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I rescued a gray several years ago. He is the coolest bird but to this day I still cannot handle him. I can pet him through the cage etc. but that is about it. He will come outside and hang out but does not like to be handled. I found out later he was in a terrible aviary type situation so I don't pressure him anymore. He is very content (whistles, talks etc.)
Those I consulted about it tell me repetitive training helps. Get them to trust you with food. Make them step up (you know the "up up" command) to get a treat. It takes a lot of work but your husband cannot show aggression or fear.
There is a lot of good online sources to consult on this.
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