This one just cracked me the fuck up --
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Enroll today for police training.
Date: Feb 8, 2006 1:08 PM
You think that you are the type? Do you think that you have what it takes to become a police officer? Do you feel a that you have a need to serve the public trust and to protect others?
Being a police officer, as well as many other local and federal law enforcement officials, all starts with a degree in Criminal Justice.
Wanted for added Homeland Security: Qualified professionals for police work with a degree in Criminal Justice.
http://www.outexample.com/srcjd/
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Quotes By Cops:
"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"
"In God we trust, all others are suspects."
"Just how big were those two beers?"
Police Jokes:
A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife.
"You just won't believe what happened this evening , in all my years on the force I've never seen anything like it."
"Oh yes dear, what happened ?"
"I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks."
"Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks!! What did you do with them ?"
"Oh that was easy, I charged one and let the other off."
Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks.
"I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket."
Amazed, the driver asked for what.
The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."