HAHAH I Love Telemarketers!!! - GoFuckYourself.com

GTS Mark · 06-07-2002, 03:35 PM

So just like you guys I get my good share of telemarketers and damn they bug me!

So today once calls me and I decide to fight back!

I listened to their long sales speel about getting a subscription to the Toronto Star. So then just as she is about to get my information...

I ask her to "hold on"

Then I put the phone right next to my computer speakers and played this...

http://www.thisispriceless.com/me/waste1.wav

If no one can remember this famous clip. It is of our good friend "waste" from GFY after a hard night of drinking at after hour clubs in Toronto at the party in January. He is complaining about not getting any pussy!

Thanks Waste that telemarketer will never call here again!

DH

jimmyf · 06-07-2002, 03:42 PM

I ask'em for there home number...
They will try to give you there work number.

Tell'em no I want your home number...

Which they won't give you..

Ask why not you called me at home...

Oh yes I forgot... They usually think your a fucking nut for asking for there home number.... Serious.

TopCashQ · 06-07-2002, 03:50 PM

I had a roomate in college that had a real funny way of dealing with telemarketers. He'd listen to their entire shpiel, then try to sell them a book he'd just published.

It was great - as soon as he'd start his sales pitch, they hung up on him every time.

Gator · 06-07-2002, 03:55 PM

These assholes harass me all day. I am always looking for new ideas to get them back.

Flynn · 06-07-2002, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jimmyf
I ask'em for there home number...
They will try to give you there work number.

Tell'em no I want your home number...

Which they won't give you..

Ask why not you called me at home...

Oh yes I forgot... They usually think your a fucking nut for asking for there home number.... Serious.

Dude, there was a great Seinfeld episode where Jerry did the same shit to a telemarketer. good shit man ;)

Slick · 06-07-2002, 04:00 PM

I get long distance carriers calling me ALL the fucking time. The thing that's really funny is that they act like they have this great big deal, then when they ask me who my current long distance provider is and my rate is, when I tell them that I pay 4.5 cents per minute, in state & out of state, 24/7, they just say "Sorry, we can't beat that, you're better off staying where you are" and hang up the phone, ha ha ha.

Tipsy · 06-07-2002, 04:01 PM

The joys of moving, getting a new number and being ex-directory

All I get these days is BT phoning to see if I'm OK and apologising. Doesn't stop the fuckers continuing to get it wrong though.

foe · 06-07-2002, 04:08 PM

whats that ringing noise in the backround

foe · 06-07-2002, 04:09 PM

btw I like to play jokes on them as well, act mentaly disabled etc, it can get fun

jimmyf · 06-07-2002, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tipsy
The joys of moving, getting a new number and being ex-directory
All I get these days is BT phoning to see if I'm OK and apologising. Doesn't stop the fuckers continuing to get it wrong though.

I thought I wasn't going to get any when I moved to Fresno and got an unlisted number...
I still get'em but not as many but I get'em.
They have computer's.

foe · 06-07-2002, 04:14 PM

There is a special device out, forgot whats it called that tricks telemarketers into thinking they have a wrong number and deletes you from their database

Tipsy · 06-07-2002, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jimmyf

I thought I wasn't going to get any when I moved to Fresno and got an unlisted number...
I still get'em but not as many but I get'em.
They have computer's.

Hmmm...we gotta be luckier in the UK then in that respect. Been here a year now and haven't had one. Making sure I check all the 'don't give my details out' boxes actually seems to work.

foe · 06-07-2002, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tipsy

Hmmm...we gotta be luckier in the UK then in that respect. Been here a year now and haven't had one. Making sure I check all the 'don't give my details out' boxes actually seems to work.

that definelty depends on the site, I have done custom work for several companies which do not respect that in ANY way at all.

Jakke PNG · 06-07-2002, 04:17 PM

Some old woman called me this morning @ 6:30 and asked if I wanted to donate money for some retard-school or something. I think after I had a good 30 minute sleep that night I was pretty rude to her.

dipshit moron retard · 06-07-2002, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Gator
These assholes harass me all day. I am always looking for new ideas to get them back.

act interested and get them to talk for as long as possible, then just say 'not interested' and hang up or something otherwise abrupt. making these guys run through the entire thing and giving them a small glimmer of hope you might just be dumb enough to buy and then letting them down with no explanation at the end really wears on them. sometimes i just say "im gay" over and over again as soon as they start talking until they hang up on me. they usually say 'Sir?' about 50 times first.

