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-   -   Dinner with girlfriend and her mom - check etiquette? (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=612121)

noam 05-20-2006 11:55 AM

Dinner with girlfriend and her mom - check etiquette?
 
My girlfriend's mom is in town and she invited me to have dinner with them. I never split a check and typically pay for my gf. I'm definately going to reach for the check tonight - but not sure what to do if her mom insists on paying.

Thoughts?

Scott McD 05-20-2006 11:58 AM

Is the mom hot ??


(yes it's important)

Dagwolf 05-20-2006 11:58 AM

Insist that you pay at least 3 times. After that you're making a scene.

noam 05-20-2006 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scott McD
Is the mom hot ??

(yes it's important)

Don't know yet.

KrisKross 05-20-2006 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by noam
Don't know yet.

Ask your girlfriend!

noam 05-20-2006 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KrisKross
Ask your girlfriend!

Yeah, my tombstone will read:

- "Do you want to have dinner with me and my mom?"
- "I don't know, is she hot?"

FunForOne 05-20-2006 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dagwolf
Insist that you pay at least 3 times. After that you're making a scene.


Great advice!


At the beginning of dinner, order an exoctic / expensive appetiser or spirits to be split among everyone. While you are ordering it, politely make it known that you are "treating" for this special occasion.

After that, it would be rude of her to insist on paying.

That should keep the guesswork down while everyone is ordering and eating.

Scott McD 05-20-2006 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by noam
Yeah, my tombstone will read:

- "Do you want to have dinner with me and my mom?"
- "I don't know, is she hot?"

LMAO !!!!! :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

selena 05-20-2006 12:31 PM

As soon as the server first comes to your table, tell them that you'd like the check when your party is finished. Then if the mom objects, you can just tell her that you insist, you'd never dream of letting her pay for you having the privledge of escorting two lovely ladies to dinner, blahblahblah.

Screaming 05-20-2006 12:32 PM

grab the waiter away from the table.. on the way to the bathroom... tell him whats up.

Hotrocket 05-20-2006 12:46 PM

When you sit down at the table say something like "This is my treat" just to get it out of the way then..that should win ya a cpl points with both of them...you'll be under a microscope as it is..lol

MaddCaz 05-20-2006 12:54 PM

depends...how close are you and the girl?

Cyndalie 05-20-2006 12:54 PM

Waiters are pretty good with stuff like this, when he/she approaches with the check use eyecontact and a nod, or if mom leaves the table at any point during the meal get it out of the way discreetly. If that chance never happens and you reach for it, if she insists selena's tip above is perfect, or if she really insists allow her to opportunity to treat next time. If she offers to pay tip, give her that much. Some women are just PROUD, especially when around their own children. When your kids are all grown up, the chance to "take care of them" (such as pay for meals) are far and few inbetween.

NoCarrier 05-20-2006 12:56 PM

Make sure you eat lots of Chili before the meeting. When you arrive at the table, check your pockets for something then put down your immodium box on the table.

AlienQ - BANNED FOR LIFE 05-20-2006 01:56 PM

Tell her mom that her daughter enjoy's anal and see if she has the same preference.:thumbsup

RayBonga 05-20-2006 01:59 PM

If she insists on paying slap her around.

Show her that her daughter has a real man.

Mr.Right - Banned For Life 05-20-2006 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by selena
As soon as the server first comes to your table, tell them that you'd like the check when your party is finished. Then if the mom objects, you can just tell her that you insist, you'd never dream of letting her pay for you having the privledge of escorting two lovely ladies to dinner, blahblahblah.

That is the best way.

noam 05-20-2006 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaddCaz
depends...how close are you and the girl?

Not that close...

HotPussyCat 05-20-2006 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dagwolf
Insist that you pay at least 3 times. After that you're making a scene.

Id agree with this

ssp 05-20-2006 03:15 PM

Why pay for it all?! Split it amongst the three of you and treat yourself to a nice lapdance in the local stripclub from the money you save.

WWC-Pajio 05-20-2006 03:16 PM

....if the mom is a hotty!! you're good to go :winkwink:

TheSpreader 05-20-2006 03:19 PM

I think this really depends on several variables.

- How old are you?
- How old is your girlfriend?
- How long have you been together?
- Do you plan on staying with her for an extended amount of time?

I'd say get a bottle for the table and see if you can fuck a mom/daughter combo deal! I had that chance once but fucked it up because I thought of my friends. Any good friend would understand under those circumstances.

BoyAlley 05-20-2006 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cyndalie
Waiters are pretty good with stuff like this, when he/she approaches with the check use eyecontact and a nod, or if mom leaves the table at any point during the meal get it out of the way discreetly.

Exactly what I was going to recommend. Excellent advice!

