Magnetron

I'm more than willing to post some here and save you the trip.

All you had to do was ask.

__________________
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Magnetron

Sibling Rivalry

Two hundred sixty-five down, one more to go
Before the final stage curtain drops upon on the show
The Prophecies of old are soon to be fullfilled
The vacant throne never again to be filled

The Body of Christ, decapitated
Blindly stumbles as if the walking undead
Grasping wildly for hands, in need of being led
Arms flailing, in search of its human head

Lost is equilibrium
Stolen, the momentum
The hour swiftly approaching
Inevitable change to come

That's when the Daughter of Mary
Steps forth from the cheering crowd
Unsheathing her sword
Without a word spoke aloud
Gripping the hilt of her blade tight
With all of her might
And before her Sisters and God
In the broad of daylight
Deals the deathblow

Blood
Splattering across the snow

Screams
Wizards scrambling in hopes of capturing
Fleeting drops of the red wine in a golden chalice
Sorcerers cower, noses to the dirt in every earthly palace
Angels trumpeting, no longer sing
Choking on the vomit of their own malice

The Maiden continues without remorse
Determined, relentlessly
With brutal rage, violent force
Hacking away at each limb and knee

Leaving nothing to the Body of Christ
Leftover in the slaughter
Exit the stage, Son of God
Now, enter his only Daughter

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Magnetron

Homophobe

Our Heavenly Father is Loving and Just

Obey his laws, you certainly must

For He hath surely condemned
Each and every Homosexual

It clearly states this in my Twentieth Century
Revised Modern English Translation
Of The One And Only Holy Bible

With weapons of mass destruction
Sodom and Gomora were annihilated
Without a single ounce of regret
Or shred of remorse
Every single resident violated
The little known Thirteenth Commandment
Chiseled in stone, communicated to all
Thou Shalt Have Heterosexual Intercourse

Just you nevermind the part of the story
In which the Lord in all his Shining Glory
Ignored Lot's proposal to have his daughters
Gangraped and Sodomited
Or turned his wife to salt
The bitch was deserving, it was her fault
It's crystal clear, no muddy waters here
Nothing for you to get excited

Just you nevermind those other verses
Joe Religionist always insists are properly translated
Obscure words of Leviticus
In which the Almighty clearly mandated
Animal sacrifices to purge your sins
The Death Penalty for disobeying his laws
Toleration of slavery among other things
Try not to focus on these flaws

Homophobe, through my telescope
I see you orbiting the globe
In your linear, cunt twitching
Witchhunting anal probe

What sadistic angel perched on your shoulder
And tugged at your lobe
Filled you brain with such hatred
For the average ordinary everyday Job

It would please us if Mister Jesus
Returned and not a minute too soon
And Raptured those lacking independent thought
To some distant, secluded moon

Let them colonize their own private Heaven
Far away from every normal Christian
Paradise Lost on the edge of the solar system
How nice it would be for us and them

A planet free of homosexuality
To compliment their own warped reality
Like Adam and Eve and all the rest
Who felt that incest was the best

Homophobe, through my telescope
I see you orbiting the globe
In your linear, cunt twitching
Witchhunting anal probe

What sadistic angel perched on your shoulder
And tugged at your lobe
Filled you brain with such hatred
For the average ordinary everyday Job

__________________
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Magnetron

His Name Be Praised

Let his name be praised

His glorious countenance be raised
Up on pillars of onyx and obsidian
Sculpted with devotion
Carved out of care and love
Chiseled with precision

And along with all the above
Most importantly

with Sin

Praise Satan, Praise Satan
Don't you be dissin him
Don't be hatin
He's quite the catch
That you're sister should be datin
For you, he's awaitin, anticipatin

Praise Satan, praise Satan
Embrace He who always managed to take the blame
Praise Satan, praise Satan
For your blasphemies, cursing that flowerchild's name
Praise Satan, praise Satan
That hippy who receives all the attention and fame

To which our Prince of Darkness
Is worthy of his rightful claim

Don't be shy
He's really not such bad guy
Afterall, how many angelic beings do you know
Take the fall, with no questions asked

So, praise him
Say his name twice, chant like a monk
While spinning around counter clockwise
In an upside pentagram
Painted with your own blood

Do it with zest and spunk

Or do it while your fornicatin
Idolatrizing, alduteratin
And to thoroughly please him
For it does thoroughly please him
To say his name when you're

