If getting laid was like selling memberships to pornsites.... - Page 2 - GoFuckYourself.com

Jman · 07-29-2005, 01:33 AM

Dude I think you should come up to Canadia... We need to hook up ;-)

SteveLightspeed · 07-29-2005, 01:38 AM

Wow, wasn't I just there? I'm staying home for a while.

I'm afraid I can't make Miami, but I'll see you in Amsterdam in Sept!

BellaSeaira · 07-29-2005, 01:48 AM

lol that was great..

mkx · 07-29-2005, 01:53 AM

lol that was a good one

Bake · 07-29-2005, 01:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightspeed

CCbill scrub = Ron Cadwell is there, showing off his bling bling watch

CCbill scrub = she wants you bad but as hard as you try she just keeps rejecting you.

zvik · 07-29-2005, 02:01 AM

If all this was true you'd probably find yourself in bed with a man

perfectodollars-gabrio · 07-29-2005, 02:21 AM

the last one was priceless!

SteveLightspeed · 07-29-2005, 02:23 AM

Last one:

You have freaky, kinky, crazy, interracial sex = CCbills pays via Epassporte

reynold · 07-29-2005, 02:36 AM

LoLs! that's funny. :D

Major (Tom) · 07-29-2005, 02:54 AM

Steve, those are some great analogies man.
very clever

Duke

SteveLightspeed · 07-29-2005, 12:12 PM

Bump for the day crew, in case you missed it

STTBoss · 07-29-2005, 12:12 PM

OK, here is one more:

29th rebill = She probably forgot she is still with you, but you keep fucking her once a month while she is on crack

SteveLightspeed · 07-29-2005, 12:13 PM

Here's another

CCbill scrub = you are doing great with her, but Ron is there handing out brochures about promiscuity and STDS

alexg · 07-29-2005, 12:18 PM

awesome

Jakke PNG · 07-29-2005, 12:29 PM

submitting a gallery = You're drunk as fuck and hoping the doorman lets you in
submitting a gallery with partner account = You're drunk as fuck and know the doorman, he might still not let you in.
paid gallery spot = You're drunk as fuck but the doorman owes you one.

corvette · 07-29-2005, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightspeed

Scumware = she fucks someone who is just pretending to be you

let me amend this one:

scumware = you take her home and later, you walk her out the door when she is leaving...but a few nights later you notice your closet door is cracked open, your drawers ruffled through and your credit cards rearranged in your wallet

SteveLightspeed · 07-29-2005, 12:41 PM

Prechecked cross sell = all your friends fuck her after she passes out

SteveLightspeed · 07-29-2005, 12:46 PM

Selling your member list = writing her phone number on the mens room wall

SteveLightspeed · 07-29-2005, 12:49 PM

Emailing your ex-members = drunken midnight booty call

Rui · 07-29-2005, 12:51 PM

lol nice one :p

Rinaldo · 07-29-2005, 12:52 PM

Blind link = Your friends set you up with a hot chick but she wasn't told you were fat so she leaves

SteveLightspeed · 07-29-2005, 12:58 PM

affiliate program = you give your best pickup lines to your buddy (free content), pay his way into the club (free hosting), and even buy all the drinks he wants (free hosted galleries), and let him fuck her at your house (your paysite)

revshare = she gives you head while he's fucking her, every time
pps = you get sloppy seconds, but she's yours after the first time

jaYMan · 07-29-2005, 12:59 PM

My dick would be sore ;)

SteveLightspeed · 07-29-2005, 01:02 PM

Typein traffic = you were the best fuck she ever had

or

she read YOUR number on the bathroom wall

Manowar · 07-29-2005, 01:05 PM

SteveLightspeed · 07-29-2005, 01:07 PM

These are too easy, they practically write themselves

Shoplifter · 07-29-2005, 01:17 PM

Ibill steals all your rebills = You get arrested for 2257 violations and get repeatedly Dirty Sanchez'd in the pen.

ninavain · 07-29-2005, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightspeed

Thats more like a server crash after the sale.

wouldn't a cross sale mean= you fucked her and her brother.

SteveLightspeed · 07-29-2005, 02:32 PM

all the infected chicks in the bar are clearly marked = ccbill and epoch share the negative scrub list

High Quality · 07-29-2005, 02:33 PM

Steve that is hilarious.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightspeed

Getting listed on a big tgp = going to a club

Getting a gallery view = making eye contact

Getting a click through to the tour = talking to a hot girl

Closes the tour without a sale, pops exit console = She's not into you. Introduce her to your friends as a favor to them.

