DWB

My apartment in Thailand is pretty nice. Ocean view, daily maid service, modern furnished room, swimming pool and such. My maid knocks on the door every day around 2pm. If I ignore her she will come in and see I am there and ask if I want her to clean. I tell her no and kick her out. Most days though I will get up and just tell her to give me clean towels.

Today she knocked on the door and came in. She did this because yesterday I told her to clean the room today... so here she is. I'm in bed recovering from an al nighter with one of my favorite whores and a 50mg pill of Penegra (generic Viagra). She comes in, cleans the bathroom and then comes into my room where either A) she did not see me or B) she is the dumbest cunt in the world. Now she see my shorts, and I am watching her, so she picked them up and goes for the pocket taking out my cash and begins to count it. I make a "eh-um" sound and she panics and puts it back, saying she is sorry.

At this point I'm up and at it with her. She continues with the sorry routine and that she was counting it for no reason. I told her I was going to speak to the owner and at this point she starts grabbing at my cock, offering her body and services to me. I'm already at 82% wood from the leftover pill and the grab ass game she is playing, so I drop my shorts and she goes to work. A shitty BJ but what am I to expect, she is a maid. Only now she is a maid with bad tasting sperm in her mouth.

When she was done, I walked down and got the owner. The maid at this time is in full panic mode and comes up with a great story: "The money was falling out of the pocket of the shorts so I counted it to make sure it was all there."

Good story except I had to explain to the Thai owner that there was no reason for her to count it, unless she know how much was there. This conversation went back and forth for 30 minutes and neither of them could comprehend what I was saying or the logic to her story. The owner had the audacity to ask me why I did not keep my money in the safe. "Probably because I was IN the room" I snapped at her.

So now I am getting nowhere and it has turned from her being a thief to her looking out for me and partly my fault for not keeping my money in the room safe. But this is Thailand and what am I to expect from a country who will ask you if you need a taxi while your in another taxi.

I took all the spare keys to the room, am having the locks changed and made new rules for the maids. Unless there is a waterfall from the room above or fire in my room, nobody and I mean NOBODY comes in when I am not there. Anyone I catch in the room WILL get their ass kicked... man, woman or child. This logic they understood and quickly handed me the keys.

Fucking Thailand. Fucking maids. Fucking motobike taxis. And this fucking knock-off Viagra is making my head hurt. I'm going back to bed.