my process
pack 5 min before leaving for airport
stop at liquor store, waste 5 minutes buying industrial sized jaeger bottle
have driver speed me to airport, play Po-Po lookout for driver
utilize first class line with economy ticket. plead stupidity, miss line
rush through security, don't remove shoes
pop valiums upon exiting security line, down jack n coke chaser at airport bar
arrive at gate 5 min before flight departure
board plane, (murphys law will dictate that i get seated next to the most boring loser person on the plane)
oooops, valium kicks in, night night loser
wake up in phoenix to stewardess asking me if i am continuing to oakland, FUCK NO!
get bags at claim, taxi to hotel, check in
realize i forgot most of what i should have brought
ensue shopping trip in tempe on mill street where all the college girlies are.
the end