Master of All That Is Wicked
Come forth and reveal your true divinitiy
Take us into your loving arms
Grace us with your hallowed celebrity
Bless us with spells and charms
Hexes that won't lead us into harms way

But most importantly
Along with all of the above
With all of your unconditional Love


Lead us astray

Let the choirboys have a turn at singing his name
PRAISE SATAN, PRAISE SATAN
DON'T YOU BE DISSIN HIM
DON'T BE HATIN
FOR YOU, HE'S AWAITIN, ANTICIPATIN
HE'S QUITE THE CATCH
THAT ANY FATHER WOULD WANT
HIS DAUGHTER TO BE DATIN

PRAISE SATAN, PRAISE HIM

Satan be praised

Amen

__________________
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Magnetron

God Of The Atheists

God

My God

God

Your God

My God is your God

Your God never was

God of the Atheists
I will be the trumpet
As we charge headfirst into battle
Against the False Ones residing in your palace
We shall dethrone their wicked servants
Shouting them into doubt
Letting the peasants cast them out
From the Temples in righteous malice

God of the Atheists
I will be the sword
Slicing open stitched eyelids
Of the nose ringed led masses
Kicking out the walking staffs of shepherds
Denying your existence with Others
A disciple amongst my brothers
Impaling your rose colored glasses

God of the Atheists
I will be the hammer
Battering the foundations of Institutions
Leaving fewer bricks supporting their weight
Caving in the livestock stables
Housing the lambs for the slaughters
Releasing the sons and daughters
To stampede the Church from the State

God of the Atheists
I will be the hound
Hunting the prey in the forest
Praying on their muddied knees
I shall claw away at the base
Of the Tree of Law and Liberty
Tear away the infected roots I see
That are spreading the Disease

God of the Atheists
Know of my devotion
To destroy the gods of others
Superceding your lack of presence
For the greater good of Humanity
I shall send you further into oblivion
Denying you is the only way to win
Let the battle commence!

My God is your God

Your God never was

My God

__________________
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Magnetron

144,000 - 1

One hundred forty-four thousand Daughters and Sons
Graced by the Lord to be the Chosen Ones
Ringing doorbells spreading the Word of God
Recruiting on His behalf seems suspiciously odd

There's something about the math that doesn't add up
Pardon me if I don't care to drink from that cup
Will I really be special if I join in your cult?
And if I don't, will your Master take it as an insult?

You're not the first messenger here that wasn't Heaven sent
I'm not leaving this Earth before my life is spent
I don't care if I'm left behind when the End Times come
I wasn't born here to die for some glossed over kingdom

A hundred forty-four thousand and one minus one
I refuse to believe Jesus was God's only son
I don't buy your salespitch about the world going to Hell
Why don't you find yourself another sucker to sell

And take with you
Your selective quotations from the Book of Revelations
And all your trumpetings of an end to warring nations
Your scare tactics of forecasted Tribulations
And temptations of infinite Jubilations

Because I have a few choice words to say about that

Get away
Get the fuck out of my face
Take your rhetorical literature
And your ill conceived rapture
Some other place

You had your say
Time for you to be on your way
Why don't you do your God a favor
Stop pretending to be a savior
You're more of a disgrace

Be gone with you
If there's more of the Lord's work to do
No rest for the self annointed
Don't be disappointed
When you yourself aren't saved

You heard me right
Think your safe if you're clothed in White?
You better do some more reading
About false prophets and their misleading

That's how the road to Hell is paved

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Magnetron

Great American New Age Novel

There's a girl named Dawn
Waiting to live her life on
A topaz island paradise
In the long anticipated Age of Aquarious
While the Millenium has come and gone
Time kept on marching strong
And life on this rock hurtling through space
It's still just as precarious

Down on your luck?
Wanna make a fast buck?
Just write yourself a New Age book
And you'll make money by the truckload
Sucker born every minute
And if your quick, you can get in on it
I hear it's quite the racket
Not unlike that Davinci Code

Claim anal probing by gray aliens in the night
Came back from the dead
After recruitment by Beings of White Light
Drill a hole in your head
Increasing oxygen feed to the brain
The genius of trepidation
Who would care if you weren't already insane?

