I had a good time at the show itself (Thanks to YNOT Bob and D$ for coming through with some really fun events), however, I despise that hotel. I despised it last year when the infamous "heat lamp debacle" occured, but I will spare you that.
The hotel decided to hand out rules for the porn guest. I updated my blog with a few:
http://www.midgetarmy.com/2006/06/12...nstar-luggage/
http://midgetarmy.com/
Kona Kai in San Diego refuses to carry pornstar luggage.
So this weekend, San Diego?s Kona Kai hotel played host to an adult show. Show was a pretty good time, but the hotel lived up to it?s terrible reputation. They made us all sign rules before we registered.
Lets go over a few.
the destruction of property not your own will not be allowed and can result in your immediate arrest. Urination or defecation in public is obviously forbidden.
I totally understand this rule, however, if you don?t want people ?defecating in public,? lets make sure that the toilettes inside the rooms are working. My toilette was down and out for a few hours on Saturday. I have to admit, if it had been a bit nicer outside, I may well have taken a dump in the Marina.
So, rule 1 is that your toilettes, along with general plumbing works.
When I check in, please tell me where my room is, especially when the rooms are a mile away and located in buildings that are not even under the same brand name as the original hotel. Train the golf cart staff to ?pick up people that look frustrated hauling luggage around a big ole parking lot.?
If you have to, talk to me like I am stupid. But don?t just throw down a map of rooms and waive me on just to get me out of your hair. Have someone show me to my room. You can even do this in groups.
I was with a few people at check in, most notable Naughty Allie.
Hard to believe, but you had a bunch of dudes with golf carts hanging out chatting it up and none of them wanted to take the initiative to help Naughty Allie get her luggage to her room.
What a bunch of fucking numbskulls. You would think I would be complaining that these dudes did nothing but cater to the hot girls all weekend, leaving me out in the cold. But no, they were too lazy to even try to take the one opportunity in their lives to carry pornstar luggage.
I see pornstars all the time. I still carry pornstars shit around.
Dude, if you are too lazy to help a pornstar get her luggage to her room, kill yourself.
Just because you are located upon a gorgeous marina, it does not mean that every guest that dines in at your hotel restaurant is there to watch the sun set. Particularly the ones that come in at lunchtime.
If I come in for lunch, I should not have to sit there for 5 hours waiting for chicken quesadillas and a side salad. Furthermore, don?t take the order and then just milk carton your staff. At least come out and say ?the cheese is being purchased. ?..
?in Switzerland.?
Have some respect; many of us bring our girlfriends to eat with us. If you keep us their for 5 hours waiting for food, we have to listen to all kinds of crap beyond ?where is the food?? They start coming up with new ideas like ?we should get a new couch....we should start taking dance lessons....we should do more couples thing....my clock is ticking?.I don?t think we should watch Lakers games every Sunday...You don?t think she is hot do you? ...etc??
Oh, and here is a little note: People always want a refill on water! You don?t have to come over and interrupt my conversation to ask me if I want more water. The body is made up primarily of water, if it runs out, I die. God only knows, I want to be alive when the chicken quesadillas make it.
Do not attempt to help anyone under the age of 21 gain access to alcohol... if you drink alcoholic beverages, then drink responsibly. Enough said.
Look assholes, it took nearly an hour to get a drink in your lounge bar. I doubt highly that anyone under 21 would try to gain access to such hell. Trust me, the under 21 crowd knows where they can get better service, I doubt you make the list of ?fun places to go drink...?
public nudity or lewd public conduct will not be tolerated at SHOW. Even though this is a private adult industry event, attendees are not above the law. Attendees must not violate any California state laws regarding public nudity or lewd behavior. Even brief public flashing may result in your arrest or expulsion from the event, so please, lets keep this event professional at all times.
Don?t playa hate. Your hotel sucks. No hot chick is going to flash there.
Note to hotel: Hot bitches only flash tits at fun places; your hotel could barely entertain a Dungeons and Dragons convention.
You guys have some ego. This is like Circuit City making a rule that they will not tolerate ?female customers hitting on staff or ?getting all lezzy? in the microdrive aisle.
please do not leave any sexually explicit marketing materials lying around in public places. Care should also be taken when using laptop computers to display explicit content.
Nigga please, the only reason I would bring a glass dildo to the lounge would be to use it to beat one of your wait staff in the head with it for not getting me my quesadillas.
Here is a little something for hotels to keep in mind as well. We sell porn to consumers, that doesn?t mean we need to take a shit on your lawn assholes. You sell more porn every month with Pay Per View than any of us do in a year, yet I don?t see your hotel staff out shitting on the lawn.
Well, that is it for today. I have to get ready for my salsa class.
Thanks Kona Kai.