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What I think is totally crazy is that you folks don't have a conversation with your girlfriends/boyfriends when you first start dating as to what is cheating and what isn't cheating.
I'm a swinger and have negotiated all the things that I (and my man) are allowed to do with full approval of the other partner. You know what WE consider cheating and a total deal breaker??? Fucking somebody WITHOUT USING CONDOMS. That's the only thing that we consider cheating.
Next time you want to figure out if what your girlfriend/boyfriend was doing was cheating, have a conversation with them (ideally when you first start dating) and negotiate the ground rules. Then everybody knows up front what is acceptable and not, so when a rule is broken it is completely clear that this is a violation of the relationship agreement.
You crazy serial monogamists and your lack of communication and negotiation skills!
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