Tipsy · 06-07-2002, 04:18 PM

Like I say - seems we're luckier for the most part in the UK in that respect.

jimmyf · 06-07-2002, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by foe
There is a special device out, forgot whats it called that tricks telemarketers into thinking they have a wrong number and deletes you from their database

I've seen ad's on TV for those things wonder if they work..

Phone company's are all screwed up and really don't care about there customers.... I guess the worse is MCI... man my office mate in the Bay Area went through some shit with them...

I thought it was funny... he didn't....

Due · 06-07-2002, 05:07 PM

I actually worked as a Telemarketer before started on my online ventures.
Was a awesome job. I actually miss it sometimes. You also learn a lot about how to manipulate so you get it your way

foe · 06-07-2002, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Due
I actually worked as a Telemarketer before started on my online ventures.
Was a awesome job. I actually miss it sometimes. You also learn a lot about how to manipulate so you get it your way

Does it help you no when negotiating?

cherrylula · 06-07-2002, 05:14 PM

Honestly, my phone rang this morning and when I looked at the caller id to decide if I was going to pick up, it said

CHURCH OF JESUS

wtf??? I did not answer, they did not leave a message either. If they call back, I suppose I will have to answer it and perhaps have a little fun with the call. hehehe. Maybe I will mention what I do for a living, and rattle off some of my url's. I bet it would give me some quality hits hahahaha

Due · 06-07-2002, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by foe

Does it help you no when negotiating?

Yes a LOT.
You learn a lot about dealing with people in different situations.
At least if you worked withl B2B

SykkBoy · 06-07-2002, 07:43 PM

I, too, did a lot of telemarketing...even managed a few sales offices...I learned a lot about negotiating and sales...if you can sell someone something over the phone sight unseen, it's a gift and only about 1-2% of those who walked through the door to make their fortune will even stay long enough to make anything worthwhile anyways.......I remember the good old days of $1200-1500 weeks hawking vitamins, ad specs, wireless cable lisences, sports info.......

I love the scene in "Glengarry Glen Ross" when Alec Baldwin is giving his spiel about "you suck and are a lousy bastard" and in "Boiler Room" when ben Affleck does ther "ear to ear" speech...I used to love giving those speeches....

best thing to do with any contest or premium promotion type telemarketers (are there any of those left?) is to ask for them to disclaim you....then, by law, they have to give you the phone number to call to claim your "prize" without benefit of purchase....

as for the long distance company calls, I just start asking for phone or I've even gone so far as to start asking questions like "can you save me money on phone sex? that shit costs like $3 a minute and I'm an ugly freak of nature and a loser, so can't afford those rates" and go into a long spiel about how I was hated as a child and my father used to beat me with a section of garden hose while forcing me to dress as a french maid....I love telemarketers

PicsULove · 06-07-2002, 08:16 PM

hahah my brother and i used to have contests to see who could keep them on the longest....
we'd have friendly chats and soemtimes theyd be so bored they would talk for 10+minutes since they didnt want to call another house and get hung up on....ah so fun hah

Sly_RJ · 06-07-2002, 09:11 PM

Whenever they call me I just pretend I'm on the crapper with a violent case of diarrhea. Describing each and every detail. Everything from the burning sensation to the rotten smell of digested boiled eggs.

tiger · 06-07-2002, 09:32 PM

I've got the caller ID block on my phone so that anyone that doesn't allow me to see their number is not allowed to call me.

Funny thing in the year since I've had it I haven't received a single fucking call. I used to get minimum 2 per day. I don't care what anyone says those assholes are 10 million times worse then any email spammer.

Pathfinder · 06-07-2002, 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TopCashQ
I had a roomate in college that had a real funny way of dealing with telemarketers. He'd listen to their entire shpiel, then try to sell them a book he'd just published.

It was great - as soon as he'd start his sales pitch, they hung up on him every time.

If I am in the mood to play I use the technique of trying to sell them something, but I start before they get into their sales pitch. I usually start off by saying something like "Oh you are calling about my add in the paper" and proceed to provide details about a car, truck, RV, etc. Every time they try to interrupt I will add a few more details. They usually end up hanging up one me.

One time one started off by telling me it was my lucky day and that I had won $10,000.00 all I had to do was to send them X amount of dollars for whatever, in order to collect the money. I said; no it is your lucky day. I don't need the money, so I give you permission to pay the fees and just keep the money for yourself.

Usually I just hang up on them.

SleazyDream · 06-07-2002, 09:53 PM

just tell em you're naked and horny.

fantasycontent · 06-08-2002, 01:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by TopCashQ
I had a roomate in college that had a real funny way of dealing with telemarketers. He'd listen to their entire shpiel, then try to sell them a book he'd just published.

