50 things guys wish girls knew......

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  • slavdogg
    Confirmed User
    • Jan 2001
    • 3570

    #1

    50 things guys wish girls knew......

    i normally dont pass these emails, but this one is funny
    i know GFYers will like it


    --
    50 things guys wish girls knew......


    1. If you want to cuddle after sex go buy a teddy bear.


    2. Swallow. Don't start the race if you ain't gonna finish it.


    3. While giving a hand job please remove all rings from your fingers,
    they hurt really bad.


    4. Shave your shit. Seriously, shave it bald.


    5. Remember that a little blood never hurt nobody.


    6. There is no such thing as a fat, ugly, blow job.


    7. If you ask us to any sort of dance that requires that we wear a
    tie, we expect a sexual favor in return.


    8. If you used a vibrator and let us watch it might be the greatest
    moment of our life.


    9. If you wonder why we will not eat you out it is most likely
    because; it stinks, its hairy, or it stinks and its hairy.


    10. You masturbate and we know it. When you do it just let us watch.


    11. Birth control is the best invention ever. Start poppin those bitches.


    12. Just cause we call you when we are drunk does not mean that we
    like you. It means that we need some ass.


    `13. Guys night out means guys night out. It doesn't mean that you and
    your friends meet us at the bar later.


    14. If you wonder why your ass looks fat in those tight pants its
    because you have a fat ass.


    15. If you are with us and you start to cry for any reason just get up
    and leave.


    16. Don't think that we don't know that after we take you out and you
    order a salad to make us think you eat healthy that you go home and
    order pizza with your fat friends.


    17. Once again, seriously shave your shit.


    18. Just cause you get our dick one night, does not give you any right
    to get it the next.


    19. If we drink too much, we do not need someone to hold our hair back
    and act like our babysitter. We have puked before and know how to
    handle it.


    20. After we are through with you, do not expect to make us jealous by
    fucking our friends. We really don't care what you do.


    21. If we cheat on you and you never find out about it, then its not cheating.


    22. If we cheat on you and you do find out, at least it wasn't with
    one of your friends.


    23. Swallow(just in case you forgot #2 already).


    24. We don't have a problem with watching chick flicks as long as we
    get in your pants after.


    25. Never under any circumstance take a shit while you are around us
    or fart. Just thinking about it makes us sick.


    26. While giving us head don't be afraid to fondle our testicles, they
    don't bite.


    27. If you are gonna jerk us off aim properly, a nut can irritate your eye.


    28. Always remember that men are the superior sex and back in the day
    you had to ask us if you could speak.


    29. If we're about to have sex and we decline because we don't have a
    rubber its not because we're scared we're gonna get you pregnant, its
    that we're scared we're gonna catch something from your dirty skank
    ass.


    30. If you swallow like you should, do not expect us to kiss you
    after. Sorry that's just the way it is.


    31. I don't care if you do have a flavored condom, you just don't give
    a blow job with a condom on. Would you like us to eat you out with a
    dental damn?? I didn't think so.


    32. If we're doing it doggy style there is no reason to turn around
    and look at us, we're focused on your ass cheeks and that slapping
    sound.


    33. Blood stains on our bed sheets come off with cold water, so make
    sure you scrub them thoroughly before leaving.


    34. When we go down on you to munch on your rug and we instantly start
    sucking on the inner thighs rather than the clit, its because your
    clit smells like a dead trout.


    35. If you let us donkey punch you we will owe you for life.


    36. Just cause we have sex with you when we are drunk does not mean
    that you are pretty or that we like you. It means that you were our
    only choice.


    37. If we dance with you for more than 15 minutes at a bar we expect
    you to come home with us.


    38. If you think that you are ugly, we probably do too.


    39. Don't count on us saying we love you, its just not going to happen.


    40. If for some reason we do say we love you its only because we want
    to have sex immediately after we say it.


    41. Just cause you have our phone number doesn't mean we want you to
    call us. If we want to talk then we will call you.


    42. If you invite us over to watch a movie it would be awesome if we
    watched a porn instead of a movie.


    43. If you can't dance then you most likely suck in bed. So stop
    trying to dance and start having more sex.


    44. Hmmmmm......girls in thongs.......yummmmmmmmmm


    45. If you are fat the only way you are going to get anywhere in life
    is to give great blow jobs. Sorry that's just the way it is.


    46. A sure way to keep a guy around for awhile is to have anal sex
    with him. We can't put into words how it feels.


    47. You don't have to ask our permission to make out with another
    chick. Just do it but make sure we are there to watch.


    48. In case you didn't read #4 and #17 let me repeat...Shave your shit!


    49. Guys don't have sex or make love, we fuck.


    50. You can impress us if you can swallow our entire load without
    dripping or wiping your mouth afterwards.
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  • pornstar2pac
    Omaha Hi/Lo
    • Nov 2003
    • 17380

    #2
    only 50? let's see 50 more
    Trump haters gonna hate. that's all they can do

    Comment

    • TKoProductions
      Confirmed User
      • Mar 2004
      • 673

      #3
      damn that's hilarious, I busted up when I reached #17.

      Comment

      • bluff
        Too lazy to set a custom title
        • Jan 2004
        • 6253

        #4
        hahahaha

        Comment

        • reynold
          Too lazy to set a custom title
          • Oct 2002
          • 51271

          #5
          Hahaha. Funny and informative stuff.

          Comment

          • rollinOn20s
            Confirmed User
            • Nov 2004
            • 2006

            #6
            Oh My God. Funniest thread I have ever seen in my life. They kept getting better as the list went on. The Donkey Punch one was my favourite.
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            Comment

            • Peter Romero
              Long time no happy ending
              • Feb 2003
              • 10604

              #7
              Yup... glad my GF doesn't post here anymore... avoiding a fight.


              [email protected]

              See them all here: https://www.Petergirls.com

              Comment

              • xclusive
                Too lazy to set a custom title
                • Apr 2004
                • 35218

                #8
                great list

                I support MediumPimpin.com / Shemp's Outlawtgp.com /


                Comment

                • Pornwolf
                  Drunk and Unruly
                  • Jan 2002
                  • 22712

                  #9
                  Yah, 50 is a keeper.
                  I've trusted my sites to them for over a decade...

                  Webair, bitches.

                  Comment

                  • TheEbonyFelony
                    Confirmed User
                    • Jun 2003
                    • 1964

                    #10
                    phpppppp
                    no you cannot know what im promoting you nosey fucks!

                    Comment

                    • foxxx
                      Confirmed User
                      • Jun 2002
                      • 573

                      #11
                      nice very nice :D

                      Comment

                      • slipkid
                        Confirmed User
                        • Feb 2004
                        • 791

                        #12
                        Awesome stuff!


                        Tons of porn sites
                        Sell Adult products on your sites

                        Comment

                        • crackerboy
                          Confirmed User
                          • Sep 2002
                          • 1462

                          #13
                          BEst shit i ever read man thanks
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                          Comment

                          • flashfire
                            ICQ 1 6 7 8 5 3 4 9 2
                            • Feb 2003
                            • 13098

                            #14
                            some pretty good ones on that list

                            Comment

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