coder needed: Familiar with both vbulletin and joomla (or similar CMS?) - GoFuckYourself.com

Jakke PNG · 04-12-2006, 08:39 AM

I might need someone to modify the cms for my needs, install it and integrate it with vbulletin (login atleast). Ballpark figure-estimates?

Coder needs to have the following properties:
- Take payment AFTER completion, sorry..too many flakey coders out there. No exceptions, not even a fucking partial payment. If I fuck you over, feel free to scream and yell at boards. My rep means more than the grand or so I'm willing to pay for this.

- install the cms, any cms that will fit my criteria. Mentioned below.

- Be able to optimize the shit so that it doesn't bring the entire server down when there's more than 3 people logged in at once.

- Be on icq/aol/whatevermessenger daily and reply when I ask "what's up".

- Not to have any dying parents/grandparents

- Need to keep a schedule, finish on time. There will be plenty of time, but I really do expect it to be ready by due date. Preferably 2 days before that.

- Comment any code modified so that in the future I don't need to hunt you down if I want something changed.

- Accept epass/wire transfers

- Know about flash video and ffmepg, and how to make the 2 work together in freebds environment.

Now for the actual project:
- I have an old version of vbulletin installed with custom language. I'd need this upgraded to a later version. This should be a piece of cake.
- I need to have a cms that can handle 'categories', this will be a bit of a 'break.com' style site, mixed with articles and shit. Main focus is not on the funny pics/vids whatever.. but the actual articles. I think joomla does all what I need, if not, it needs to be modified. Nothing grand like billing integration or such. Basic shit, tweaking this and that.
- The content served by the CMS should be 'locked' until they register, and the same user/pass should be added to vbulletin.
- A few other integrations with the cms and vbulletin, but those need to be discussed as well in detail.

... I'd say this is atleast a few weeks of work, maybe a week if you don't read GFY and jerk off 7 times a day. The 'start date' for the project would be around may 1st or so, and it should be ready by mid june. Give me a figure in which you'd be willing to give this a go. Outsourcers can apply, but your fucking monkey better speak better english than me.

Asking too much?

chadglni · 04-12-2006, 08:41 AM

looooool

Manowar · 04-12-2006, 08:44 AM

bump for you

Anna_O · 04-12-2006, 08:48 AM

Best post in weeks

Jakke PNG · 04-12-2006, 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anna_O

Best post in weeks

I'm 100% serious in my post.
As a 'retired' designer, I'm disgusted by the lack of integrity of coders and designers alike nowdays seem to possess. I *hate* to hire anyone for any task as I have to babysit them 24/7. That's why I never finish anything as I try to do it all myself. lol.

Holly · 04-12-2006, 09:02 AM

I just wanted to let you know that I don't know how to do any of that, so I won't be applying.

chadglni · 04-12-2006, 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Holly

I just wanted to let you know that I don't know how to do any of that, so I won't be applying.

I just want you to know I masturbate to my fantasy of what you look like.

That and TGF's naked guys in the woods video.

darksoul · 04-12-2006, 09:14 AM

you're a funny guy

Holly · 04-12-2006, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chadglni

I just want you to know I masturbate to my fantasy of what you look like.

That and TGF's naked guys in the woods video.

Let me guess: I'm 18, have blonde hair, blue eyes, big huge breasts, lots of cute girlfriends that sleep naked in the bed with me, and I like to stick things in my rectum and lick jizz off my face. While watching TGF's video.

chadglni · 04-12-2006, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Holly

Let me guess: I'm 18, have blonde hair, blue eyes, big huge breasts, lots of cute girlfriends that sleep naked in the bed with me, and I like to stick things in my rectum and lick jizz off my face. While watching TGF's video.

Well that wasn't it at all but it will be from now on.

Holly · 04-12-2006, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chadglni

Well that wasn't it at all but it will be from now on.

You're welcome.

nakki · 04-12-2006, 09:35 AM

Hey, I'm interested (and Finnish, so that should help with any possible communication problems.. :B)

Unfortunately, I can't take any more projects until July or so. So I guess I'm just letting you know in case the coder you hire flakes out and you need it done in July.. ;)

HorseShit · 04-12-2006, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Holly

I'm 18, have blonde hair, blue eyes, big huge breasts, lots of cute girlfriends that sleep naked in the bed with me, and I like to stick things in my rectum and lick jizz off my face.

You sound hot

Anna_O · 04-12-2006, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nakki

Hey, I'm interested (and Finnish, so that should help with any possible communication problems.. :B)

Unfortunately, I can't take any more projects until July or so. So I guess I'm just letting you know in case the coder you hire flakes out and you need it done in July.. ;)

I can really recomend this guy TGF

Jakke PNG · 04-13-2006, 03:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anna_O

I can really recomend this guy TGF

* BUMP *

So far the only coder that has any confidence in himself is available in july?
Gee..this is going well. lol.

candyflip · 04-13-2006, 05:23 AM

There's a component for integrating vB with Joomla, but it's a pay to play piece of code.

