God & Darwin Were Right... Just Watched Jerry Springer... - GoFuckYourself.com

Greg B · 04-25-2005, 11:47 AM

After watching this show for the first time in who knows when (probably 7 years) I have come to the conclusion that the Book of Genesis AND Charles Darwin are both correct.

#1, given half the chance women will not listen to either man nor God and pick the most unnecessary evil around.

#2, If you've studied primatology and observe the brutal and savage world of Chimpanzees, you will notice the only difference between humans and chimps is that we wear watches and they don't.

Meta Ridley · 04-25-2005, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greg B

After watching this show for the first time in who knows when (probably 7 years) I have come to the conclusion that the Book of Genesis AND Charles Darwin are both correct.

#1, given half the chance women will not listen to either man nor God and pick the most unnecessary evil around.

#2, If you've studied primatology and observe the brutal and savage world of Chimpanzees, you will notice the only difference between humans and chimps is that we wear watches and they don't.

Good point.

leedsfan · 04-25-2005, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greg B

After watching this show for the first time in who knows when (probably 7 years) I have come to the conclusion that the Book of Genesis AND Charles Darwin are both correct.

#1, given half the chance women will not listen to either man nor God and pick the most unnecessary evil around.

#2, If you've studied primatology and observe the brutal and savage world of Chimpanzees, you will notice the only difference between humans and chimps is that we wear watches and they don't.

I would argue that you pretty much sum up anyone that watches jerry spinger. The rest of the world can actually hold a conversation without shagging their sister, or cheating on their spouse.

Greg B · 04-25-2005, 10:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by leedsfan

I would argue that you pretty much sum up anyone that watches jerry spinger. The rest of the world can actually hold a conversation without shagging their sister, or cheating on their spouse.

ROFL!!!

I saw some shit today on that show that made me wonder if mankind really had a chance.

reynold · 04-26-2005, 04:08 AM

#2, If you've studied primatology and observe the brutal and savage world of Chimpanzees, you will notice the only difference between humans and chimps is that we wear watches and they don't.

this is a good point.

Marcus Aurelius · 04-26-2005, 04:10 AM

Well fuck. I dont wear a watch, im screwed. Although being a chimp would explain my excessive masturbation habits.

Violetta · 04-26-2005, 04:11 AM

lol... I dont wear a watch either!

leedsfan · 04-26-2005, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mdcq

Well fuck. I dont wear a watch, im screwed. Although being a chimp would explain my excessive masturbation habits.

"i sale content...."

mardigras · 04-26-2005, 11:49 AM

I turned on Springer the other day and for the first time I can remember in forever it wasn't about "surprising" someone that their partner was cheating on them. It was about a couple in the Klan and their family members upset with them.

They need to go back to other oddball stories.

Greg B · 04-26-2005, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mdcq

Well fuck. I dont wear a watch, im screwed. Although being a chimp would explain my excessive masturbation habits.

Here's some news for ya pal, chimps, monkeys and other primates masturbate like there's no tomorrow.

The great apes are 'eewwwwww' with a capital 'eewwwww'.

They'll actually eat their feces to get that tasty meal that didn't digest all the way. The chimps will even steal food from humans and leave a pile of shit in return. To them a turd is fair trade like the Euro and the Dollar.

Chimps are voracious murderers and child killers. Notorious for kidnapping human and other animals' babies and eating them.

They'll fuck anything that's too slow or weak to get away and will lie through their teeth when they've done something wrong.

You have to remember, a chimp is as smart as a 4 or 6 year old kid. Just think how sharp you were at those ages. I was reading, making my own comic books, watching the evening news and getting every damn bit of the info.

I have 3 friends who raise monkeys/apes for circuses, tv, movies. I've seen chimps do everything people do including use a tv remote to scan the channels for t&a and NASCAR. Drink beer, smoke cigarettes, talk shit.

Don't count them out! Gorillas on the other hand are far more gentle and less disgusting as chimps. Yet the last thing on Earth you want is to piss one off. They'll tear you apart like you would a wet paper towel.

Bottom line is chimps are the closest primate relative to humans and tv shows never, ever go into detail about their behavior because there is literally nothing they do that humans don't also do.

Maybe I shouldn't have said the only difference is that human's wear watches, what I should have said that the only difference is that humans WORRY about time.

longbrick · 04-26-2005, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greg B

After watching this show for the first time in who knows when (probably 7 years) I have come to the conclusion that the Book of Genesis AND Charles Darwin are both correct.

#1, given half the chance women will not listen to either man nor God and pick the most unnecessary evil around.

#2, If you've studied primatology and observe the brutal and savage world of Chimpanzees, you will notice the only difference between humans and chimps is that we wear watches and they don't.

I'm going to have to agree on this. must have food now!

04-26-2005, 04:11 AM	#7
Violetta Affiliate Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 28,735	lol... I dont wear a watch either! __________________ M&A Queen

04-26-2005, 11:49 AM	#9
mardigras Bon temps! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: down yonder Posts: 14,194	I turned on Springer the other day and for the first time I can remember in forever it wasn't about "surprising" someone that their partner was cheating on them. It was about a couple in the Klan and their family members upset with them. They need to go back to other oddball stories. __________________ .

04-25-2005, 11:47 AM	#1
Greg B So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: EARTH (for the time being) Posts: 7,014	God & Darwin Were Right... Just Watched Jerry Springer... After watching this show for the first time in who knows when (probably 7 years) I have come to the conclusion that the Book of Genesis AND Charles Darwin are both correct. #1, given half the chance women will not listen to either man nor God and pick the most unnecessary evil around. #2, If you've studied primatology and observe the brutal and savage world of Chimpanzees, you will notice the only difference between humans and chimps is that we wear watches and they don't.

04-26-2005, 04:08 AM	#5
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	#2, If you've studied primatology and observe the brutal and savage world of Chimpanzees, you will notice the only difference between humans and chimps is that we wear watches and they don't. this is a good point.

04-26-2005, 04:10 AM	#6
Marcus Aurelius No Refunds Issued. Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 14,809	Well fuck. I dont wear a watch, im screwed. Although being a chimp would explain my excessive masturbation habits.