Parents!!! Dangerous Toy Alert - GoFuckYourself.com

-=HUNGRYMAN=- · 05-13-2002, 08:59 PM

FREEHOLD, IOWA - "Veggie Tales is not Christian!" yelled Pastor Deacon Fred as he burst into the Landover Baptist Baby Jesus Day Care Center last Friday afternoon. He was followed by four deacons who kicked veggie toys out from the hands of youngsters and smashed them to pieces. "Now gather up what's left of that trash and BURN IT!" Deacon Crenshaw told the children. Throughout the day, the deacons visited upon other day care centers around the church campus until all traces of veggie toys were eliminated from church property. Then it was off to the homes of church members with children to finish the Lord's business by ridding the community of filth.

Since it's inception, Veggie Tales has been getting rich by lining their pockets with Christian money. Recently however, their true intentions were revealed. With the release of "Larry, The Singing and Dancing Cucumber" toy just a few weeks ago, it's become quite clear that the Veggie Tales Corporation is involved in a more sinister agenda. Either that, or they just hired an army of priests and homosexuals to head their product development team. Christian experts believe that, like Mr. Potato Head, this could be yet another attempt by liberals to force their evil "tolerance" into True Christian homes. Larry the Dancing Cucumber could be even more dangerous than Mr. Potato Head since it comes with a "choking hazard" clearly printed on the outside of the box. "The choking hazard is a direct acknowledgement that the Veggie Tales Corporation believes that a child will be naturally inclined to place the toy into his or her mouth,? said Pastor Deacon Fred. ?It?s unbelievable that a so-called Christian company would stoop to this level of depravity.?

"We don't want to state the obvious here," said Pastor Deacon Fred at a recent press conference. "To put it simply, we're concerned that a battery operated cucumber is being marketed to young children. We just think it's in poor taste for a Christian organization to put such a product on the shelf." In reviews of the product, the secular media jokes, "adults enjoy the toy even more than their children." Landover Baptist Church issued a public statement during their press conference urging other Christians around the country to stop purchasing Veggie Tales products until the company that manufactures the toy issues a formal apology to loyal Christian consumers.

Creation Scientists at Landover Baptist have opened up a formal investigation into the Veggie Tales Corporation. "It's not just the dancing green penis that we are concerned about," said Dr. Jonathan Edwards, "The Veggie Tales corporation is watering down scripture and promoting a lack of respect for the sanctity of God's Holy Word by producing videos where a talking head of lettuce with a New York accent skips through uncomfortable Bible passages in order to make a story more appealing to children." Pastor Deacon Fred explained, "Now, we're all for getting kids saved and indoctrinated, but some Christian psychologists tell me that the children who watch these videos believe that when they arrive at the Pearly Gates, they'll be greeted by a talking tip of asparagus who will usher them into an eternity run by a giant tomato and a thousand pieces of flying celery. . . and then there's that dancing cucumber. If they made that vegetable the devil, we might not be as concerned.

GTS Mark · 05-13-2002, 09:04 PM

Can anyone give me the cliff notes on this joke, it is way too long!

DH

Fletch XXX · 05-13-2002, 09:05 PM

^R3K^ · 05-13-2002, 09:08 PM

Funny shit....

On the other note, i have 3 veggie tales movies in home.. and no kids

hyper · 05-13-2002, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DrinkingHard
Can anyone give me the cliff notes on this joke, it is way too long!

DH

http://www.bigidea.com/videos/veggietales/

Zebra · 05-13-2002, 09:16 PM

Hey Man - Silly Songs With Larry Rocks

Fletch XXX · 05-13-2002, 09:17 PM

Veggie Tales? Sounds frightenly painful before even clicking then again my mind is usually where ti should not be, then again, I just finished reading my favorite book for the 33rd time.

-=HUNGRYMAN=- · 05-13-2002, 09:19 PM

OK ... here is the picture version for all you fucking lazy illiterates!!

hyper · 05-13-2002, 09:19 PM

http://www.bigidea.com/videos/veggie...016/clip01.htm

^R3K^ · 05-13-2002, 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zebra
Hey Man - Silly Songs With Larry Rocks

True that...

