I will remove the tire (flats happen) from my fiber glass chair rim and repeatably yet accidentally (I've developed alzheimer's) run over LC's toes in Florida until he falls to the ground and then in a show of sympathy to the world and to check on what remains of his feet I will back up numerous times over his fingers until all that is left is small stubs of ground finger meat.
I will then scrap off what is stuck to my chair and forward the remains to whatever family claims him COD of course, insured for 50k.
Just sponsor my trip to Florida.
