I've got to get this out.
So I'm banging my wife and she reaches around and fingers my butthole, just like normal right?
Well I got this 'rhoid that reacts, let's just say "explosively" to her fingernail.
I start screaming in agony and we get in this HUGE fight 'cuz I'm flailing around trying to get off her and accidently punch her in the head.
During the argument she informs me that she's been banging my Dad and that she's leaving me for him.
My ass STILL hurts...