Quote:
Originally posted by Trixxxia
Ok... all my life I thought 'if you play with fire you're gonna get burned' so if you aren't ready to suffer the consequences, then don't play the game. I was very closed-minded at the time and basically, never bothered with anybody's excuses.
I had a friend who was getting married and her husband-to-be's sole objective was to have another child and to get her pregnant, preferably after they married but it happened before. He was the happiest man on earth until she reached her 11th week - then he decides that he doesn't want the baby - So there were decisions she had to make and fast - by the 10th week the embryo is considered a fetus and the risks of cancer and death for the mother would be considerably higher. Although this was not her choice, she either went ahead with it, or faced bringing up a child on her own (he wanted nothing to do with it). Seeing his crazy behaviour, she no longer wanted anything to do with him - and he vowed that he would make her life miserable (for the next 18 years) if she continued the pregnancy. So she went ahead and had the abortion (while he watched) and was miserable for a long time after that.
When I heard her story, in my opinion, she did the right thing. Rather than having that child suffer with a father that didn't want it *anymore* (like if it was something he bought in a moment of weakness) - or give it up for adoption - she decided to put a stop to everyone's misery.
Was it the best choice? I don't know, but I can only imagine that it's not easy making decisions like that especially when the baby was desired and not a *mistake*.
I don't agree with women who have sex unprotected, have different partners and have abortions because they can't use protection or withdrawal method or swallow (last I heard, that doesn't get you pregnant). Nor do I agree with men who claim *baby, its just not the same with a rubber on* or *let me explode just this once inside of you - nothing's gonna happen....trust me* Everyone's got a responsibility. I think ultimately, there should be a choice - preferably, it should be taken prior to the stick going in for a dip - but rather than having a bunch of unwanted - not cared for - abandoned - or even worse, finding babies left to die on the streets hours after birth, women should have a choice to terminate it.
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Trixxie, I've met lots of people who were abandoned or unwanted by their father, and most of them would not have wanted to miss out on their life despite that one bad turn.
However, in THAT situation in particular, I do think the guy shouldn't be forced to get married, but should have been legally forced to support the child.