Who has heard the "Comb Song".. or the lip one... ;-)

Krutoy · 05-13-2002, 09:22 PM

that is harsh.......

Nina · 05-13-2002, 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ^R3K^

True that...

Who has heard the "Comb Song".. or the lip one... ;-)

holy shit! (bad pun)... I LOVE the "Comb Song"!

I think I'm going to have to get one of those battery-powered Larry's!

^R3K^ · 05-13-2002, 09:29 PM

Yeah, i might pick up one of them for the wife ;-))))

Zebra · 05-13-2002, 09:29 PM

Oh where is my hairbrush?

NetRodent · 05-13-2002, 10:08 PM

Heh... Landover Baptist strikes again. Funny stuff.

Amputate Your Head · 05-13-2002, 10:09 PM

too long....

^R3K^ · 05-13-2002, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zebra
Oh where is my hairbrush?

Yeah thats it ;-)

Hot Tropical Babes · 05-14-2002, 12:48 AM

I love Veggie Tales! My Daughter has alot of the tapes. I especially love the song "Cheese Burger" So freakin CUTE!

Hungry, is this a joke? LOL

DigitalPimpShit · 05-14-2002, 12:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by -=HUNGRYMAN=-
OK ... here is the picture version for all you fucking lazy illiterates!!

I thought Meta was the green penis that sings and dances?

boneprone · 05-14-2002, 12:51 AM

Biggy2 · 05-14-2002, 02:07 AM

talk about good promo items for the big shows..

im surprised these havent already been given away, lol

titmowse · 05-14-2002, 02:14 AM

"On the other note, i have 3 veggie tales movies in home.. and no kids"

fucking perv

chodadog · 05-14-2002, 02:25 AM

Haha!

DPlayMax · 05-14-2002, 02:39 AM

fuck - is this board becoming a family board??

05-13-2002, 08:59 PM	#1
-=HUNGRYMAN=- Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Between your mamma's legs Posts: 4,753	Parents!!! Dangerous Toy Alert FREEHOLD, IOWA - "Veggie Tales is not Christian!" yelled Pastor Deacon Fred as he burst into the Landover Baptist Baby Jesus Day Care Center last Friday afternoon. He was followed by four deacons who kicked veggie toys out from the hands of youngsters and smashed them to pieces. "Now gather up what's left of that trash and BURN IT!" Deacon Crenshaw told the children. Throughout the day, the deacons visited upon other day care centers around the church campus until all traces of veggie toys were eliminated from church property. Then it was off to the homes of church members with children to finish the Lord's business by ridding the community of filth. Since it's inception, Veggie Tales has been getting rich by lining their pockets with Christian money. Recently however, their true intentions were revealed. With the release of "Larry, The Singing and Dancing Cucumber" toy just a few weeks ago, it's become quite clear that the Veggie Tales Corporation is involved in a more sinister agenda. Either that, or they just hired an army of priests and homosexuals to head their product development team. Christian experts believe that, like Mr. Potato Head, this could be yet another attempt by liberals to force their evil "tolerance" into True Christian homes. Larry the Dancing Cucumber could be even more dangerous than Mr. Potato Head since it comes with a "choking hazard" clearly printed on the outside of the box. "The choking hazard is a direct acknowledgement that the Veggie Tales Corporation believes that a child will be naturally inclined to place the toy into his or her mouth,? said Pastor Deacon Fred. ?It?s unbelievable that a so-called Christian company would stoop to this level of depravity.? "We don't want to state the obvious here," said Pastor Deacon Fred at a recent press conference. "To put it simply, we're concerned that a battery operated cucumber is being marketed to young children. We just think it's in poor taste for a Christian organization to put such a product on the shelf." In reviews of the product, the secular media jokes, "adults enjoy the toy even more than their children." Landover Baptist Church issued a public statement during their press conference urging other Christians around the country to stop purchasing Veggie Tales products until the company that manufactures the toy issues a formal apology to loyal Christian consumers. Creation Scientists at Landover Baptist have opened up a formal investigation into the Veggie Tales Corporation. "It's not just the dancing green penis that we are concerned about," said Dr. Jonathan Edwards, "The Veggie Tales corporation is watering down scripture and promoting a lack of respect for the sanctity of God's Holy Word by producing videos where a talking head of lettuce with a New York accent skips through uncomfortable Bible passages in order to make a story more appealing to children." Pastor Deacon Fred explained, "Now, we're all for getting kids saved and indoctrinated, but some Christian psychologists tell me that the children who watch these videos believe that when they arrive at the Pearly Gates, they'll be greeted by a talking tip of asparagus who will usher them into an eternity run by a giant tomato and a thousand pieces of flying celery. . . and then there's that dancing cucumber. If they made that vegetable the devil, we might not be as concerned. __________________

