Are you one? Yup.
Can you write html? Yes.
Do you know your way around photoshop? Still learning, but pretty darn good so far.
How about ftp, telnet, scripts, and mysql dbs? For the most part, yes. Could tighten up some loose ends.
You know anything about automation? ...Like my cock?
Do you know how to read your stats? No, sure dont. 