Exploit their pain

Sell them fear

They are their own worst enemies
And your best salesman
Especially when you tell them

The End is near

There's a man named Paul
Had a hot date, waited for Jesus to call
To sweep him off his feet
Carry him away in the Ever Loving Rapture
So what went wrong?
Life as usual kept rolling on
Oh, and there was a gaping hole in
The Lord's Metaphysical Net of Soul Capture

So get off your ass
Stop watching reruns of Ugly Betty
You'll kick yourself
For not having not thought of it already
Get hard at work on that Great American New Age Novel
And in no time flat
They'll be on their knees praying, if not groveling
Most importantly of all
Paying you for nothing

Thanks for nothing

__________________
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Magnetron

Cannibalistic Bliss

Wiping away the soaped over windows
Inside, the politicians
Making the fast buck
From your concerns, your woes
With their agendas
Self serving missions
Hear them declaring the shelves empty
In the backrooms of soup kitchens

As the poor
Weak
And tired
Line up outside the door

The hunger, thirst
Gone beyond insatiable
Need to feed
Supercedes any measure of self control
Disenchanted masses
With distended bellies never to be full

Salivating over the prospect of a wishbone

Eyeing the governing body
Like a roasted beast upon a silver platter
The bitter lining of their stomachs swallowed whole
From the inside out

Satin curtains ripped away
The windows shatter
Exposing the great illusionists of our day and age
Revealed for what they truly are
Pigs getting fatter
Hogging all the temple grain
Charletains on a stage

Dragged
Kicking and screaming
Into the audience
Devoured

Torn apart
Limb from limb
By the emaciated
Empowered

Bitten once too often
The hands that fed you bite back
With a deadly kiss

Starved for too long
The people attack
In a rage that can only amount to this

Cannibalistic bliss

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Magnetron

El Bautizar Del Indeseado

A busted Eldorado with Texas plates
Halted under the blistering sun
Somewhere south of the Mexican border

The air conditioning failed
Ninety miles ago on Route 31
And finding a mechanic was in order

Pregnant, the driver found
Sanctuary from the heat instead
Nearby in a quaint little church

And rested her feet and head
On the last row of warped benches
Cobbled together from discarded birch

Exhausted in her flight
From a nameless demon of which
She could never get far enough away

While a couple of perspiring altar boys
Humming Latin hymns to themselves
Swept the floor across the way

Exhausted, wishing for peace of mind
She drifted into a heavy sleep
Of silence except for the voices

That in an unconsciousness void
Lingered onward to keep
Reminding her of her choices

They were chanting
In such a low murmer
That she couldn't make out
A single word

But the more she strained
And listened
The more she swore
She thought she heard
Them saying
Over
And over again
Was

Hatred

Consciousness returned to her throbbing head
Hatred
Hatred
Paralysis faded from where her body was laying
Is that what those voices were saying?

In a tone most ominous and twisted
Hatred
Hatred
Panic consumed her in a stampeding wave
As she realized she was someone else's slave

Her restrained ankles were heavier than lead
Hatred
Hatred
Tight were tethers cutting into her tender wrists
In anger she clenched her trembling fists

The bench was replaced with a stone slab
To which was fastened her bondage ties
While her vision was greeted by silken darkness
Of black velvet draped across her eyes

It was the cruelest of jokes to be played
Then her skin began to freeze ice cold
As she noticed dark figures through the fabric
That's when her terror began to unfold

When calloused fingers removed the veil
She let forth a bloodcurdling scream
For the flowered sundress she had been wearing
Was stained with blood from hem to seam

In the cavern surrounding the makeshfit bed
Hatred
Hatred
Was a gathering of cloaked figures continuing to chant
In oil lamplight around the body of an infant

Witness to what should be forever left unsaid
Hatred!
Hatred!
They dipped the fragile body in a stone bath
Filled to the rim with blood from the aftermath

HATRED!
HATRED!
"Witness the Christening of the Unwanted!"
A hooded man of Spanish descent declared
Over the unborn that she for so many months despaired

She wailed and shrieked, writhed and moaned
And none of them paid her any attention
But instead filed out of the cave of chaos
One by one without a single mention

Of the fact she was being left to be bled to death
Seven feet away from her aborted child
And the more she forced herself to look upon it

The more she saw the infant had smiled

It was no trick of the light that deceived
As red orbs emerged, blinking within the tiny head
Grimacing, it spake in a snarling voice,

Saying, "I am your son, El Dread!

Mommacita, won't you please love me?"
It asked amidst a fit of hideous laughter
"I am yours until your dying day
And I will haunt you forever after!"

