I'm actually very much not the jealous type at all. I think that is something Baddog and I might have in common as far as this subject goes.

I tend to trust until my trust is broken. Once it's broken, that's usually pretty much it though.


[Cue Skynyrd's "Simple kind of man"]

breking up a 3,8 year relationship that meant a whole world to you is something we need to talk about.Not this, this is normal.You haven't met this woman before, you started fresh and everything is just fine.I know that you were not talking about your personal life, it was just an example but...

So in your mind, longevity of the relationship matters most. Interesting. So if your wife or girlfriend of nearly 4 years drops the news on you that she was fucking another guy during the first few weeks of you dating her then it's grounds for a breakup, but if the relationship is only a few months old it's hardly worth worrying about, is that it?

Or am I reading you wrong?

lol you are reding me wrong:) The things I wrote had nothing to do with the ex-husband fucking and stuff...I'm a girl btw:)
And if I would find out he was fucking his ex well, I'd probably break up, maybe cry if i like the guy...not fair at all

I don't quite understand what the issue is. Is there a banging grace period I don't know about?

u must always hold it against her so when u fuck up. (And eventually u will) u can use this as an excuse.

I'm not saying that one way or the other. I'm simply interested in what your opinion might be were you to find yourself in such a situation. I know there are several variables that can come into play from situation to situation, which actuallys makes the conversation that much more interesting.

So you tell me, IS there a grace period?

true:) lol

Valid point. It's not like many women don't store, categorize and file away all your fuckups for future use. :winkwink:

it is genetic

wouldnt matter to me.

And share them with our friends :thumbsup

apparently I still have some estrogen left - whew!

You can't hold something she did before you against her. A lot of couples have sex after they are no longer together because it is a known factor.... it's really not an unusual thing. Don't miss out on a good thing over a silly personal thing that really has no realistic bearing on your relationship with her now.

Think of it this way.... would you prefer she told you she was sleeping with random strangers she picked up in the bar a different one every night until she met you. The ex-hubby is not a bad pick lol.

you can argue that ANYTHING has "no realistic bearing on the relationship with her now" ... but thats purely subjective reasoning. people look for signs and red flags based on their own experience and their own needs in a relationship contrasted against the type of relationship they are looking for. past behavior is the single best predictor of future behavior.

you can argue that her having a crack pipe in her purse means nothing because you didn't see her smoking crack. the list of arguments can go on forever.

at the end of the day, all you can do is ask yourself "am i comfortable with this" because there is no simple, black and white, one size fits all, answer. if the answer is "yes, absolutely!" carry on.. if the answer is "no, not really" then the faster you move on, the better it will be for everyone.

LM, I hate to do this to you but *BONK*... you really do need to read the entire thread first, because not only has what you said already been brought up but it has been addressed, and the question actually goes deeper than that.


I have a strong sense that over a pitcher of beer or two, you and I would have some very interesting conversation. :thumbsup

I have to say that from an outsider's perspective, it sounds like you are hitting on him.

CD smith answer me this and others if they wish ok this isnt someone else its me. Been seeing this girl for about 3 months she is still married and was still living with her Husband when I meet her but alone in seperate rooms they have children. I was very casual with her and believe she needs to explore her new freedom witch she was doing she has now moved out setup her own place and has now ask me for an monogamous relationship.
I am still seeing another 4 women but havent had sex with any of them since I was asked.
Now should I lie because I'm fairly sure things will not work out with her and just have sex with the others as well or give it a chance.

Nothing wrong with that... sex is sex and sex with your ex is often great.

I may have been, yes... in a manly no ma'amish kind of way. :D

you should see a therapist about the fact that you are pulled towards chaotic and doomed relationships and situations that can only end in an explosion.

why do you think you are trying to hurt yourself and others?

Jeezus Mick, so much to digest there. :1orglaugh

My answer: What does the little man inside you say?

The little man knows ALL. :thumbsup

What does the little man inside you say?
Dont Panic be very careful no need to hurry anything along give it some time and be patient

I'd say that once you give her the cock...it should be thought of as exclusive

Sounds like sage advice to me.

I told you, the little man knows ALL. :winkwink:

Extremely debatable.

Why would it matter if it was before you were dating her?

sounds like it will be you and me on the back of Baddogs bike. be gentle. :)

I'd ask her what the reasons were for banging her ex-boyfriend...

If she had a good reason it's all fine...
if she says something stupid., dump her

:)

Why the vibration alone could cause massive.... well, you know. :D

Give me an example of a "good reason"

and an example of one that you would consider "something stupid"

thanks and thanks. :D

What... did you think you were her first???

At least it was her ex and not some random dude...

Some of you need to go take some remedial English classes. :2 cents:

It was a joke man... stop being so sensitive.

Your deal is no big deal. You know she was having sex with her ex AT SOME POINT before you met her. Who cares and what difference does it make if it was before, during or after the divorce?

A very good reason to keep her:

I'm was far more confortable with my ex-boyfriend than if I had slept with other guys .

Now that I've found you who I connect with and can feel comfortable with, I will move on and probably find that the sex gets much better.

Also if she said something about seeking confirmation and stuff, I think that's a good excuse too, specially from women

Bad reasons, not to keep her:

I still had feelings for my boyfriend

I felt lust for him and sexual attraction, I couldnt stand up to his charm

Hope this helps a little bit!

Is it a case of me being oversensitive or is it the fact that it was kind of sort of hard to tell what level of "humor" you were using? :winkwink:


According the posts on this thread (of which I'm still not quite convinced you've taken the time to read) many actually do care.