time delivering what your promised

    2. Keep your cross-sales in the fine print where they belong

    1. Always remember: YOU ARE THE MOTHERFUCKING PIMP. THE WORLD IS YOUR BITCH.


    B

    P.S. If you are tired of programs that act like the above is actually true, try sending your traffic to...
    Looking for a great program that converts ANY traffic? Me too! :-P
    Tags: None
    • brand0n
      been very busy
      • Nov 2002
      • 26983
      #2
      why did you copy lightspeeds post?....
      want to buy this spot for cheap? it is of course for sale. long term deals are always the best bet. brand0n/ at/ a o l dot commies.

        Comment

        • Black Dog
          Confirmed User
          • Jan 2004
          • 1108
          #3
          Originally posted by brand0n
          why did you copy lightspeeds post?....
          ROFL... Did I copy his thread? I don't think so. I wrote the above a long time ago but Steve's post inspired me to finally start the thread. If you read it you would see that only #6 is the same, and that is a coincidence. But thanks anyway!


          B
          Looking for a great program that converts ANY traffic? Me too! :-P

            Comment

            • scotty2hotty1111
              Confirmed User
              • Apr 2006
              • 1113
              #4
              Originally posted by Black Dog
              7. Hire/fire your sales staff on a weekly basis
              damn
              ICQ - 278931233




              Giving up is just NOT an option

                Comment

                • elron
                  Confirmed User
                  • Jul 2003
                  • 1553
                  #5
                  most of it true , except #1 . last one who asked me too many questions about my site got his fhg delleted from my system.

                    Comment

                    • Dagwolf
                      President of Canada
                      • Sep 2003
                      • 23141
                      #6
                      Actually I hear those methods work.
                      Sleep well, and dream of large women.

                        Comment

                        • Black Dog
                          Confirmed User
                          • Jan 2004
                          • 1108
                          #7
                          Originally posted by Dagwolf
                          Actually I hear those methods work.
                          I think they did in 1999 but I'm not sure about today. I wouldn't know, I started my program in 2000.


                          B
                          Looking for a great program that converts ANY traffic? Me too! :-P

                            Comment

                            • Mr. Romance
                              The Face of Romance and the Symbol of Freedom
                              • Mar 2005
                              • 7821
                              #8
                              Whats up Barry!


                              Mr. Romance
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                              Gerard-Director of Global Sales
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                                Comment

                                • jbrasco951
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Sep 2005
                                  • 597
                                  #9
                                  straight talkin from the hip Barry
                                  Johnny Brasco
                                  The Best Radio Producer ever!
                                  ICQ# 208929056
                                  Yahoo: jbrasco951

                                    Comment

                                    • lesbodojo
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Sep 2003
                                      • 2839
                                      #10
                                      That's too funny, Barry. Thank you for the afternoon giggle.
                                      Adult DVDs + Amateur Video Mobile Porn (iPad, Android, iPhone, + Palm Pre)
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                                        Comment

                                        • twinkley
                                          Confirmed User
                                          • Feb 2001
                                          • 807
                                          #11
                                          ahahahahha #3 is my favorite to run into ... especially after #6 ...

                                          twinkley
                                          ICQ - 720-99-798
                                          Email - twinkley @ kiwisourcing dot com






                                            Comment

                                            • mailman
                                              Confirmed User
                                              • Mar 2001
                                              • 6311
                                              #12
                                              Damn it we are doing everything all wrong

                                                Comment

                                                • Phoenix
                                                  BACON BACON BACON
                                                  • Nov 2002
                                                  • 35475
                                                  #13
                                                  i will take all those points down as good advice
                                                  Telegram PhoenixBrad
                                                  https://quantads.io

                                                    Comment

                                                    • JFK
                                                      FUBAR the ORIGINATOR
                                                      • Jan 2002
                                                      • 67369
                                                      #14
                                                      #8 is very appropriate, specially here

                                                      FUBAR Webmasters - The FUBAR Times - FUBAR Webmasters Mobile - FUBARTV.XXX
                                                      For promo opps contact jfk at fubarwebmasters dot com

                                                        Comment

                                                        • corvette
                                                          Confirmed User
                                                          • Oct 2001
                                                          • 7880
                                                          #15
                                                          those are great barry
                                                          If you need a good company for check writing services, then check out checkissuing, and for webhosting, check out Phoenix NAP

                                                            Comment

                                                            • Mickey_
                                                              • Nov 2005
                                                              • 4238
                                                              #16
                                                              funny and sad at the same time.


                                                              LifeSelector Affiliates - Make money today promoting the online porn of tomorrow.

                                                              mb [at] lifeselector.com

                                                                Comment

                                                                • RRRED
                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                  • Jan 2001
                                                                  • 6754
                                                                  #17
                                                                  Classic!