The woman stopped short of breathing
Lunging upright in the vacant church
Knocking the wooden benches over
Loud was the thud of stone against birch

The altar boys glanced her way
As the terrified woman raced to the door
Bewildered, they shrugged to themselves
And continued sweeping away at the floor

Behind the wheel of the dusty Eldorado
HATRED
HATRED

Foot firmly on the gas pedal as she sped
HATRED
HATRED

She couldn't clear her mind of the overwhelming
HATRED
HATRED

Shouting voices in every corner of her head
HATRED
HATRED

All that she felt for the thing from her belly was
HATRED
HATRED

For the child that she never ever wanted
HATRED
HATRED

And from out of nowhere
Came a Peterbilt truck
Smashing into the side of the car

She woke up from the blackout
Still drunk on numerous Tequila shots
Her back to the hardwood floor
Of a west Texas honkeytonk bar

And the same damn cattleman as before
Was still urging her to join him
In the backseat of his rusted Eldorado

She shoved him into a crowded table
And stumbled for the nearest exit
Amidst tears crying out
"El Bautizar Del Indeseado!"

A couple of sweating cowboys
Glanced her way in puzzlement
The elder shrugging to his younger brother

Before returning to the task
Of rattling the juke box further
Hoping that the skipping record
Would be replaced with another

__________________
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adultchatpay

I thought i was on songlyrics website or something.

Magnetron

I will take this as a compliment.

__________________
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Magnetron

Night Of The Moonbats

Flapping their wings in ascent towards the Moon
Barking in full force with scratchy throats so hoarse

Screeching liberal laments of a corrupt administration
For seven years having crippled our nation
In a language fouled and obfuscated
Babblings in code more foreign than Morse

Led by a once upon a time United States Marine
Now on the warpath, the attack
Against Americans unopposed to military involvement in Iraq

Shrieking

You are accomplices
Murderers by default
All Nazis living in Holocaust Denial

Freely speeching

Sentiments quite fuzzy and warm
While despite him having more experience
In helping kill Iraqi civilains
Decades prior in Desert Storm

Smile
Flying rodent
Say, Cheese

How convenient you only call attention
To what distracts us from your own hypocrisies

American Zuluism at its purest
Perpetuation of artificial schism
Feigning outrage by barking
Angry shaking of your tiny rodent fist

Flying blind in the mist

Flying blind in the night

In the night

Night of the Moonbats

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Magnetron

The Legend Of Johnny Scarecrow

Minding his own business
John Brown found himself staring
At the business end of a sawed off shotgun

A potato sack drawn over his head
Didn't even know where he was taken
Never even ever had a chance to run

Hung from a cross with his own belt
At his feet stripped bare of shoes
Fire was set to a methodical stacking of wood

In the Autmun chill of twilight's veil
As his flesh did burn and melt
Gargled screams came from behind that makeshift hood

The remains of his body were discovered the day after
By children on a shortcut through the field of corn

Suddenly cut short was their laughter
They had never seen a dead body before
And here it was

That the legend of Johnny Scarecrow was born

Later As Minister Wilkins said a prayer
Widowed Ida Brown shed many a tear
Crying, Black folk shouldn't have to die this way!

Sheriff Anderson knelt at the crime scene
Whispering into the victim's blistered ear,
The law will make those sons of bitches dearly pay!

Wilkins somberly closed the leather bound Bible
His only earthbound treasure
Saying, Leave it to the Lord to deliver justice

For they will know the mighty hand of God
And burn as John did in the wrath of His displeasure
If I promise anything, I promise you this

Onward into evening
Sundown marked another wooden cross
Being firmly planted in the ground

Figures in white garb
Gathered in celebration
Of one less black man living in their town

And the Klan mocked the memory of John Brown

They lit the cross
Laughed
And danced around the flames
Shouting with great pride,
White Power!

That's when a lone figure
Suddenly appeared to the mass
And Johhny Scarecrow slew them all
In the midnight hour

With a razor sharp sickle in hand
Stolen from Farmer Parker's shed
He decapitated their pointy hoods left and right

As they scattered like rats through the corn
The demon with a potato sack on its head
Killed them all one by one in a single night

He slaughtered them in a fury of vengeance
As they ran panic stricken for their lives
Not even with the tiniest sliver of remorse

They shot him with their guns once or twice
Even stabbed him with their knives
At some point he was trampled by a horse

The -

That's not how the story goes!
Little Billy Fitzimmons angrily groaned
Campfire glow illuminating his friends' faces

He was saying, Everyone knows .....
When something in the woods behind them moaned
Sending the children running home at breakneck paces