It was great - as soon as he'd start his sales pitch, they hung up on him every time.

I actually ask the telemaketers to give my number to others in their office to call me. The approach you have to take is when they start stop them and ask if they are over 18 yrs. If they say yes tell them you are more then happy to hear all about their products but that they have to hear your shpiel FIRST (i made the mistake of listening to them first and they hung up when i started). Most usually agree and I always tell them about my adult video site or ask if they surfer adult sites (though none admit to this). I also tell them as a telemarketers special if they act now they can get one and the other for 1/2 price! I call it the telemarketer special lol. If they tell you they are not interesed tell them thanks for your time but I would not be interested in your services either but if you know anyonw who might need a video please have them call me. I have actually had 2 tell me they would check out the site when they got home. This is marketing at it's best on their dime!!!

Slick · 06-08-2002, 05:11 AM

Oh yeah, that reminds me of the phone calls that I get every couple of weeks wanting me to donate money to buy bullet-proof vests for the police in my area. It's pretty funny though because my local news and radio actually had local police come out and said that it was a scam to beware of those calls. I did bring that up to them the last time they called and they said that they didn't know that I was talking about, that they're 100% legit, ha ha ha.

Hot Tropical Babes · 06-08-2002, 08:31 AM

I hand the phone to my secretary (my three year old daughter)

Sometimes, I ask the telemarketer for their home phone number so I can call back at 3am. I explain I hope they are sound asleep when I call.

LoveAsianChicks · 06-08-2002, 08:51 AM

If you get a female caller say this:

"your voice is really sexy, do you mind If I touch myself while you talk?"

they hangup.

PersianKitty · 06-08-2002, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by foe
There is a special device out, forgot whats it called that tricks telemarketers into thinking they have a wrong number and deletes you from their database

The Tele-Zapper... cheap, can be bought online or at Radio Shack and other place and yes it appears to work for the most part. Before placing it on my biz line at home, I was getting several sales calls a day. Most I get now..the zapper kills em and there's no one there when I pick up.

I have all the caller ID blocks (requiring them to press 1 to show their number), etc on my phones, but there are still many from out of state, etc, that get through that.

Pete · 06-08-2002, 09:12 AM

I think its rude for these people to phone me at home and interupt my life so I return the favour by hanging up on them as they are in the middle of there sales pitch

mike503 · 06-08-2002, 01:03 PM

yeah there's a funny campaign called the "please hold" campaign or something. basically when they call, you say "please hold" and go do some chores... maybe check in once in a while, and hopefully you can keep them on the line for 10 minutes. if everyone did this, the telemarketers' # of calls per day would be so shitty they'd go out of business.

also, another thing you can do is to scare the piss out of them. when someone calls have your girlfriend or wife screaming the background and tell the person that you just tried unsuccessfully to flush her abortion down the toilet...

mike503 · 06-08-2002, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PersianKitty

The Tele-Zapper... cheap, can be bought online or at Radio Shack and other place and yes it appears to work for the most part. Before placing it on my biz line at home, I was getting several sales calls a day. Most I get now..the zapper kills em and there's no one there when I pick up.

too much money in telemarketing, just like too much money in spam. they'll find a way around it, or one of the techs who made it will be bribed or sell off the secrets on how to get around it.

but at least it gives you some silence, for now...

the only way to stay cool is to use a unix-based hosts.allow/deny method of security with them. basically DENY all, ALLOW only from the numbers i recognize. then no LD people, no caller-id blocked people, no one gets to talk to you besides the few people you allow.

Wizzo · 06-08-2002, 01:19 PM

Use it as a oppertunity to "spread the word of JeSus".....Tell them you can save them, that they are sinner and you want to help them out... Blah Blah Blah....They will hang up pretty quick...

Also, a good leader into that is ask them do they think Jesus would buy what they are selling?