                                                                    Comment

                                                                    • Xenophage
                                                                      Registered User
                                                                      • Oct 2001
                                                                      • 12122
                                                                      #18
                                                                      your sexy

                                                                        Comment

                                                                        • stevesonic
                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                          • Feb 2002
                                                                          • 168
                                                                          #19
                                                                          ROFLMAO! Nice!
                                                                          Steve Sonic
                                                                          LoadedCash.com

                                                                            Comment

                                                                            • Rankings
                                                                              Adult SEO
                                                                              • Jan 2004
                                                                              • 10633
                                                                              #20
                                                                              well put
                                                                              Your leader for Adult SEO Services

                                                                              19+ Years Serving the Adult/SEO Industry

                                                                              ICQ: 610-814
                                                                              Skype: xratedseo

                                                                                Comment

                                                                                • NTSS
                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                  • Mar 2005
                                                                                  • 5688
                                                                                  #21
                                                                                  WebCamCash is the shiznit!
                                                                                  ICQ: 150-803-430
                                                                                  Email: marketing7(at)cox(dot)net

                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                    • tranza
                                                                                      ICQ: 197-556-237
                                                                                      • Jun 2003
                                                                                      • 57559
                                                                                      #22
                                                                                      How many Top 10 threads are going to be opened tonight?
                                                                                      I'm just a newbie.

                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                        • Black Dog
                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                          • Jan 2004
                                                                                          • 1108
                                                                                          #23
                                                                                          Originally posted by tranza
                                                                                          How many Top 10 threads are going to be opened tonight?
                                                                                          Must be a trend.


                                                                                          B
                                                                                          Looking for a great program that converts ANY traffic? Me too! :-P

                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                            • Z
                                                                                              Vidi Vici Veni
                                                                                              • Nov 2002
                                                                                              • 6308
                                                                                              #24
                                                                                              Good work Barry! Webcamcash is top-notch, you and Derek work hard to keep it that way.

                                                                                              If you want to experience another program with none of the above hassles and nonsense, click my sig!

                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                • Kenny B!
                                                                                                  Confirmed Abuser
                                                                                                  • Jun 2003
                                                                                                  • 5718
                                                                                                  #25
                                                                                                  haha, nice! Will I bee seeing you in Montreal this weekend?
                                                                                                  Kenny -at- YourPaysitePartner.com
                                                                                                  Skype: kennyb514

                                                                                                  Do business with us:
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                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                    • GUNNER
                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                      • May 2001
                                                                                                      • 2115
                                                                                                      #26
                                                                                                      Originally posted by Z
                                                                                                      Good work Barry! Webcamcash is top-notch, you and Derek work hard to keep it that way.
                                                                                                      HEY!!
                                                                                                      what about me and Hazel??? come on now, where is the LOVE?!?!
                                                                                                      gunner @tutamail.com
                                                                                                      25 years in the jizz biz

                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                        • tony299
                                                                                                          lurker
                                                                                                          • Aug 2002
                                                                                                          • 57021
                                                                                                          #27
                                                                                                          that is funny and sad at the same time.

                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                            • webgurl
                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                              • Aug 2002
                                                                                                              • 7954
                                                                                                              #28
                                                                                                              B , can u send me some free money ? ;)

                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                • Pete-KT
                                                                                                                  Workin With The Devil
                                                                                                                  • Oct 2004
                                                                                                                  • 51532
                                                                                                                  #29
                                                                                                                  Thanks for the rules to Follwo ;)

                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                    • Quick Buck
                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                      • Feb 2006
                                                                                                                      • 1026
                                                                                                                      #30
                                                                                                                      4. Promise your surfers whatever it takes to get them to join

                                                                                                                      thats a bad thing? i mean seriously, better to underpromise and underconvert?
                                                                                                                      $50 FREE TRIALS! Every Day til 2008!!!
                                                                                                                      Only at QuickBuck

                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                        • xNetworx
                                                                                                                          So Fucking What
                                                                                                                          • Jan 2004
                                                                                                                          • 14445
                                                                                                                          #31
                                                                                                                          Send me your traffic ---------------- see sig

                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                            • amateurcanada
                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                              • Jul 2001
                                                                                                                              • 3766
                                                                                                                              #32
                                                                                                                              Originally posted by Black Dog
                                                                                                                              I think they did in 1999 but I'm not sure about today. I wouldn't know, I started my program in 2000.


                                                                                                                              B
                                                                                                                              I've been around since '99 and i'm a Toronto dog too - you promote me lol

                                                                                                                              be our partner - join nichepartners today
                                                                                                                              will.assum.producer @ AmateurCanada.com / icq: 30146166 / facebook.com/will.assum / #amateurcanada

                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                • SteveLightspeed
                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                  • Jul 2001
                                                                                                                                  • 7940
                                                                                                                                  #33
                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by Quick Buck
                                                                                                                                  4. Promise your surfers whatever it takes to get them to join

                                                                                                                                  thats a bad thing? i mean seriously, better to underpromise and underconvert?