And the legend of Johnny Scarecrow grew
Around many more campfires throughout the years
Handed down from one generation to the next of kin

Who killed those Klansmen, no one knew
Youngsters speculated amongst their peers
While one man had to live onward with that sin

Years later on his deathbed
Tom Anderson asked the Minister Wilkins
To be present for his final confession

Before he uttered a word
Just then life fled his body
Wilkins sighed and said a final, Amen

Clenched in the Sheriff's hand

The bloodstained potato sack

Evidence that mysteriously dissapeared
From the investigation, never to be found
Like that rusted sickle now hanging in Wilkin's barn

The hand of God was something to be feared
Justice delivered just as promised
And that's how

The legend of Johnny Scarecrow became another yarn

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Alex1776

Response

michael.kickass

I'm speechless.

__________________

whOaKemosabe

you should do blog writing

Magnetron

I wholeheartedly agree with 124% of what 2/3rds of yawl are saying.

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Magnetron

Here's To The Lies

Get down
How low will you go
To stay the execution
Delay the parade from Death Row
To where with the brine soaked skull
When in the moment pivotal
Society cleaves and cooks the meat
From the breastbone of your soul
Will you appeal, insist it wasn't real
By pleading insanity or in an act of vanity
Sign a perverse and cursed Faustian deal
In a pathetic sloughing of whatever ethics
Miserably clinging with lichened fingers
To the rigored conscience that still lingers
And fills your ears with dull ringing

Before your last rites are read
The shroud is pulled over your head
What will you have to say for yourself
That you haven't already said

Before your eyes bulge out of their sockets
And warm urine streams into your pockets
What will you have to say for yourself
That you haven't already said

Will there be honesty?

Will there be regret?

Or more of the same truncated
Obfuscated truth
We haven't heard yet

Sit down
Trial run before the big show
Visualize the racked and tortured faces
The people you've come to know
To whom you don't owe an explanation
For what you continue swearing you never comitted
As the guards with care, measure and tailor
The high voltage suit to be fitted

And the Warden tips his head back
Downs a flask of gin
Saying as he wipes his chin,
Here's to the lies

__________________
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Magnetron

Easy Money, False Prophet

Buddy Christ in stereo
Static on my wavelength
Public relations agent of God
Definately not your greatest strength
Better suited you are
For breaking rocks with a pick axe
As are all self annointed messiahs and hacks

Saviour of souls
You purport yourself to be
Will work for Jesus
Whoring your services for free
With righteousness like Brimstone
Burning white hot fervent
The grand epitome of an indentured servant

You fight tooth and nail
To save only your own skin
From the Hellfires
Meant to cleanse all your sin
Destined to be a crispy critter
Seasoned, roasting on a spit
Give up the Holy Ghost
And just get on with it

To Hell with you

FALSE PROPHET

Give it up, just stop it

To Hell with you

FALSE PROPHET

Give it up, just stop it

We see your deception
As you try to turn a profit
Pawning your sins
In redemptive expectation
As if you ever could command
The power to save us from damnation
Whatever gave you such a ridiculus inclination

Nothing if not subtle
Are your blatant hypocrisies
Turning stomachs and people away
From God towards heresies
You're His own worst enemy
Next to the Lord of Lies, Satan
The irony is, you'll be in good company then

To Hell with you

FALSE PROPHET

Give it up, just stop it

To Hell with you

FALSE PROPHET

Give it up, just stop it
Quit pretending!
The lower you go
The swifter the descending
The fabrications, guilt tactics, the fiction
Exposed with every broadcasted contradiction
Fallen angels like pennies from Heaven
Hit the ground the hardest
After being consumed by the friction

__________________
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CaptainHowdy

pornomatxxx

Yeah! What are going on?

Magnetron

Mwuahahaha

I'll do you one better.

__________________
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Magnetron

Huffing The Dead

Come
Let us be one
Gather around the smoking stack
Utter not a trifle word
Don't turn your back
Shut your eyes

And just breathe

Huff and huff
Each curly wisp and whirly puff
Of what we just can't seem to get enough

Listen

Imagine

As the body
In the furnace below your feet
Begins to crispen

And just breathe

Breathe

Euphorium orgasmic
Crematoriatic
Grey matter charged with static
As millions of dilated
Neuronal receptors in your attic
Can't contain the bliss

Breathe

Breathe

Breathing in the Dead

There's nothing else in the world quite like this

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EddyTheDog

Ignore Damian, he's a twat...