06-07-2002, 03:35 PM	#1
GTS Mark Vrume Mark Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 20,912	HAHAH I Love Telemarketers!!! So just like you guys I get my good share of telemarketers and damn they bug me! So today once calls me and I decide to fight back! I listened to their long sales speel about getting a subscription to the Toronto Star. So then just as she is about to get my information... I ask her to "hold on" Then I put the phone right next to my computer speakers and played this... http://www.thisispriceless.com/me/waste1.wav If no one can remember this famous clip. It is of our good friend "waste" from GFY after a hard night of drinking at after hour clubs in Toronto at the party in January. He is complaining about not getting any pussy! Thanks Waste that telemarketer will never call here again! DH

06-07-2002, 03:42 PM	#2
jimmyf OU812 Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: California Posts: 12,651	I ask'em for there home number... They will try to give you there work number. Tell'em no I want your home number... Which they won't give you.. Ask why not you called me at home... Oh yes I forgot... They usually think your a fucking nut for asking for there home number.... Serious. __________________ Epic CashEpic Cash works for me Solar Cash Paysite Plugin Gallery of the day freesites,POTD,Gallery generator with free hosting Last edited by jimmyf; 06-07-2002 at 03:57 PM..

06-07-2002, 03:50 PM	#3
TopCashQ Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Tucson, AZ Posts: 141	I had a roomate in college that had a real funny way of dealing with telemarketers. He'd listen to their entire shpiel, then try to sell them a book he'd just published. It was great - as soon as he'd start his sales pitch, they hung up on him every time. __________________ <a href="http://www.topcash.com/">TopCash</a> - paying 6 cents per click - no conversion ratio requirements! <a href="http://www.topbucks.com/">TopBucks</a> $35 - $40 per signup or 80% partnership <a href="http://www.oneverify.com/webmasters/_webmastersinfo.htm">OneVerify.com</a> new AVS paying $20 per TRULY free signup

06-07-2002, 03:55 PM	#4
Gator Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Don't live on GFY Posts: 1,119	These assholes harass me all day. I am always looking for new ideas to get them back. Last edited by Gator; 06-07-2002 at 03:56 PM..

06-07-2002, 04:01 PM	#7
Tipsy Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: See sig Posts: 6,989	The joys of moving, getting a new number and being ex-directory All I get these days is BT phoning to see if I'm OK and apologising. Doesn't stop the fuckers continuing to get it wrong though. __________________ Ignorance is never bliss.

06-07-2002, 04:00 PM	#6
Slick Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Houghton, MI Posts: 7,338	I get long distance carriers calling me ALL the fucking time. The thing that's really funny is that they act like they have this great big deal, then when they ask me who my current long distance provider is and my rate is, when I tell them that I pay 4.5 cents per minute, in state & out of state, 24/7, they just say "Sorry, we can't beat that, you're better off staying where you are" and hang up the phone, ha ha ha.

06-07-2002, 04:08 PM	#8
foe Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: CT Posts: 5,246	whats that ringing noise in the backround

06-07-2002, 04:09 PM	#9
foe Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: CT Posts: 5,246	btw I like to play jokes on them as well, act mentaly disabled etc, it can get fun

06-07-2002, 04:14 PM	#11
foe Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: CT Posts: 5,246	There is a special device out, forgot whats it called that tricks telemarketers into thinking they have a wrong number and deletes you from their database

06-07-2002, 04:17 PM	#14
Jakke PNG ex-TeenGodFather Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Suomi Finland Perkele Posts: 20,306	Some old woman called me this morning @ 6:30 and asked if I wanted to donate money for some retard-school or something. I think after I had a good 30 minute sleep that night I was pretty rude to her. __________________ ..and I'm off.

06-07-2002, 04:18 PM	#16
Tipsy Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: See sig Posts: 6,989	Like I say - seems we're luckier for the most part in the UK in that respect. __________________ Ignorance is never bliss.

06-07-2002, 05:07 PM	#18
Due Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Murrieta, CA Posts: 3,620	I actually worked as a Telemarketer before started on my online ventures. Was a awesome job. I actually miss it sometimes. You also learn a lot about how to manipulate so you get it your way __________________ I buy plugs Skype: Due_Global /Due

06-07-2002, 05:14 PM	#20
cherrylula lol Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 15,969	Honestly, my phone rang this morning and when I looked at the caller id to decide if I was going to pick up, it said CHURCH OF JESUS wtf??? I did not answer, they did not leave a message either. If they call back, I suppose I will have to answer it and perhaps have a little fun with the call. hehehe. Maybe I will mention what I do for a living, and rattle off some of my url's. I bet it would give me some quality hits hahahaha