05-13-2002, 09:05 PM	#3
Fletch XXX GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: that 504 Posts: 60,840	ouch __________________ Want an Android App for your tube, membership, or free site? Need banners or promo material? Hit us up (ICQ Fletch: 148841377) or email me fletchxxx at gmail.com - recent work - About me

05-13-2002, 09:16 PM	#6
Zebra Banned from Kimmy's couch Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Down at Fraggle Rock Posts: 5,091	Hey Man - Silly Songs With Larry Rocks __________________ Old School

05-13-2002, 09:17 PM	#7
Fletch XXX GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: that 504 Posts: 60,840	Veggie Tales? Sounds frightenly painful before even clicking then again my mind is usually where ti should not be, then again, I just finished reading my favorite book for the 33rd time. __________________ Want an Android App for your tube, membership, or free site? Need banners or promo material? Hit us up (ICQ Fletch: 148841377) or email me fletchxxx at gmail.com - recent work - About me

05-13-2002, 09:19 PM	#8
-=HUNGRYMAN=- Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Between your mamma's legs Posts: 4,753	OK ... here is the picture version for all you fucking lazy illiterates!! __________________

05-13-2002, 09:04 PM	#2
GTS Mark Vrume Mark Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 20,912	Can anyone give me the cliff notes on this joke, it is way too long! DH

05-13-2002, 09:08 PM	#4
^R3K^ Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: North Carolina Posts: 2,815	Funny shit.... On the other note, i have 3 veggie tales movies in home.. and no kids

05-13-2002, 09:19 PM	#9
hyper Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Mass Ass Posts: 5,294	http://www.bigidea.com/videos/veggie...016/clip01.htm __________________

05-13-2002, 09:22 PM	#11
Krutoy Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: newyork Posts: 211	that is harsh.......

05-13-2002, 09:29 PM	#13
^R3K^ Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: North Carolina Posts: 2,815	Yeah, i might pick up one of them for the wife ;-))))

05-13-2002, 09:29 PM	#14
Zebra Banned from Kimmy's couch Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Down at Fraggle Rock Posts: 5,091	Oh where is my hairbrush? __________________ Old School

05-13-2002, 10:08 PM	#15
NetRodent Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: In the walls of your house. Posts: 3,985	Heh... Landover Baptist strikes again. Funny stuff.

05-13-2002, 10:09 PM	#16
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	too long....

05-14-2002, 12:48 AM	#18
Hot Tropical Babes Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Orlando FL Posts: 3,014	I love Veggie Tales! My Daughter has alot of the tapes. I especially love the song "Cheese Burger" So freakin CUTE! Hungry, is this a joke? LOL __________________ <BR> Trade with Big Tits TGP Trade with Titman

05-14-2002, 12:51 AM	#20
boneprone Hall Of Fame Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Portland Oregon USA Posts: 34,415	lol __________________ Industry Hall Of Fame Legend Mike Jones Bow to the Power - Still BP4L http://gfyawards.com/hall-of-fame Learn about it kids.

05-14-2002, 02:07 AM	#21
Biggy2 Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 1,821	talk about good promo items for the big shows.. im surprised these havent already been given away, lol

05-14-2002, 02:14 AM	#22
titmowse Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: TEXAS Posts: 5,320	"On the other note, i have 3 veggie tales movies in home.. and no kids" fucking perv __________________ I still love everybody

05-14-2002, 02:25 AM	#23
chodadog Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 9,736	Haha!

05-14-2002, 02:39 AM	#24
DPlayMax Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Phoenix, Arizona Posts: 699	fuck - is this board becoming a family board?? __________________ The #1 rule of GFY is not to spam other boards. http://www.gofuckyourself.com/gfy_faqs.html