Once, when I was kid (like 10), I came in from playing outside all day and realized I had a great big dump to take, for having over-held it too long, for never wanting to come in from playing. It all whooshed out in about 2 seconds. When I looked in to see what I had made, I laid eyes on the largest continuous piece of excrement I had ever seen. The uber-turd was so long, it made a ring all the waaaay around the bowl, and the ends crossed with about 3 inches to spare at each end --
