26. Any kids? discuss
Hmmmmmmm.
SHORT VERSION, FUNNIER, BUT STILL GROUNDED IN FACT
None that I know of.
But seriously, one day I fully expect to get the knock on the door.
When I open it, some boy/girl aged between say 5 to 23 years (less than 5, they wouldn't be able to find my place yet !!) would look up at me and say, "Dad ?".
My answer would be "Probably.", followed by "Don't bother to tell me your mother's name, it most likely won't make it any simpler.", finally followed by, "Which kidney do you want ?".
And that would be about that.
LONGER VERSION, SOMEWHAT SCARY, BUT FULLY FACTUAL
In my early 20's, at the height of my short, but illustrious career as a "pretend" boxer, I had also started some part-time nightclub security to keep myself amused and busy outside of my "vanilla" day job.
Also at this one club I worked at was an gorgeous waitress, Rebecca, and her boyfriend, Tony, a New Zealand Maori who was one of my bouncer compatriats. He was also a total cock and he treated Rebecca really badly.
Bec and myself flirted heaps, but it was always the flirtiness between a couple that would never come to any fruition becasie of circumstances...
One night, well after midnight, there was a beating on the front door of the condominimum I lived in....
Rebecca with bag, tears streaming out of her eye, was there, standing at my door......
The following 6 weeks while Rebecca stayed with me consisted of little more than having sex in every possible permutation and combination ever devised either prior to, during and ever since the publication of the the "Karma Sutra" in every nook, cranny and crevice of the condo, and the occasional break while we waited for the pizza guy to arrive.
One day I awoke and Rebecca was again standing in front of me, tears again streaming out of her eyes, and she told me she was going back to Tony.
It wasn't as heartbreaking as one may think - ours was a purely carnal attraction and the relationship was never deeper than our last fuck.
I didn't see her after that, what with us both not turning up for work at the club in the previous 6 weeks, and I just moved on. Sometime later I had heard on the grapevine that she was still with Tony and was pregnant. I paid no mind, but hoped she was well and happy.
Fast forward about 18 months, and I was by thenworking my nice cushy Government job, when one of the counter girls comes into my office and tells me their is a girl at the counter asking to see me.
Rebecca of course, was standing there, with a bundle in her arms.
A little bundle, a baby. And a cute little tyke.
She explained that her and Tony and the baby girl were moving back to New Zealand (where Tony, the Maori was from) and that they were getting married and Tony had a really good job lined up with his uncle's company, and that she was really looking forward to a new life and they would probably never see me again.....
I admit, I was totally befuddled by the whole conversation.
So, I sort of said "Ok, that's great", and asked how she'd been. She said she was great and that the little girl was now right on 18 months old and was healthy and great.
We said goodbye and she left.
I don't know whether it was 5 minutse after I returned to my office and sat down or 55 minutes when I started to think.... then I did the 18 month math.... then I realized that that the "baby bundle" has a shock of straight white blond hair and was fair skinned, HOT dark haired and dark skinned like her "father".
Fuck me dead.
Have never heard so much as a whisper since.
She'd be 18 or so now.
AS IT IS VERSION, DAY TO DAY REALITY BITES
I broke up with my last girlfriend about 2 years ago. We had been together about 2 years. She had 2 marvellous kids, Nate (now 6) and Maddy (now almost 10).
I stayed with Leisa for the last 1 1/2 months of our relationship for 2 reasons - Maddy and Nate.
Biologically they may not been mine, but trust me, they are mine.
Nate calls me Dad and Maddy, even though she calls me Lindsay, introduces me as her father.
On both counts it was their idea to do so.
Neither of their real fathers play much, if any, of a role in their lives.
Maddy and I always hit it off, and a couple of years back, Nate broke his leg at Kindergarten, spent 2 weeks in hospital in traction, and then 2 1/2 months at home in a full body plaster cast.
To say we bonded is the understatement of the century.
He, I and Cartoon Network have an indelibile lifetime understanding.
Luckily Leisa and I remain friends, and my access to the kids is totally unhindered. She even changed her will so that if anything ever happened to her, the kids come to me.
They are my kids, I miss them terribly when I am away on my trips, and I spend as much time as possible with them when I back home.
They are part of the package.