I'll see if I can find the link. I've been doing quite a bit with Joomla lately and LOVE it.

justsexxx · 04-13-2006, 05:27 AM

joomla is the 'new' mambo?>

candyflip · 04-13-2006, 05:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justsexxx

joomla is the 'new' mambo?>

The coders left the company who maintained Mambo and set up shop on their own.

ciocco · 04-13-2006, 05:33 AM

nice nice!

candyflip · 04-13-2006, 05:36 AM

$20 for the plugin needed to fully integrate vB into Joomla.

http://forum.bbpixel.com/index.php

04-12-2006, 08:39 AM	#1
Jakke PNG ex-TeenGodFather Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Suomi Finland Perkele Posts: 20,306	coder needed: Familiar with both vbulletin and joomla (or similar CMS?) I might need someone to modify the cms for my needs, install it and integrate it with vbulletin (login atleast). Ballpark figure-estimates? Coder needs to have the following properties: - Take payment AFTER completion, sorry..too many flakey coders out there. No exceptions, not even a fucking partial payment. If I fuck you over, feel free to scream and yell at boards. My rep means more than the grand or so I'm willing to pay for this. - install the cms, any cms that will fit my criteria. Mentioned below. - Be able to optimize the shit so that it doesn't bring the entire server down when there's more than 3 people logged in at once. - Be on icq/aol/whatevermessenger daily and reply when I ask "what's up". - Not to have any dying parents/grandparents - Need to keep a schedule, finish on time. There will be plenty of time, but I really do expect it to be ready by due date. Preferably 2 days before that. - Comment any code modified so that in the future I don't need to hunt you down if I want something changed. - Accept epass/wire transfers - Know about flash video and ffmepg, and how to make the 2 work together in freebds environment. Now for the actual project: - I have an old version of vbulletin installed with custom language. I'd need this upgraded to a later version. This should be a piece of cake. - I need to have a cms that can handle 'categories', this will be a bit of a 'break.com' style site, mixed with articles and shit. Main focus is not on the funny pics/vids whatever.. but the actual articles. I think joomla does all what I need, if not, it needs to be modified. Nothing grand like billing integration or such. Basic shit, tweaking this and that. - The content served by the CMS should be 'locked' until they register, and the same user/pass should be added to vbulletin. - A few other integrations with the cms and vbulletin, but those need to be discussed as well in detail. ... I'd say this is atleast a few weeks of work, maybe a week if you don't read GFY and jerk off 7 times a day. The 'start date' for the project would be around may 1st or so, and it should be ready by mid june. Give me a figure in which you'd be willing to give this a go. Outsourcers can apply, but your fucking monkey better speak better english than me. Asking too much? __________________ ..and I'm off.

04-12-2006, 08:41 AM	#2
chadglni Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: PEI, Canada Posts: 6,924	looooool __________________ Sign up here - Dating Site affiliate program

04-12-2006, 08:48 AM	#4
Anna_O Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Sweden Posts: 5,773	Best post in weeks __________________ Fetish by Anna Paysite - Nylons Bondage Latex Lesbians Glamour Annas Dungeon - 70k / day Fetish TGP ICQ 246797915

04-12-2006, 09:02 AM	#6
Holly Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Jesusland Posts: 10,017	I just wanted to let you know that I don't know how to do any of that, so I won't be applying. __________________ War National Damn Champions Eagle

04-12-2006, 09:14 AM	#8
darksoul Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: /root/ Posts: 4,997	you're a funny guy __________________ 1337 5y54\|)m1n: 157717888 BM-2cUBw4B2fgiYAfjkE7JvWaJMiUXD96n9tN Cambooth

04-12-2006, 08:44 AM	#3
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528	bump for you

04-12-2006, 09:35 AM	#12
nakki Confirmed User Join Date: May 2001 Location: http://topadultblogs.com/ Posts: 137	Hey, I'm interested (and Finnish, so that should help with any possible communication problems.. :B) Unfortunately, I can't take any more projects until July or so. So I guess I'm just letting you know in case the coder you hire flakes out and you need it done in July.. ;) __________________ - adult blog aggregator - sign up here NastyLittle.com - trade with an established adult blog

04-13-2006, 05:23 AM	#16
candyflip Carpe Visio Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: New York Posts: 43,068	There's a component for integrating vB with Joomla, but it's a pay to play piece of code. I'll see if I can find the link. I've been doing quite a bit with Joomla lately and LOVE it. __________________ Spend you some brain. Email Me

04-13-2006, 05:27 AM	#17
justsexxx Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,723	joomla is the 'new' mambo?> __________________ Questions? ICQ: 125184542

04-13-2006, 05:33 AM	#19
ciocco So Fucking Banned Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 4,714	nice nice!

04-13-2006, 05:36 AM	#20
candyflip Carpe Visio Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: New York Posts: 43,068	$20 for the plugin needed to fully integrate vB into Joomla. http://forum.bbpixel.com/index.php __________________ Spend you some brain. Email Me