Magnetron

I'm just used him as an excuse to spam.

Could care less what he thinks of my writing.

LOL

__________________
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Magnetron

My apologies to Pope Francis for the next one.

Wrote it before he was elected.

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Magnetron

Dirty Rotten Bums

More power to the people
In toppling the crooked steeple
Launch it like a missile
Use it as a weapon
Aim it at the Vatican
Send a message to the Man
No longer are we taking it
We're sick of them faking it

Hands off the altar boy
He's not for your own personal joy
He's not there to be your sex toy

You dirty rotten bums!

Why don't you admit to your flock
That you enjoy the feel of young cock
While you're in the zone
Condemning the behavior of gays

Why don't you try being honest for a spell
Instead of proclaiming they'll burn in Hell
That they'll rot for all Eternity
For their sinful ways

It's hypnosis

Terminal hypocrisy is the only diagnosis

And if I had a scalpel
I'd cut you out

Cleanse the Church of this disease
Lay my hands on
Cast out every sleaze
That speaketh with a forked tongue

Even though they craveth it up the bung

More power to the people
In toppling the crooked steeple
Send a message to the Man
No longer are we taking it
We're sick of them faking it
And tired of taking it
In the rear

Because those dirty rotten bums refuse
To admit they're queer

__________________
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Magnetron

Sucking Up to God

Your sunburned nose
It's growing an even stranger
Shade of brown

The crucifix you shoulder
Says you're going up
And the word on the street is
That you are going down

The rhetoric you spewed
It fell on my plugged ears
With a deafening sound

Soon, it will be too late
To escape your fate
As the town pariah

Gone ballistic is the masochistic
Messiah with motives far from altruistic
The one who had supposedly come
To save us all from ourselves

Stooping lower than any Devil
Or spice merchant worth his salts
In my eyes, but according to yours
Everyone else has more faults

In a toyroom of porcelain dolls
Compared to you, we fared
No better than Satan's elves

This childish behavior we'd expect
From within the corporate world of
Kiss ass enterprise

Courting favor, adding spice for flavor
Resume padding only takes
A few harmless lies

Selling out your sisters and brothers
Telling gays and unwed mothers
A few harmless lies

Go ahead, nod and tilt your head
Throw out your hands at arm's length
Agree to disagree
But what you did to them
You now recieve tenfold from me

You're just another carpenter
With a sawdust jaw who ran his mouth
And overlooked the fatal flaw
Having built a lordly mansion so opaque

It was transparent as glass

Pardon me while I remove these nails
From those self inflicted wounds

Please, try not to fall flat on your ass

Never were you here to save anyone's soul
Other than your own
Using our backs as a footstep
Carving your way up the totem pole

How in the world did you ever manage
Hammering in the final spike
With only one hand?
I find it curiously odd

Tell me what what is was like
During your Christian Jihad

What was it like
Sucking up to God?

__________________
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Magnetron

After America Let The World Down

Jesus roams the decaying nations
In a fugue of miserable abandon
Performing magic tricks and giving advice
In the manner of St. Michael Landon

Mumbling to himself, he picks his scabs
Amidst the freewheeling anarchy
Engulfing the whole of Europe now
The third largest third world country

As for Buddha, he's just plain bored
While Mohammed blitzkriegs with his sword
Anyone resembling Harrison Ford
Across an America scorched and skored

Americans gasping in a chemical haze
Surrended after only seven days
In one of the greatest passion plays
But a mystery remains unto these days

Historical texts are minus the specific
Details unrecorded in the frenzy frantic
Of how their fighter jets crossed the Pacific
And their tanks floated over the Atlantic

Meanwhile, halfway across the globe

An old man crawls out into the blistering sun
From a cave near the border of Pakistan
Adjusting his turban, scratching his crotch
And clutching a worn out Qu'ran

He stops to chat with a ragged band
Of Christian revolutionaries marching north
The Sons and Daughters of O'Reilly
Curiously led by the George Bush the Fourth

Leeza Rice in brown kakhi looking oh so nice
Points in the direction of Mutherfukhastan
We're off to dismantle nuclear silos
And dethrone another evil wicked madman

Sir, Would you care to join us on our mission
To fight Terror and liberate the downtrodden?
And you'll be in for a treat, for we're certain to find
That elusive fox Bin Laden

Back in a nursing home in the States

Grandpa continues to curse the sky
Asking, Father, why did you forsake my family?
And we could have beat those damn Iraqis
If only we had allied with Qaddafi!

