RogerV

take it easy on me smokey I'm just a tadpole

Smokey the Bear has been unjustly blaming me for forest fires for years now, and I'm not going to take it anymore. I mean, sure, I have no problem doing my part when camping. I always obtain a permit before setting up my camp fire, I don't smoke cigarettes and flick them into the woods, and I make sure to put out my campfire and cover it with dirt before going to sleep. But shit, man, why does that damn bear expect me to be accountable for the actions of others?

Why is it only me who can prevent idiots from leaving their stoves on, playing with gasoline, or falling asleep on a hammock while smoking a cigarrete in their back yards? Shouldn't they have to take some responsibility in the matter? Nooo... it is only me to whom the hairy clawed finger of blame is pointed. Well, I just can't take the harrassment anymore, Smokey. I am a human being, and I have feelings, too. And don't even get me started on the countless flame thrower accidents Smokey blames me for.

You should see the look in his eyes every time an acre or two of woodlands is consumed in an accidental blaze. He just glares at me, points, and claims, "Only YOU can prevent forest fires," as if it was my fault.

Recently, it has been getting worse. Smokey has not only been blaming me for the accidents others cause, he has been blaming me for natural disasters as well. I fear Smokey's drinking habit may be effecting his judgement, cause recently I have been the one he blames whenever lightning strikes or a volcano erupts.

God, sometimes I don't think this relationship is going to work. I mean, I love Smokey the Bear, but I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to absorb all the abuse. I have to wake up every day at 5:00am to scan the paper to remove all news of fires just to keep Smokey from beating me.

Why is it only me, Smokey? I am no superhero; I am but one man. Jesus, I am not even qualified to stop fires. I am no fireman. If there is anyone that should be responsible for fire prevention it should be the Fire Departments, damnit. They've got highly trained professional fire fighters, fire trucks, high powered hoses, fire suits, an efficient system which alarms them of fires in the area, helicopters, dalmations, and those pimp-ass fire poles. If anything, Smokey, point the finger at the Fire Departments and leave me the hell alone. I am a 21 year old college student. I should be responsible for papers, tests, and massive drinking... not fire prevention.