06-07-2002, 07:43 PM	#22
SykkBoy Jesus loves bacon Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Sin City, Motherfucker Posts: 19,969	I, too, did a lot of telemarketing...even managed a few sales offices...I learned a lot about negotiating and sales...if you can sell someone something over the phone sight unseen, it's a gift and only about 1-2% of those who walked through the door to make their fortune will even stay long enough to make anything worthwhile anyways.......I remember the good old days of $1200-1500 weeks hawking vitamins, ad specs, wireless cable lisences, sports info....... I love the scene in "Glengarry Glen Ross" when Alec Baldwin is giving his spiel about "you suck and are a lousy bastard" and in "Boiler Room" when ben Affleck does ther "ear to ear" speech...I used to love giving those speeches.... best thing to do with any contest or premium promotion type telemarketers (are there any of those left?) is to ask for them to disclaim you....then, by law, they have to give you the phone number to call to claim your "prize" without benefit of purchase.... as for the long distance company calls, I just start asking for phone or I've even gone so far as to start asking questions like "can you save me money on phone sex? that shit costs like $3 a minute and I'm an ugly freak of nature and a loser, so can't afford those rates" and go into a long spiel about how I was hated as a child and my father used to beat me with a section of garden hose while forcing me to dress as a french maid....I love telemarketers __________________ Support my new movie “The Second Coming”

06-07-2002, 08:16 PM	#23
PicsULove Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Houston Posts: 82	hahah my brother and i used to have contests to see who could keep them on the longest.... we'd have friendly chats and soemtimes theyd be so bored they would talk for 10+minutes since they didnt want to call another house and get hung up on....ah so fun hah __________________ <a href="http://www.PicsULove.com>PicsULove.com</a>

06-07-2002, 09:11 PM	#24
Sly_RJ Live Hard - Die Hard Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Ready to leave... Posts: 17,042	Whenever they call me I just pretend I'm on the crapper with a violent case of diarrhea. Describing each and every detail. Everything from the burning sensation to the rotten smell of digested boiled eggs. __________________ PHAT SERVERS - Quality dedicated hosting at a quality price! sly AT phatservers DOT com - 147479144

06-07-2002, 09:32 PM	#25
tiger Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 6,986	I've got the caller ID block on my phone so that anyone that doesn't allow me to see their number is not allowed to call me. Funny thing in the year since I've had it I haven't received a single fucking call. I used to get minimum 2 per day. I don't care what anyone says those assholes are 10 million times worse then any email spammer. __________________

06-07-2002, 09:53 PM	#27
SleazyDream I'm here for SPORT Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phone # (401) 285-0696 Posts: 41,470	just tell em you're naked and horny. __________________ This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! Now read without the word dog.

06-08-2002, 05:11 AM	#29
Slick Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Houghton, MI Posts: 7,338	Oh yeah, that reminds me of the phone calls that I get every couple of weeks wanting me to donate money to buy bullet-proof vests for the police in my area. It's pretty funny though because my local news and radio actually had local police come out and said that it was a scam to beware of those calls. I did bring that up to them the last time they called and they said that they didn't know that I was talking about, that they're 100% legit, ha ha ha.

06-08-2002, 08:31 AM	#30
Hot Tropical Babes Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Orlando FL Posts: 3,014	I hand the phone to my secretary (my three year old daughter) Sometimes, I ask the telemarketer for their home phone number so I can call back at 3am. I explain I hope they are sound asleep when I call. __________________ <BR> Trade with Big Tits TGP Trade with Titman

06-08-2002, 08:51 AM	#31
LoveAsianChicks Registered User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: -CANADA- Posts: 1,464	If you get a female caller say this: "your voice is really sexy, do you mind If I touch myself while you talk?" they hangup.

06-08-2002, 09:12 AM	#33
Pete Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Mr. Rogers Neighborhood Posts: 6,617	I think its rude for these people to phone me at home and interupt my life so I return the favour by hanging up on them as they are in the middle of there sales pitch __________________ Evoke Electronics

06-08-2002, 01:03 PM	#34
mike503 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Location: oregon. Posts: 2,243	yeah there's a funny campaign called the "please hold" campaign or something. basically when they call, you say "please hold" and go do some chores... maybe check in once in a while, and hopefully you can keep them on the line for 10 minutes. if everyone did this, the telemarketers' # of calls per day would be so shitty they'd go out of business. also, another thing you can do is to scare the piss out of them. when someone calls have your girlfriend or wife screaming the background and tell the person that you just tried unsuccessfully to flush her abortion down the toilet... __________________ php/mysql guru. hosting, coding, all that jazz.

06-08-2002, 01:19 PM	#36
Wizzo 2011 GFY Hall of Fame! Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Back in Texas! Posts: 15,224	Use it as a oppertunity to "spread the word of JeSus".....Tell them you can save them, that they are sinner and you want to help them out... Blah Blah Blah....They will hang up pretty quick... Also, a good leader into that is ask them do they think Jesus would buy what they are selling? __________________ Looking for Opportunity!