BVF 05-20-2006 03:25 PM

I'd just ask the girlfriend beforehand who is going to pay.

onlymovies 05-20-2006 03:29 PM

Yes, you pay. Her mom is in town.

And secondly, if you want to do this right, you don't wait for the check to come to the table..cause then you have to fight to pay.

You go 'use the bathroom' or something and walk over to the waiter and hand him the card. Then when your about to leave and the ladies are waiting for the check, you tell them you already took care of it.

onlymovies 05-20-2006 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BVF
I'd just ask the girlfriend beforehand who is going to pay.

I find that kind of cheesy to ask his girl who's going to pay.

He's the man, her mom is in town visiting, there should no question who's going to pay. His girl only wants her mom to have a good time and also to be proud of man she's with. Just my opinion though.

Nyght 05-20-2006 03:42 PM

Mom should pay, she invited. Of course you should have made the invite and then paid. You already messed this one up.

BVF 05-20-2006 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onlymovies
I find that kind of cheesy to ask his girl who's going to pay.

He's the man, her mom is in town visiting, there should no question who's going to pay. His girl only wants her mom to have a good time and also to be proud of man she's with. Just my opinion though.

What's cheesy is that because even though it's HER mother...and SHE asked for the dinner, because he is a "Man" and that the woman doesn't have a penis between her legs means that he has to pay..

This is the exact attitude why women feel so entitled to things...Nobody even THOUGHT to ask in this thread how much money "She" makes...Maybe she can afford it.

And the universal rule is "You ask..You pay"....Nothing "cheesy" about that.

Booty Bucks 05-20-2006 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KrisKross
Ask your girlfriend!

Yeah! :thumbsup

noam 05-20-2006 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheSpreader
I think this really depends on several variables.

- How old are you?
- How old is your girlfriend?
- How long have you been together?
- Do you plan on staying with her for an extended amount of time?

I'm 23
She is 24
A few weeks
Could be

BVF 05-20-2006 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by noam
I'm 23
She is 24
A few weeks
Could be

A FEW WEEKS?...As Whitney Houston would say..

"Hell to the naw"

BrettJ 05-20-2006 05:13 PM

depends on the economics of the situation. how does her mom do? how do you do? and if it's a nice restaraunt.

if her family is well off but you do okay too - it could at the very least been seen as sneaky to pull the waiter aside and make it clear to him that you'll be paying. suggesting at the beginning that you would like to treat (tonight)since she's a guest in town - is a better way to handle it. don't push it too far - she'll more than likely tell you that it isn't necessary. let her win.

if her family doesn't have a lot of money - you could try the sneaky thing of giving the waiter your card before - but obviously that's if you really want to treat. I'd still suggest - having the conversation and saying - i'd like to treat - but in that case i'd insist on paying unless the conversation drags out too long and it just becomes awkward - but try to hold your ground.

you guys have only been dating a couple weeks - a little early for meeting the parents.

I'd say if you just get by make a weak attempt to offer to pay - but let her mom end up winning. you'll have made the offer, that'll get you a couple points. A month from now the mom will remember thinking you were a nice boy but won't miss the couple hundred bucks but you'll still be trying to play catch up because of it.

noam 05-20-2006 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrettJ
depends on the economics of the situation. how does her mom do? how do you do? and if it's a nice restaraunt.

I have no idea how well off her mom is. As for me, I'm pretty well to do.

hova 05-20-2006 05:27 PM

just pay the bill

L-Pink 05-20-2006 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RayBonga
If she insists on paying slap her around.

Show her that her daughter has a real man.


:1orglaugh :thumbsup :1orglaugh

Vitasoy 05-20-2006 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onlymovies
Yes, you pay. Her mom is in town.

And secondly, if you want to do this right, you don't wait for the check to come to the table..cause then you have to fight to pay.

You go 'use the bathroom' or something and walk over to the waiter and hand him the card. Then when your about to leave and the ladies are waiting for the check, you tell them you already took care of it.

I agree, this is the way to do it smoothly

the Shemp 05-20-2006 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hova
just pay the bill

:thumbsup

woj 05-20-2006 07:00 PM

right before the waiter brings the check pretend you have an important business call and leave, problem solved....

d00t 05-20-2006 07:16 PM

are you totally blind, son?

When the check comes, ignore it for a few seconds and keep talking as if it isn't there. If her mom reaches for it, make your move and be like..`oh i got it` ..say it casually (not forcefully) and keep talking like it's no big deal either way.

This is where you really need to pay attention to the girls body language. If her mom still insists, then looks at her daughter - you are in with both of them and know everything is great - her mom likes you.
If she lets you reach for the check and doesn't fight it - look at her moms reaction and see if its one of relief or if she feels kinda odd.