Jehova as a shimmering cloud
Spotlight beams him in the elder crowd
In a booming voice, says very loud,
Even though you were well endowed ...

Moneywise that is ...

Hoss, you're just weren't that special

__________________
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Magnetron

That last one had a typo in it.

Motherfucker.

__________________
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Magnetron

The Circus Is In Town

Turn your painted frown upside down

Before I smack it off your face

Ever since the circus came to town
They're everywhere like cockroaches
Running all over the place

In oversized tennis shoes
Big red rubber balls for noses
Trying to chase away our sorrows and blues
With slapstick antics and silly poses
Attempting to make me laugh

But I choose to not laugh

Because I hate clowns
Yeah, I hate clowns
And if I get the chance

I'll take them down

This is the last straw
There ought to be a law against
People wearing face paint if it's not Halloween
I'd be ashamed if I was a mime, but I ain't
Never will you catch me dressing like a drag queen

Take your mile long hankerchiefs
And your squirting flowers
Stick'em where the sun never shined
If I was a hero with superpowers
I'd eradicate
Every
Single damn one
Of your kind

Because I hate clowns
Yeah, I hate clowns
And If I get the opportunity

I'll get in my car and run them down

Drive right over your polka dotted bodies
Till I hear those annoying bicycle horns
Squeak their final squeaks
Then back up in reverse gear
Run you over a second time
Just to make for certain you're all dead
I wish had a sawed off twelve guage shotgun
To blow off my own head
Every time the circus comes to my home town

Did I tell you recently that I hate clowns?
Yeah, I hate clowns
And if I get my hands on one

I'm gonna wring his filthy neck

And pop his head off like a pimple
Jab a screwdriver right into his painted dimple
Bash him with a mallet
Metal, not a rubber one
Oh, it would be so simple

Die, clowns die!

__________________
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mineistaken

are you on drugs?

Magnetron

Why do you ask?

__________________
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whOaKemosabe

i like weed

Magnetron

The Preacher's Confession

You come to me asking for the Lord's blessing
To cleanse your soul of sins you're now confessing
I myself must confess I'm mystified and truly stumped

I thought I was here to help guide you along
To preach the Word of God and sing His mighty song
Not listen about the neighbor's wife that you humped

Why don't you just keep those details quiet
I'm breaking out in laughter to the point of a riot
Why is it so difficult for you to grasp His beautiful Way?

You are forgiven if you are likewise a forgiving soul
With free will comes a price that takes it's toll
Meanwhile you're free to screw with whomever you lay

Don't give me that familiar old song and dance
About how the Devil won't let you keep it in your pants
And how he is busy luring everyone into strange beds

If you're too weak to resist the Whores of Babylon
You really haven't been listening to me babble on
About how yawl fabricate these excuses in your heads

Why, if I had a dollar for everytime I myself gave in
Well ... Hell, I'd be wealthier than the Vatican
And should spontaneously combust into pillar of hellfire

At the risk of repeating myself once again
Especially regarding affairs with married women or men
You're only tempted by what it is you already desire

If you truly want to do right by the Almighty
You might want to brush up on your Aphrodite
From the Greeks we inherited great tales of forbidden love

I don't think any of those stories ever ended happily
In that era when eternal damnation was common, you see
Jealous lovers were what you should've been more afraid of

Now, if you would please excuse me for a while
I have more pressing matters to attend to and reconcile
Like the choir awaiting me to direct them in a song

And if you know of any other ladies that want to sing
Mrs. Anderson will be in the back room auditioning
My God I think today she's wearing a thong

__________________
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Magnetron

Awwwww, how sweet.

I have a special fan who can't stop talking about me in other threads.

__________________
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Magnetron

Tech Support

You asked me a question

I gave you the answer

What more do you want from me
Tech support is and was always free
There is nothing left that I can give you
Told you everything that I know

Would you like for me to bleed
Would it help fulfill your consumer need
Just say the word, I'll do the deed
Slice my wrists, let the juices flow

Are you through with reaming me
A new asshole, because if you're not
Just say so, I'd like to get myself
A jar of vaseline

What's that you say?
paper crumpling
Maam, your phone is breaking up
more paper crumpling
You need to call back on a clearer channel
even more crumpling of paper
And I hope you end up sucking cock in Hell
crumple paper crumple
No, I didn't say anything of the sort
paper crumple paper
I said,
It sounds like there is a sock over your cell phone
crumple

Are you done chewing off my head?
Like a preying mantis, caught in your mandibles
I struggle just to make it
Till the end of my shift

What more do you want from me
Tech support is and was always free
There is nothing left that I can give you
Not a coupon, nor a free gift

Do you really think I could have it rougher
As if there was more that I could suffer
I'm hanging up now, you whining moaning
Silly stupid fucking idiot

ca-lick

__________________
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Magnetron

Complementing thread started by crockett

http://m2.gfy.com/showthread.php?t=1130166

T.W.A.T.

