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Originally Posted by SleazyDream
i'm not sure an intervention will work
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It might not work.
I had a very close girlfriend in an abusive relationship. She would come to me, bruised and battered, and I always nursed her back to health, and she always went back to him. One time she came over seriously wounded. He had threatened to kill her, and had nearly run her over, as well as leaving multipe brusies, roadrash from dragging her across the road, and various other injuries. I nursed her back to health again, and convinced her to go to the ER, but when she left, she changed her mind. (I have little kids, so I couldn't go with her.)
After much, MUCH careful thought, I decided I had to DO something, or I couldn't honestly call myself her friend. I contacted her brother, and told him what happened. I hoped and expected her family to step in, and I expected the BF, who was on parole, to get arrested, which would give her time to get herself together and realize she didn't need him, and it was a bad relationship. I knew it was a risk, though, and that in her present state, she would consider it a betrayal. But I couldn't stand by and do nothing. I'd rather her be alive and hate me then love me until he killed her, yanno?
It didn't turn out like I hoped. Her family bought her "I wrecked in an ATV" story, or at least didn't DO anything about it...she was avoiding seeing them, naturally, but I thought they'd think it was important enough to go to her work, or track her down and at least SEE what was supposedly accidental injuries. I did get the chance to explain to her why I did it, but she's only called me once in the past year since it happened, so I guess she doesn't "get it" yet.
But I know that when she does finally realize how bad he is, she'll know she can come to me for help. I just hope he doesn't kill her first, but the fact is, it is out of my hands. I did ALL I can do. Watching her go back was killing me, because I love her. You do what you can to help the people you love, but if they are unwilling to accept help, you have to do what's best for YOU and step back from the situation.