Best excuse to get out of jury duty???

**NaughtyRob** · 03-08-2005, 09:17 PM

I posted this about a year ago, prepared to be flamed.

**Spunky** · 03-08-2005, 09:17 PM

That I'm a skinhead that worships satan

**Barefootsies** · 03-08-2005, 09:18 PM

What excuses have you guys used before that worked?

Family members have been incarcirated.
I'm part of the (fill in your state) militia.
I'm in the adult pornography business.

All seem to work.

**sonofsam** · 03-08-2005, 09:25 PM

you : oh.... john smith is on trial?? NIIIIIICE you guys mind if we catch up a little before trial?

**pornguy** · 03-08-2005, 09:26 PM

The my brother was framed and put in jail always works for me,

**Robatolla** · 03-08-2005, 09:29 PM

tell them you don't trust a police occifers testimony!!!(worked for me!)

**CDSmith** · 03-08-2005, 09:30 PM

Off the record, my answer would be: every time you're asked a question during jury selection you dart your eyes back and forth, from side to side like you're desparately trying to think up a lie.

On the record, dude it's your civic duty. Suck it up.

**Robatolla** · 03-08-2005, 09:32 PM

Iwas going to be picked as an alternate!I said

**Robatolla** · 03-08-2005, 09:33 PM

and i really don't trust their testimony?

**Barefootsies** · 03-08-2005, 09:34 PM

Tell them it's unconstitutional to have to pay taxes and then start ranting incoherantly to yourself.

Otherwise show up in army fatigues.

**boner 2.0** · 03-08-2005, 09:38 PM

"I'm under drug influence"

Don't try this one

**mistress69** · 03-08-2005, 09:39 PM

tell them u hate black folks

**baddog** · 03-08-2005, 09:42 PM

They pay you $50 a day? They only pay $5 here in CA.

Just tell them you are self-employed and it would be a financial hardship

**sonofsam** · 03-08-2005, 09:42 PM

tell them you have to ask for permission from your cousins in the middle east

**Sparks** · 03-08-2005, 09:42 PM

Go in reading some John Grisham book, tell em you believe in the death penalty and you think they should get the chair

**Kevsh** · 03-08-2005, 09:59 PM

1. Say you hate cops "coz y'all know they karrupt"
2. Stand up and court, look at the defendent and say confidently "He looks guilty!"
3. "I'm a professional psychic ... I know he is guilty already"
4. Get a temporary swastika tattoed on your forehead (wear a hat outside the courtroom though)
5. Say you think the death penalty should be adminstered in the courtroom right after a guilty verdict
6. For women, tell them you may be pregnant. If they press you on it, say "well, I've had 18 partners in the last month without using protection." Then look up to the judge, wink, and say "hi sweety!"
7. Tell them that you get aroused by being seated close to other people. Then nervously twitch a little, blush, look around and put your hands on your crotch.
8. Fart. Loudly and frequently and obviously. Congratulate yourself. Then after someone takes offense look to the person beside you on the panel and say "good one, buddy!"
9. Wear a "Free Charles Manson" t-shirt
10. As soon as you show up, curl your sweater or jacket into a ball and use it as a pillow. After shifting around a few times in obvious discomfort, leap out of the juror box, onto the prosecutor's table, calmly and casually move their briefcases, sheets and coffee out of the way and then lay down right across the table.

**Odin88** · 03-08-2005, 10:03 PM

Originally posted by baddog

They pay you $50 a day? They only pay $5 here in CA.

Just tell them you are self-employed and it would be a financial hardship

Exactly, tell them $50 a day wouldn't cover your hosting bills for a month, and that it would put you in a very difficult situation trying to maintain the business you worked hard to build. Most likely semi-true and I think it would be good grounds for them to let you off (if you put it the right way).

**Yo Adrian** · 03-08-2005, 10:05 PM

I got out of it twice by claiming financial distress.. don't think that works anymore though

**shuki** · 03-08-2005, 10:05 PM

My dog ate my homework

**Rochard** · 03-08-2005, 10:06 PM

Simple. Return the form with a short letter explaining that you are a porngrapher, and that you don't believe you have the morals and values required. They'll take you off the list.

**Love Brokers** · 03-08-2005, 10:07 PM

I told them I did not trust lawyers and tht I truly believe the justice system in this country is corrupt!

**hydro** · 03-08-2005, 10:08 PM

play the white trash redneck card, works everytime

**OzMan** · 03-08-2005, 10:12 PM

Originally posted by Odin88

Exactly, tell them $50 a day wouldn't cover your hosting bills for a month, and that it would put you in a very difficult situation trying to maintain the business you worked hard to build. Most likely semi-true and I think it would be good grounds for them to let you off (if you put it the right way).

Yup I was gonna go with this one because it's the truth, just wanted other possibles that might work better.

Civic duty is cool but keeping the money coming in takes priority.

Thanks for the ideas

especially your list Kevsh

**OzMan** · 03-08-2005, 10:13 PM

Originally posted by Yo Adrian

I got out of it twice by claiming financial distress.. don't think that works anymore though

oh really.... hmmm time to rethink

**rickholio** · 03-08-2005, 10:15 PM

God help any of us if we ever are dragged before a jury to stand trial... 'cuz the only ones in the jury box would be either a) the zealous types or b) people too stupid to get out of jury duty.

Edit: ... or people for whom $50/day would be a raise.

**escorpio** · 03-08-2005, 10:16 PM

Tell them you're looking forward to locking up some negroes.

**xlogger** · 03-08-2005, 10:17 PM

Ok i will try this..

"I got anal herpes, i dont want to spread it"

Best excuse to get out of jury duty???

Best excuse to get out of jury duty???

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