Welcome friend, countrymen, fellow American
To the the reality of The War Against Terrorism
In a nation divided that is only lately united
By the widening chasm of growing schism

T.W.A.T.
It ain't what it's cracked up to be
It's NOT a valid excuse to occupy any foreign country
You've GOT to open your eyes and realize for yourself
The Reality, the Truth, the Hell
That is
The T.W.A.T.

In case you've forgotten by now, it began with ignorance
Incompetent leaders at the helm of national defense
Budget cuts, under orders, neglect of the borders
Missing boards, gaping holes in the security fence

Rapidly came the one-hundred eighty degree spin
Conveniently after the enemy was allowed to slip in
Along with the global shift in policy and attitude
Eyes kept on the prize, as always kept on the crude

Giving credit where credit is due in this drama
Osama bin Laden, America was gunning for you
Until you were forgotten, almost every Pop and Mama
Believed it was true and why not, Didn't you?

Before Nine Eleven, Afghanistan across the ocean
Was already slated for invasion, plan yet to be set in motion
And in the spirit of Old Glory waved in Patriotic devotion
This was kept hush hush so as to not cause commotion

While a push of the panic button fired up the war machine
Air raid sirens of hysteria blaring what politicians never really mean
Through the smoke, the mirrors, your capitalized fears
Is The War Against Terrorism that remains to be seen

T.W.A.T.
It ain't what it's cracked up to be
It's NOT a valid excuse to occupy any foreign country
You've GOT to open your eyes and realize for yourself
The Shocking and Aweful Truth, the Hell
That is
The T.W.A.T.

Hot on the heals of Osama's newfound accomplice
In search of bombs Saddam's regime supposedly possessed
While scapegoats rocked the boat and confessed
To the faulty data Stated when the Union was Addressed

Anyone who questions the war is labeled a Pacifist
Accused of inviting home the All Purpose Terrorist
While all acts of violence emerging from insurgence
Are blamed on the Universal Militant Islamic Fascist

Bring back the men and women serving in Iraq
That were sent overseas in premeditated attack
As you evoke the name of God in this American Jihad
The body count rises while you turn your back

On families of ally, on fellow countrymen
And on our newfound friend, the Iraqi civilain
Now caught in the crossfire of hegemonistic desire
Your T.W.A.T. reeks of prolongued impossibility to win

They're dropping by the hour in the abuse of power
Unsuspecting flies trapped in a woven web of lies
While suicide roaches, stinging wasps and camoflauged locusts
Take aim at them under smoke and hate filled skies

T.W.A.T.
It ain't what it's cracked up to be
It's NOT a valid excuse to occupy any foreign country
You've GOT to open your eyes and realize for yourself
The Shocking and Aweful smell of the Hell
That is
The T.W.A.T

__________________
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Magnetron

Again, complementing thread started by crockett

http://m2.gfy.com/showthread.php?t=1130166

God Hates This War

Liquid gold buried under burning sand
Quite the coveted land, going hand in hand
Imperialism and Christianity
Bound together in pure hypocrisy
No seperation of Church and State
Perpetuate democracy, subjugate
And on and on goes the debate while

God hates this fuckin' war
Body count rising, he's not keeping score
He hates Osama, George Bush even more
For the violence that we should all abhor

Kill or be killed, age old reasonless rhyme
The fabricated excuse of an insecure mind
Peace through violence works everytime
No common sense that war is peace undermined
Dissected map for a new enemy to find
For oil pipes to cap over which to salivate
Slices of pies, the world slowly dies
And on and on goes the debate while

God hates this fuckin' war
Nevermind the commandments you seem to adore
Thou Shalt Not Kill, what else is this for?
You know God hates this fuckin' war

Yeah, He fuckin' hates it
This isn't how Peace is sought
You can't debate it
And still Osama isn't caught
It doesn't take a genius
Or even George Bush to see
In His vision of Heaven on Earth
Both of you assholes are the enemy

__________________
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