Both of these scenarios all hahve their own meanings.

If your gf insists on paying for it and smiles at her mom, your days are limited.

Body language is the key to women. Take special notice :)

Well Dunn 05-20-2006 07:20 PM

pull the waiter aside while your taking a piss, give him 10 bucks, tell him theres another 10 waiting if he hands you the check, scale the ammount to what kinda place your eating at. although, being the only dude at the table, your more than likely going to get the check handed your way out of instinct. but make it clear you want it. then let the situation take care of itself.

12clicks 05-20-2006 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by noam
My girlfriend's mom is in town and she invited me to have dinner with them. I never split a check and typically pay for my gf. I'm definately going to reach for the check tonight - but not sure what to do if her mom insists on paying.

Thoughts?

you're the man, act like it.
If she insists, it doesn't matter, you're still the man at the table.

noam 05-21-2006 12:35 PM

Well, here's how it went down:

At the beginning, the wine list was handed to me. I looked it over, closed it and asked if the Rosemont Shiraz is ok with everyone - got a few nods.

When it was time for the check, I simply handed the waiter my credit card - which nobody actually noticed. When the check came back already paid up, the mom and daughter thought it was still unpaid, and when I reached to sign for it - the daughter took it away from me to hand to her mom and said, "you don't have to pay".

I said, "oh - I already did. Your mom is a guest here". I thought they might make a scene - but it only took them about 4 seconds to accept the fact that I paid...

Spunky 05-21-2006 01:00 PM

Nice gesture..just pay it and take it out on your g/f later :)

NoCarrier 05-21-2006 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by noam
the daughter took it away from me to hand to her mom and said, "you don't have to pay".

I said, "oh - I already did."

So Sorry that you didn't get laid that night..

Monique Niccole 05-21-2006 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by noam
Well, here's how it went down:

At the beginning, the wine list was handed to me. I looked it over, closed it and asked if the Rosemont Shiraz is ok with everyone - got a few nods.

When it was time for the check, I simply handed the waiter my credit card - which nobody actually noticed. When the check came back already paid up, the mom and daughter thought it was still unpaid, and when I reached to sign for it - the daughter took it away from me to hand to her mom and said, "you don't have to pay".

I said, "oh - I already did. Your mom is a guest here". I thought they might make a scene - but it only took them about 4 seconds to accept the fact that I paid...

Sounds like you made good moves all around. :thumbsup

If I were the girlfriend, I would never have tried to hand it off to my mom. If the guy I was with didn't pay, then I would do it, but that would also be the last you would see of me.

i-Affiliate_com 05-21-2006 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by noam
Well, here's how it went down:

At the beginning, the wine list was handed to me. I looked it over, closed it and asked if the Rosemont Shiraz is ok with everyone - got a few nods.

When it was time for the check, I simply handed the waiter my credit card - which nobody actually noticed. When the check came back already paid up, the mom and daughter thought it was still unpaid, and when I reached to sign for it - the daughter took it away from me to hand to her mom and said, "you don't have to pay".

I said, "oh - I already did. Your mom is a guest here". I thought they might make a scene - but it only took them about 4 seconds to accept the fact that I paid...

Congratulations! Mom's definitley going to leave town very impressed with you! :thumbsup

BVF 05-21-2006 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Afrekete
If I were the girlfriend, I would never have tried to hand it off to my mom. If the guy I was with didn't pay, then I would do it, but that would also be the last you would see of me.

And I'd say "Good Riddance"...I don't like being asked to dinner and somebody expecting me to pay for it...Especially if I've only been going out with the girl for three weeks...

There's all kinds of ways that a woman can give hints to make the man ASK to take them out...If they asked ME, and the girl left cause I didn't pay, then I'd breathe a sigh of relief because I know that I saved myself thousands and thousands of dollars and a whole lot of bullshit and grief because the woman failed to communicate.

I believe in cutting to the chase BEFORE we go anywhere...I'm not gonna play the check game at the end of the dinner..

noam 05-21-2006 01:58 PM

I'm happy all around. While I enjoy paying for my girl she doesn't depend on me financially and on a typical night she is just after my cock - not my money.

Sly 05-21-2006 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Afrekete
Sounds like you made good moves all around. :thumbsup

If I were the girlfriend, I would never have tried to hand it off to my mom. If the guy I was with didn't pay, then I would do it, but that would also be the last you would see of me.

So if your mom was in town and you invited your boyfriend out to dinner with the two you would automatically expect him to pay? Ok, maybe, MAYBE I can see that. But then you would ditch him altogether if he didn't pay?

Hahaha.

You must not be one of those women after women's rights and equality.

RogerV10 05-21-2006 02:21 PM

As posted before, you fucked up on not being the one to Invite.


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