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I would keep a line of communication open with the neice, and always let her know you are there for her. But please don't put the neice in the middle of yours and her mother's problems. To SOME degree, you need to honor the Mother in this situation, the neice is her child afterall, and she should be respected as such. As a mom, if I found out ANYONE, much less a sibling was going behind my back and my wishes about my children, I pretty much sense they are up to no good, and that never sets well with a Mother. If it was as bad as you say it is between you and the sister, no telling WHAT she has in her head, if she is a lunatic, luckily I am not a lunatic and I don't have this to deal with in my immediate family....... but have dealt with it.
My mother and I hated and still hate each other and I have a little sister I adored, I tried so hard to have a relationship with my baby sister, but my mom would make HER life miserable when she and I tried to have a relationship, and it was hard on my sister. So I have a little of a first hand knowledge into this.
As much as I love my sister, I had to walk away so she would be able to finish school and have a life that wasn't as stressful because my mom made her feel like hell, told her she must not love her if she was talking to me, always accusing me of turning her against her, her of telling me how bad a mom she was and so on. It just wasn't good on my little sister. And as an Adult, I had to make a really hard decision. I told my sister I loved her and would always be here for her, but that I wanted her to be happy and still depending on my mom, she wasn't going to be as long as I was in her world.
With those psycho moms, sometimes we have to make decisions that aren't so easy for the sake of the other CHILDREN involved. I don't say walk away from her, my situation was far different, but I do say that to some degree, you are going ot have to honor the mom here. Do what is right for YOUR NEICE. Make up with the mom, or whatever, if it is possible. If it is this important to you, swallow whatever you need to and have some sort of relationship with your sister to be around your neice. Having a relationship with my mother wasn't an option.. but might be in your case. But man, a pshycho mom can really make even her own child's life hell if she feels threatened or betrayed.
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