Can you make me laugh? CONTEST

**who** · 03-21-2005, 10:57 AM

Um... I can make you laugh but it will cost you an Amazon.com certificate.

**Chio The Pirate** · 03-21-2005, 10:57 AM

**who** · 03-21-2005, 10:58 AM

I want to make love to Chio.

**Doc911** · 03-21-2005, 11:03 AM

Four nuns are waiting to get to heaven. The first nun approaches the gate and God asks her if she has anything to declare, she says "Yes, I once saw a mans penis." God says "Go wash your eyes in the Holy Fountain and enter the gates of Heaven. The second nun approaches, and God asks if she has anything to declare, and the nun says "Yes I once touched a mans penis." God says "Go wash your hands in the Holy Fountain and enter the gates the heaven." The third and fourth nun start arguing, and when God asks what's wrong, the third nun says, "I want to gargle in the Holy Fountain first before she sticks her ass in it."

**PantieZ** · 03-21-2005, 11:07 AM

http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=446622

**CDSmith** · 03-21-2005, 11:11 AM

This one always gets me going...

**Penrod** · 03-21-2005, 11:12 AM

Peanuts......Popcorn......Hot Roasted Cho Cho Lips

**The Adult Broker** · 03-21-2005, 11:22 AM

Originally posted by CDSmith

This one always gets me going...

LOL. ok that drew a chuckle...

more pics, they're fun.

the nun joke was pretty good too

**Meta Ridley** · 03-21-2005, 11:32 AM

**GigaChris** · 03-21-2005, 11:33 AM

Heres a sexy chick

**Meta Ridley** · 03-21-2005, 11:34 AM

**The Adult Broker** · 03-21-2005, 11:38 AM

Originally posted by GigaChris

Heres a sexy chick

Heh, Big Smile, and a giggle. ;)

**The Adult Broker** · 03-21-2005, 11:39 AM

Meta, Those pics aren't making me laugh, they give me the willy's.

**GigaChris** · 03-21-2005, 11:40 AM

okay 1 more

**vicki** · 03-21-2005, 11:41 AM

**Babagirls** · 03-21-2005, 11:44 AM

**Babagirls** · 03-21-2005, 11:47 AM

**Doc911** · 03-21-2005, 11:51 AM

thse are old but still crack me up.

**Jimmy Rock** · 03-21-2005, 11:53 AM

nothing funny to say today, keep your post cominng need some chearing up

**who** · 03-21-2005, 11:53 AM

some of those pics were fucking funny!! I even laughed OUT LOUD .. wooooooo

**who** · 03-21-2005, 11:54 AM

here's something funny.

I am kewl

GET IT?

**Manowar** · 03-21-2005, 11:54 AM

Originally posted by Chio The Pirate

**abyss_al** · 03-21-2005, 11:56 AM

not sure if you remember abyss_vee from white lotus a few months ago....

**Doc911** · 03-21-2005, 11:58 AM

Q: What do a hurricane, a tornado and a redneck divorce all have in common?
A: Someones about to lose a trailer house

Q: How do you pick up a chick in Arkansas?
A: Yell, "Hey Baby Nice Tooth!"

Q: Whats the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies?
A: Hey Ya'll..... Watch this!

**Topbuxom Lea** · 03-21-2005, 12:00 PM

Siamese Lesbians

**Varius** · 03-21-2005, 12:00 PM

Here are some random Family Guy quotes...their humor may be partially lost in print, and if you're not a fan of the show

Peter: NOOOO! Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids. Damn Longears, trying to take Easter away from Jesus. Anyway, what was that you were saying?

Peter: Listen Lois, I know you're a feminist and I think that's adorable, but this is grown-up time and I'm the man.

[Brian has just peed on a Supermarket floor.]
Peter: Jeez Brian, where do you think you are, Payless?

Peter: Wow, is that really the blood of Christ?
Preacher: Yes, it is.
Peter: Holy crap, that guy must've been wasted 24 hours a day.

Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you, very homosexually.

Brothers and sisters fighting is as natural as a white mans dialogue in a Spike Lee movie.

Peter: We love the Bible in this house.
Francis Griffin: Really. What's your favorite book of the Bible?
Peter: Uhhhhh... the book where Jesus swallows the puzzle piece and the man in the yellow hat has to take him to the hospital.

Peter: Ok, here's another riddle. A woman has two children. A homicidal murderer tells her she can only keep one. Which one does she let him kill?
Brian: That's... that's not a riddle. That's ... that's just terrible.
Peter: Wrong, the ugly one!

Peter: Have they ever shown him doing somebody in and then feeding on him?
Brian: You're asking if they've ever done a Sesame Street in which the Count kills somebody and then sucks their blood for sustenance.
Peter: Yeah.
Brian: No, they've never done that.

Dennis Miller: I don't wanna go on a RANT here but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowolf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first Battle of Antetum. I mean when a neo-conservative defenstrates it's like Raskalnakov filibuster dioxymonohydrostinate.
Peter: What the hell does RANT mean?

Peter: Make like Siamese twins and split ... and then one of you die.

