I need a new religion. I will believe anything you say in this thread.

Let's kick it off. In the beginning...

Being gay with Boy Alley is not a sin. In fact Pastor Fred Phelps encourages homosexuality when helping Boy Alley make content.

Now please join www.alleybucks.com and help Boy Alley with his content as it is Gods word.

Wait, skip back a little... There's a God?

I am your god now, give me all your money.

Hey I like this! I'll let you be Jebus!

Everyone eats' their penis... regurally.. and the neighbors too, even though you're a turtle.

I believe you. I also believe I'm going to take a nap now; being a turtle makes me sleepy.

my god. where can i get a print out of your bible?

Believe in yourself.

be a deist , its pure and most of the fore fathers were diests.

what you seing at your around; flowers, insects, world & even planets can not be exist without master/work, so if someone says there is no god; how this planets & systems exist within corect?
if it's naturel existance, why your computer made by someone?

1396 years ago nobody wher knowing that world is sircle, so how Kuran could tell that somethink is wrapping up to world?
thing about it, if it was a square or rectangle; how around of the world could wrapped up by somethink?
_
god could be just 1 wich is Allah.
if there would be more then 1 god, would be war, because they would be wanting to over come with each other.
___
i olso want to correct some mistakes:
Muslims, Cristians & jews blieve the Same Allah (God).
Muslims accept all prophits; as a cronologic, Jesus (Isa) wher before then Prophit Muhammed S.A.V.
Allah let him to jesus know to Muhammed will come after some years later, he called him Ahmed (Heraclitos) Heraclitos is equal with Ahmed name; Ahmed is Muhammed.
Prophit Muhammed has 4 names; Muhammed, Ahmed, Mustafa & 1 more but i forgot if i'm not wrong.
btw. if you want to resurch about Heraclitos wich was the Ahmed (Muhammed), you can look that Barnabas Byble; you will se there.

i'm appologising; if i heard any people's heart, i'm just trying to explane somethinks, i never insolting, you can accept or not, i only posting my reallity.
if anyone wants to information aspecialy you, they can tuch to me & i will be glad to find you even english Quran.
finally i want to finish my word with Mevlana's Saying:
"come who ever you are,
our dor is not a hopeless dor"...
Regards.

Are you a terrorist?

what you seing at your around; flowers, insects, world & even planets can not be exist without master/work, so if someone says there is no god; how this planets & systems exist within correct?
if it's naturel existance, why your computer made by someone?

1396 years ago nobody wher knowing that world is sircle, so how Kuran could tell that somethink is wrapping up to world?
thing about it, if it was a square or rectangle; how around of the world could wrapped up by somethink?
_
god could be just 1 wich is Allah.
if there would be more then 1 god, would be wor, because they would be wanting to over come with each other.
___
i olso want to correct some mistakes:
Muslims, Cristians & jews blieve the Same Allah (God).
Muslims accept all prophits; as a cronologic, Jesus (Isa) wher before then Prophit Muhammed S.A.V.
Allah let him to jesus know to Muhammed will come after some years later, he called him Ahmed (Heraclitos) Heraclitos is equal with Ahmed name; Ahmed is Muhammed.
Prophit Muhammed has 4 names; Muhammed, Ahmed, Mustafa & 1 more but i forgot if i'm not wrong.
btw. if you want to resurch about Heraclitos wich was the Ahmed (Muhammed), you can look that Barnabas Bible; you will se there.

i'm appologising; if i heard any people's heart, i'm just trying to explane somethinks, i never insolting, you can accept or not, i only posting my reallity.
if anyone wants to information aspecialy you, they can tuch to me & i will be glad to find you even english Quran.
finally i want to finish my word with Mevlana's Saying:
"come who ever you are,
our dor is not a hopeless dor"...
Regards.

I pray to a potato. You should too. A potato will not judge you.

are you drunk?

Because of this freak we are now on threat level Ernie. I repeat, we are now at threat level Ernie.

Mankind as we know it, all our "gods" etc. where created (we were geneticly engineered) by an advanced species. This species lives on a 12th planet that circles our solar system on a path that takes 2000 years to complete...

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/038039362X/

read the bible...

