3. What's with the facination in dressing up in woman's underwear?
It's not MY fascination in the dress up, it's EVERYONE ELSE'S fascination where the key to the answer to this question lies....
And it's not just about the dress up, it could be the undressing, the simulated (?) man love or any other crazy assed shit that tickles my fancy at the time.
Again it's about being comfortable in your own skin, about who you are, where you come from and where you are going. I know who I am, I know what motivates me, what makes me tick, and I GENUINELY like who I am.
And in that is the secret, some people may say they don't give a fuck, I just don't, so the inhibition level is negligible.
It never ceases to provide me with constant amusement how people have so much fun in watching me just do crazy shit for my own entertainment.
I don't TRY to do things, and I don't do them because of some inherent ego need, or because I need the attention, I do it because it is fucking fun. I am definitely not some performing seal, I am in control ALL the time.
Many have heard me note, "The more out of control I seem, the more in control I am."
You see, it's not what you do, it's how you do it. It's the intent behind it.
I think it is most enjoyable because pretty much everyone around sees just how much fun I am having and laughs WITH me, not at me. Not that laughing AT me would bother me one iota anyway.
I spent a lot of my past life taking energy (amongst other things) from all around me - I was the consumate asshole. These days I do because I can - I give of myself and my energy freely, to those who deserve... and there come in the antics, the hugs, the manner, the smile.
I get just as much, if not more out of it than those around me.
The ability and gumption to do and say the things that many in life wish they could do or say is truly a gift that I treasure.
Now, it's either all of that or an underlying expression of the fact that I may actually really be gay.