                                                                                                                                  You aren't really serious here, are you Hooper? Would you flat out lie on your tour if it makes the site convert better?
                                                                                                                                  Abra-cadabra!

                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                    • Jace
                                                                                                                                      FBOP Class Of 2013
                                                                                                                                      • Jan 2004
                                                                                                                                      • 35562
                                                                                                                                      #34
                                                                                                                                      i love vicodin

                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                        • E$_manager
                                                                                                                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                          • Apr 2006
                                                                                                                                          • 13557
                                                                                                                                          #35
                                                                                                                                          Just check the sig.
                                                                                                                                          Enjoy more sales with EnjoyBucks!
                                                                                                                                          Homemade: Asian : Ebony : GFs : Voyeur : Nudist : Public : 3D

                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                            • minusonebit
                                                                                                                                              So Fucking Banned
                                                                                                                                              • Feb 2006
                                                                                                                                              • 7391
                                                                                                                                              #36
                                                                                                                                              #1 should have been shaving is what makes the world go round.

                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                • J$tyle$
                                                                                                                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                  • Apr 2003
                                                                                                                                                  • 11500
                                                                                                                                                  #37

                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                    • nAtuRaLbEautY
                                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                      • May 2006
                                                                                                                                                      • 6107
                                                                                                                                                      #38
                                                                                                                                                      haha!
                                                                                                                                                      thanks for the advice!
                                                                                                                                                      don't have an affiliate program but it can be pretty useful in the future
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                                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                                        • scottybuzz
                                                                                                                                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                          • May 2006
                                                                                                                                                          • 14799
                                                                                                                                                          #39
                                                                                                                                                          send traffic and use my affiliate code
                                                                                                                                                          $$$$$ MAKE HUGE MONEY IN CAMS - CLICK HERE $$$$$

                                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                                            • Thumbking
                                                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                              • Feb 2003
                                                                                                                                                              • 1067
                                                                                                                                                              #40
                                                                                                                                                              lol, at least you plug the site in a funny way!

                                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                                • KissKristin
                                                                                                                                                                  Registered User
                                                                                                                                                                  • Aug 2006
                                                                                                                                                                  • 10
                                                                                                                                                                  #41
                                                                                                                                                                  okay, thanks, taking notes right now....

                                                                                                                                                                  kisskristin.com
                                                                                                                                                                  kissingirlsblog.com

                                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                                    • Black Dog
                                                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                      • Jan 2004
                                                                                                                                                                      • 1108
                                                                                                                                                                      #42
                                                                                                                                                                      Originally posted by Quick Buck
                                                                                                                                                                      4. Promise your surfers whatever it takes to get them to join

                                                                                                                                                                      thats a bad thing? i mean seriously, better to underpromise and underconvert?
                                                                                                                                                                      It is just a joke. I guess #4 is only funny when you read it with #3:

                                                                                                                                                                      4. Promise your surfers whatever it takes to get them to join
                                                                                                                                                                      3. Don't waste time delivering what your promised


                                                                                                                                                                      B
                                                                                                                                                                      Looking for a great program that converts ANY traffic? Me too! :-P

                                                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                                                        • cmj1981
                                                                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                          • Jun 2006
                                                                                                                                                                          • 127
                                                                                                                                                                          #43
                                                                                                                                                                          You mean I'm really not a motherfucking pimp, and the world is not my slutty whore? ...Damn

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                                                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                                                            • Black Dog
                                                                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                              • Jan 2004
                                                                                                                                                                              • 1108
                                                                                                                                                                              #44
                                                                                                                                                                              Originally posted by cmj1981
                                                                                                                                                                              You mean I'm really not a motherfucking pimp, and the world is not my slutty whore? ...Damn
                                                                                                                                                                              No those rules applied to everyone but you. You really ARE the pimp!


                                                                                                                                                                              B
                                                                                                                                                                              Looking for a great program that converts ANY traffic? Me too! :-P

                                                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                                                • Black Dog
                                                                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                                  • Jan 2004
                                                                                                                                                                                  • 1108
                                                                                                                                                                                  #45
                                                                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by Kenny B!
                                                                                                                                                                                  haha, nice! Will I bee seeing you in Montreal this weekend?
                                                                                                                                                                                  No I can't make it, I wish I could.

                                                                                                                                                                                  Please hit me up on ICQ... we have lots to discuss!


                                                                                                                                                                                  B
                                                                                                                                                                                  Looking for a great program that converts ANY traffic? Me too! :-P

                                                                                                                                                                                    Comment

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