Click through to the join page = she's interested

Fills out the join form = she's partying back at your place

Sale declined by bank = she doesn't want to cheat on her boyfriend

Bank error = she forgot she was on her period

Making a trial sale = she gives you a handjob

Making a full sale = getting laid

Void = she fucks you, but won't let you cum

Sale that cancels before first rebill = one night stand

Failed Rebill = She wants you to call, but you lost her number

Rebill = you fuck her again

Refund = she tells you that you are lousy in bed

Chargeback = she tells everyone you know that you are lousy in bed

SteveLightspeed · 07-29-2005, 02:33 PM

getting signups from a carder = fucking a hooker who has VD

SteveLightspeed · 07-29-2005, 02:35 PM

Low CCbill scrub = Ron points out all the slutty chicks

SteveLightspeed · 07-29-2005, 02:43 PM

Damn, is this thing ON? These are GOLD I tell you.. GOLD!

SteveLightspeed · 07-29-2005, 02:51 PM

impression = you look good
raw hit = she looks at you
unique hit = she smiles at you
2ndpage hit = she talks to you
join page hit = she's into you
join = score!

Doctor Dre · 07-29-2005, 02:53 PM

Somebody had a lot of time alone with not much work to do ...

SteveLightspeed · 07-29-2005, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doctor Dre

Somebody had a lot of time alone with not much work to do ...

Yeah, I'm bored. And people keep icqing me new ones to add.

Basic_man · 07-29-2005, 02:56 PM

Mouhahahaha, that's too funny. Some times you must get out of the porn industry and enjoy real life :P

strobi · 07-29-2005, 03:04 PM

hahaha Steve, you're on the roll! nice one!

Trax · 07-29-2005, 03:19 PM

haha nice list

JJ Gold · 07-29-2005, 03:27 PM

Lightspeed is also a comedy genius!

Rand · 07-29-2005, 03:31 PM

Steve - This is the funniest thing I've read all year.

This deserves some kind of award.
*Right Click* [SAVE]

Nasty D · 07-29-2005, 03:42 PM

Rebill = you fuck her again, but she doesn't really get much out of it

LOL

Yanks_Todd · 07-29-2005, 03:45 PM

Unauthorized Redirect= Her best friend decides it's time to expolre her bi-curiousity

SteveLightspeed · 07-29-2005, 03:45 PM

bookmarker = fuck buddy

SteveLightspeed · 07-29-2005, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rand

Steve - This is the funniest thing I've read all year.

This deserves some kind of award.
*Right Click* [SAVE]

Thanks Rand!

wedouglas · 07-29-2005, 03:47 PM

Well, then im about 120 fucks under what I should be this month...

SteveLightspeed · 07-29-2005, 03:48 PM

Going to a different bar (or city) hoping to have better luck = switching sponsors or processors

SteveLightspeed · 07-29-2005, 03:51 PM

0:10,000 conversions = you have food in your teeth, wrong clothes, unzipped fly, bad hair, horrible acne, thick glasses, and toilet paper stuck to your shoe

BradM · 07-29-2005, 03:52 PM

That was REALLY funny!

BradM · 07-29-2005, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightspeed

Going to a different bar (or city) hoping to have better luck = switching sponsors or processors

Switching from Lightspeed to Dormbucks = Screwing the ugly chick while you were drunk

07-29-2005, 01:33 AM	#51
Jman Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Canuckstikan Posts: 22,790	Dude I think you should come up to Canadia... We need to hook up ;-) __________________ email: [email protected] Best AI Affiliate Program Niche Dating Program PPS! FantasyXXX.AI Teams: jean.francois.laverdiere TG: @jman1216

07-29-2005, 01:38 AM	#52
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	Wow, wasn't I just there? I'm staying home for a while. I'm afraid I can't make Miami, but I'll see you in Amsterdam in Sept! __________________ Abra-cadabra!

07-29-2005, 02:01 AM	#56
zvik Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: zvik.com Posts: 696	If all this was true you'd probably find yourself in bed with a man __________________ http://www.zvik.com Graphic design with a different type of mind ICQ: 198-346-607

07-29-2005, 02:23 AM	#58
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	Last one: You have freaky, kinky, crazy, interracial sex = CCbills pays via Epassporte __________________ Abra-cadabra!

07-29-2005, 02:54 AM	#60
Major (Tom) White Pride Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Null Posts: 31,229	Steve, those are some great analogies man. very clever Duke __________________ WHITE LIVES MATTER

07-29-2005, 01:48 AM	#53
BellaSeaira Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 339	lol that was great..

07-29-2005, 01:53 AM	#54
mkx Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Toronto Posts: 4,001	lol that was a good one

07-29-2005, 02:21 AM	#57
perfectodollars-gabrio Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: www.perfectodollars.com Posts: 3,811	the last one was priceless!

07-29-2005, 02:36 AM	#59
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	LoLs! that's funny. :D

07-29-2005, 12:12 PM	#61
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	Bump for the day crew, in case you missed it __________________ Abra-cadabra!