Great, little towel head smilies.

Apparently these are passages from the Koran (posted elsewhere by somebody who asserts that Islam is a violent faith):

47:4: ?Now when ye meet in battle those who disbelieve, then it is smiting of the necks until, when ye have routed them, then making fast of bonds?

9:29: ?Fight those who do not believe in Allah, nor in the latter day, nor do they prohibit what Allah and His Messenger have prohibited, nor follow the religion of truth, out of those who have been given the Book, until they pay the tax in acknowledgment of superiority and they are in a state of subjection.?

4:76: ?Those who believe fight in the way of Allah, and those who disbelieve fight in the way of the Shaitan. Fight therefore against the friends of the Shaitan; surely the strategy of the Shaitan is weak.?

8:12: ?When your Lord revealed to the angels: I am with you, therefore make firm those who believe. I will cast terror into the hearts of those who disbelieve. Therefore strike off their heads and strike off every fingertip of them.?

8:38-39: ?Say to the Unbelievers, if (now) they desist (from Unbelief), their past would be forgiven them; but if they persist, the punishment of those before them is already (a matter of warning for them). And fight them on until there is no more tumult or oppression, and there prevail justice and faith in Allah altogether and everywhere; but if they cease, verily Allah doth see all that they do.?

9:39: ?If you do not go forth, He will chastise you with a painful chastisement and bring in your place a people other than you, and you will do Him no harm; and Allah has power over all things.?

4:74: ?Therefore let those fight in the way of Allah, who sell this world?s life for the hereafter; and whoever fights in the way of Allah, then be he slain or be he victorious, We shall grant him a mighty reward.?

9:111: ?Surely Allah has bought of the believers their persons and their property for this, that they shall have the garden; they fight in Allah?s way, so they slay and are slain; a promise which is binding on Him in the Taurat and the Injeel and the Quran; and who is more faithful to his covenant than Allah? Rejoice therefore in the pledge which you have made; and that is the mighty achievement.?

Here's secular dogma from one of my favorite bands (Tool - song Opiate) in case you want to come back to our non-religious camp:

Choices always were a problem for you.
What you need is someone strong to guide you.
Deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow,
What you need is someone strong to use you..
Like me,
Like me.

If you want to get your soul to heaven,
Trust in me .
Dont judge or question.
You are broken now ,
But faith can heal you.
Just do everything I tell you to do.
Deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow.
Let me lay my holy hand upon you.

My gods will
Becomes me.
When he speaks out,
He speaks through me.
He has needs
Like I do.
We both want
To rape you.

Jesus christ, why dont you come save my life.
Open my eyes and blind me with your light
And your lies.

The gaping lotus experience

come closer my son and have a seat, and I will tell you the mysteries of the universe.

In the begining it was dark (so dark you'd fall and trip alot cause ya couldn't see where the fuck you were going) so yeah where was I? oh yeah it was dark, till someone flipped on the light switch, his name was....... I dont remember what his name was so lets just call him Murry.

So murry kicked on the lights, and now it was light, a little too bright so he called up his buddy.... fuck forgot his name too, ok skip that, he made some calls invented the first union, and they all built the world, but not the world as you think you know it.

So murry had this way cool world right, and it had flowers, trees, plants, animals (some real freaky looking ones too cause murry was all fucked up in the head) anyway Murry was fucking board, he decided he needed to make some... um what the hell were they called... fuck it lets call um, people, yeah people. Murry created this male people... no person yeah thats it, male person, his name was... um dave, murry and dave would sit around all day and talk, about what? you really wouldn't care to be honest...

anyway, dave challanged murry to a game of jarts (you remember jarts?) anyway the winner of the game would gain controll of this whole deal, and well dave was a scammy lil fucker and he cheated like mad, and he won the jarts game, and he made murry move to a place they now call clevland.

And there you have
THE BEGINING

-Loki-

here is a religion i believe in:
you can't think anythink wrong, bad, offensive, hative (if such word exists). Anything you think or even do will turn against you or your chidren or your relatives in future.
you can't ask God of nothing. If you will ask you will probably get it, but that will couse the disballance in your life and something will go wrong: you will get problems in some other sphere.