Did you really find a stray dog? I mean, I know you're joking about the rest, but really found a dog, yey or nay?
I always see strays around and just wish that I didn't have a job to go to when I see them, cuz if I didn't, I'd spend all day trying to find the owner. So many poor cats and dogs that run off, then they get hit by cars and it's just so sad. All the while they're owners are just missing them.
The last stray I found was a little black pug. Couldn't find his owner, so we ended up keeping him and named him Herman.
Had to eventually give him away because we had to move, but gave him to a really great family with kids. I miss him.