35. Do you do drugs? Do you get drunk? Discuss.
Yes I do drugs.
Surprise, surprise, surprise.
It shouldn't be really, I have always been open and honest about it.
The point that must be made clear is that I DO DRUGS, DRUGS DO NOT DO ME.
I probably don't do anywhere near as much as some may think I do, and I may do more than some expect. It is generally shows and party occasions, but I definitely do NOT need them to function.
How can I say all of this so clearly and definitely ?
Because there have been times in my life when I had SERIOUS drug problems, so I do well know the difference between recreation and an issue....
I have never been much for grass or acid or downers of most descriptions, but speed, coke and ecstacy fit my ADHD personality type. No smoking or injecting or any of that for me in this day and age - drugs enhance for me, do not detract and I HATE being out of control.
There was a time when I used to boot speed through a pick in the corner of the eyes - right into the tear ducts. No blood, no mess, no track marks. I was out of control.
I do drugs these days, they don't do me, and to steal a line from Wizzo's Ambush,
"There is a time and a place for everything."
When I drink, I drink ****A LOT****. But I don't drink all the time. I can go weeks without a drink, but then easily drink for 3 or 4 days straight without sleep or rest. Call it practice or call it training or just call it abnornal intenstinal fortitude.
I am not a vomiter from alcohol nor drugs, never have been, never will be. If I am sick, there is a reason beyond that, and I stop, no question.
At the end of the day I don't really need both - in fact I think others around me need me to do it more than I need it myself. I am a MUCH easier person to at least try and understand if people are able to justify my actions and behaviour by associating it with drug and/or alcohol use.
Anyone who knows me at all knows that the more out of control I seem, the more in control I am.
My good friend and doctor once said to me, after noting liver function tests that are still fine and well within acceptable limits despite the self-abuse my body receives from me,
Lindsay, one day science is going to perfect a bio-engineered waster treatment system, and that system is going to be based on your liver."
With the shit I have put in my system over the years, and for the extended periods I have done this, I should be long gone.
But I will continue to be who I am and do the things I do until it no longer suits me to do so, OR until I think I need to change.
In the meantime, I continue to march to the beat of my own drum.
I should point out here that there are a couple of things I do NOT tolerate when it comes to drug and or drink:
# 1 - I do NOT tolerate pressure being put on people who do not want to do or do anymore of anything, I RESPECT their rights fully.
# 2 - I do NOT tolerate holier than thou attitudes about what I do - I will respect your rights not to do so if you will also respect my rights to do so.
Each to their own.
I am a firm believer in EVERYTHING in moderation, INCLUDING moderation.