07-29-2005, 12:12 PM	#62
STTBoss Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: CZ Posts: 225	OK, here is one more: 29th rebill = She probably forgot she is still with you, but you keep fucking her once a month while she is on crack __________________ TrafficAdept.com GET BETTER QUALITY TRAFFIC GET PAID MORE TO SELL TRAFFIC by DamageX and STTBoss

07-29-2005, 12:13 PM	#63
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	Here's another CCbill scrub = you are doing great with her, but Ron is there handing out brochures about promiscuity and STDS __________________ Abra-cadabra!

07-29-2005, 12:18 PM	#64
alexg IL4L.com Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Israel - ICQ: 162136565 Posts: 11,287	awesome __________________ Find fuck buddies in your area!

07-29-2005, 12:29 PM	#65
Jakke PNG ex-TeenGodFather Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Suomi Finland Perkele Posts: 20,306	submitting a gallery = You're drunk as fuck and hoping the doorman lets you in submitting a gallery with partner account = You're drunk as fuck and know the doorman, he might still not let you in. paid gallery spot = You're drunk as fuck but the doorman owes you one. __________________ ..and I'm off.

07-29-2005, 12:41 PM	#67
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	Prechecked cross sell = all your friends fuck her after she passes out __________________ Abra-cadabra!

07-29-2005, 12:46 PM	#68
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	Selling your member list = writing her phone number on the mens room wall __________________ Abra-cadabra!

07-29-2005, 12:49 PM	#69
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	Emailing your ex-members = drunken midnight booty call __________________ Abra-cadabra! Last edited by SteveLightspeed; 07-29-2005 at 12:50 PM..

07-29-2005, 12:51 PM	#70
Rui web Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: On icq: 85-483-060 Posts: 9,533	lol nice one :p

07-29-2005, 12:52 PM	#71
Rinaldo Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: South Florida Posts: 5,086	Blind link = Your friends set you up with a hot chick but she wasn't told you were fat so she leaves

07-29-2005, 12:58 PM	#72
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	affiliate program = you give your best pickup lines to your buddy (free content), pay his way into the club (free hosting), and even buy all the drinks he wants (free hosted galleries), and let him fuck her at your house (your paysite) revshare = she gives you head while he's fucking her, every time pps = you get sloppy seconds, but she's yours after the first time __________________ Abra-cadabra! Last edited by SteveLightspeed; 07-29-2005 at 01:01 PM..

07-29-2005, 12:59 PM	#73
jaYMan peace&profit, Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 4,885	My dick would be sore ;) __________________ peace&profit, jaYMan

07-29-2005, 01:02 PM	#74
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	Typein traffic = you were the best fuck she ever had or she read YOUR number on the bathroom wall __________________ Abra-cadabra! Last edited by SteveLightspeed; 07-29-2005 at 01:04 PM..

07-29-2005, 01:05 PM	#75
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528

07-29-2005, 01:07 PM	#76
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	These are too easy, they practically write themselves __________________ Abra-cadabra!

07-29-2005, 01:17 PM	#77
Shoplifter Richest man in Babylon Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Posts: 10,002 Posts: 5,742	Ibill steals all your rebills = You get arrested for 2257 violations and get repeatedly Dirty Sanchez'd in the pen.

07-29-2005, 02:32 PM	#79
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	all the infected chicks in the bar are clearly marked = ccbill and epoch share the negative scrub list __________________ Abra-cadabra!

07-29-2005, 02:33 PM	#81
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	getting signups from a carder = fucking a hooker who has VD __________________ Abra-cadabra!

07-29-2005, 02:35 PM	#82
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	Low CCbill scrub = Ron points out all the slutty chicks __________________ Abra-cadabra!

07-29-2005, 02:43 PM	#83
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	Damn, is this thing ON? These are GOLD I tell you.. GOLD! __________________ Abra-cadabra!

07-29-2005, 02:51 PM	#84
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	impression = you look good raw hit = she looks at you unique hit = she smiles at you 2ndpage hit = she talks to you join page hit = she's into you join = score! __________________ Abra-cadabra!

07-29-2005, 02:56 PM	#87
Basic_man Programming King Pin Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Montreal Posts: 27,360	Mouhahahaha, that's too funny. Some times you must get out of the porn industry and enjoy real life :P __________________ UUGallery Builder - automated photo/video gallery plugin for Wordpress! Stop looking! Checkout Naked Hosting, online since 1999 !

07-29-2005, 03:04 PM	#88
strobi Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Belgium Posts: 7,383	hahaha Steve, you're on the roll! nice one!

07-29-2005, 03:19 PM	#89
Trax [----------------------] Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 14,486	haha nice list

07-29-2005, 03:27 PM	#90
JJ Gold Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 1,969	Lightspeed is also a comedy genius!

07-29-2005, 03:31 PM	#91
Rand Industry Vet Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Santa Monica, CA Posts: 2,663	Steve - This is the funniest thing I've read all year. This deserves some kind of award. Right Click [SAVE] __________________ -- Rand Payment Industry - Communications - Quality Assurance