Lois: A flight attendant? Wow, that does sound exciting. What made you change your mind?
Peter: Just my desire to see you happy.
Lois: Aww .... (hugs peter)
Peter: And to exploit your hard labour for free travel and fun.
Lois: What?
Peter: Shhh ... I didn't say anything. Go to sleep crazy lady.

Cop Radio: We have a gang shooting on 3rd and Main. Three wounded, one dead.
Brian: Is it just me or is rap getting lazier?

Meg: Dad, if I don't get my driver's license, I'll never have any boyfriends, I'll never get married and I'll have to adopt a kid like Rosie O'Donnell.
Peter: Meg ... are you implying that Rosie O'Donnell cant drive?

**jawanda** · 03-21-2005, 12:01 PM

Baba I like those pics a lot ... the nun and the nigga please both got me going

-P

**LaurieX** · 03-21-2005, 12:03 PM

**SmokeyTheBear** · 03-21-2005, 12:03 PM

**SmokeyTheBear** · 03-21-2005, 12:07 PM

**SmokeyTheBear** · 03-21-2005, 12:09 PM

**boner 2.0** · 03-21-2005, 12:09 PM

I killed robocop:

**The Adult Broker** · 03-21-2005, 12:11 PM

Originally posted by Babagirls

this one took me a minute then I laughed out loud

**SmokeyTheBear** · 03-21-2005, 12:12 PM

**TexasDreams** · 03-21-2005, 12:20 PM

Looks Like Lensman has been pumping more than just iron.

**Juicy D. Links** · 03-21-2005, 12:23 PM

Originally posted by abyss_al

not sure if you remember abyss_vee from white lotus a few months ago....

**Juicy D. Links** · 03-21-2005, 12:25 PM

Originally posted by TexasDreams

Looks Like Lensman has been pumping more than just iron.

**Stewie** · 03-21-2005, 12:28 PM

**The Adult Broker** · 03-21-2005, 12:39 PM

Originally posted by Stewie

considering I just made cookies last night, and it wasn't near as funny as this pic. heh!

loved the lensman and abyss ones too.

fun fun

**Suzette** · 03-21-2005, 12:56 PM

Actual Webs from Spiders Under the Influence:

**The Adult Broker** · 03-21-2005, 01:00 PM

Originally posted by Stewie

toooo funny, look at the one in the oven.

**ElvisManson** · 03-21-2005, 01:23 PM

"If you're working on a holiday, you might be a Webmaster." It's a simple statement reminiscent of redneck comedian Jeff Foxworthy. I've always wondered in amazement at how a guy could make a career out of "you might be a redneck" jokes ? but you gotta give Foxworthy some credit: he came up with a catch-phrase that stuck, and he ran with it.

So, how do you know if you're a Webmaster? Without further ado, here's my tribute to Jeff Foxworthy

? If you have to remove old AIM contacts before you can add new contacts, you might be a Webmaster.
? If an "insertion order" is not something you give to a hooker, you might be a Webmaster.
? If your ISP is on your speed dial, you might be a Webmaster.
? If you have more email addresses in your cell phone than phone numbers, you might be a Webmaster.
? If your cell phone requires two hands to use it, you might be a Webmaster.
? If you actually READ your spam, you might be a Webmaster.
? If you don't like getting phone calls from the 561 area code, you might be a Webmaster.
? If you can't match up real people with their screen names in your Buddy List, you might be a Webmaster.
? If you don't email to MSN or Hotmail, you might be a Webmaster.
? If you've ever had 10 or more Gmail invites to give away, you might be a Webmaster.
? If you don't think "Spamhaus" is a German luncheon meat shrine, you might be a Webmaster.
? If you spend thousands of dollars and travel hundreds of miles for a conference, but are too hungover to make the sessions, you might be a Webmaster.?

**The Adult Broker** · 03-21-2005, 02:13 PM

Originally posted by ElvisManson

"If you're working on a holiday, you might be a Webmaster." ? If you spend thousands of dollars and travel hundreds of miles for a conference, but are too hungover to make the sessions, you might be a Webmaster.?

LOL

**Babagirls** · 03-21-2005, 03:44 PM

looks like a few of us could make ya laugh, glad you got cheered up

**GFYeveryone** · 03-21-2005, 03:51 PM

Originally posted by GigaChris

okay 1 more

sooooooooooooooo cute!!!

**The Adult Broker** · 03-21-2005, 03:55 PM

Originally posted by Babagirls

looks like a few of us could make ya laugh, glad you got cheered up

yep sure did, I definitely got some good laughs today and i'll let u know who made me laugh the hardest tomorrow morning

last call for laughs...I'm ready...

**The Adult Broker** · 03-21-2005, 07:06 PM

anyone from the night crew have a funny pic?

I'm pushing for one more laugh today

**khs** · 03-21-2005, 07:18 PM

Two lobsters are in a tank when one lobster turns to the other and says "hey do you know how to drive this thing?!??!!?!"

**khs** · 03-21-2005, 07:20 PM

one more:

What do you do with an elephant that has 3 balls????

Walk him and pitch to the rhino.

Can you make me laugh? CONTEST

Can you make me laugh? CONTEST

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