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Originally Posted by Pornwolf
Not for nothing, I like both of you ladies here and have enjoyed your posts over the years.
With that said, you guys are taking this issue personally and not looking at it for what it is.When a man marries a smaller girl obviously that package is what turns him on.
We aren't talking about the man that marries the bigger girl, more power to him. Plenty of people do.
We'e not talking about women with medical conditions, pregnant women or even women that are clincally insane and lose control around Ho Ho's.
This coversation if for the other guy. For the guy that marries a small woman obviously some of the attraction dies when the woman gets large. Not that he's not going to still love her, sure on an emotional level he will, but realistically the attraction is going to go away. Cheating is not far behind.
Who wants that to happen? So, it's in the woman's best interest to do what she can to keep that from happening. It's insanely irresponsible for her not to take care of herself and keep that from happening.
Same for the man, no one's claiming a double standard here, we have to keep looking as good as possible as well... although the first priority of a responsible husband is to financially take care of the home which puts us in a different bag.
I'm in the gym at least 4 days a week. 8% bodyfat and plenty of muscle. If my girlfriend starts to gain weight uncontrollably I'm going to help her lose it. But if she gets to the point where she just lets herself go and makes no effort to stay healthy then what the fuck do you expect me to do? Same goes for marriage. At least put in the effort I do.
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I know, I am taking it personally. I am just so sick of the fat discussion, yanno? It comes up over and over again, and to me, it makes me feel like I have to defend people..not so much myself, because, honestly, I AM comfortable with who I am. I know there is room for improvement, but even though I am taking steps NOW to improve, I know my goal is still going to be considered a cow by some of you guys...but that doesn't matter to me. As long as I am happy with my results.
But the fact is that is it fucking HARD to maintain a fit body, and most women are working full time jobs, and most women do the lion's share of the childcare, and the better part of the housework, too. These same guys who bitch are often the ones who will come home from work and sit on their own spreading ass watching the game with a beer while their wife chases four kids around, cooks dinner, gives them all baths, helps with homework, puts them in bed and then does laundry until she has to go to bed for work the next day. If men REALLY care about their women..not even about them being fit, but just caring about their woman in general, instead of bitching, why not tell her you will take over all the house and kids stuff so they can go to the gym after work? Or, better yet, why not start cooking healthy meals together, and getting a sitter so you can go to the gym together? If you don't like your wife's self esteem slipping enough to let an otherwise healthy body go (meaning assuming there are not REAL health reasons she is gaining), shut the fuck up about it, and DO something about it. Tell her how much you love her, tell her you want to live to a ripe old age with her, tell her you want to do it WITH her, so she doesn't feel more ashamed of herself and her body and share even less of it with you.
It's the double standard that pisses me off the most. Not even about LOOKS so much, but about attitude. If you treat a woman like a piece of meat that's only there to satisfy you sexually and who cares about the woman within, sorry, but I don't really think you have any room to bitch about anything..with an attitude like that, you'd be lucky to have ANY woman, lol.
I do understand the point. But you know, when a woman feels good about herself, she wants to be the best she can be. Maybe if men started focusing more on what THEY can do to inspire their women to want to be at their best in the first place, none of this would even become an issue in most cases. When you takes care of us, we WANT to take care of you. I don't mean you pay the bills and you have the right to expect me to kiss you ass. I mean, you tend to my emotional needs, my physical needs, my intellectual needs, and I want to do the same for you. So, it's a chicken and egg issue, really, and you can argue all damn day about which comes first; the bottom line is it doesn't matter-but it takes the bigger person (haha, that's a pun) to say, it doesn't matter where the cycle began...it stops here. I personally think obesity is sometimes a heath issue, but far more often, it is an emotional issue..it's the symptom of a deeper disease, if you follow me. So, curing the symptom is good, but curing the disease is better. (For those who do not follow me, I mean that working out and eating right is all well and good, but it would be better to fix the emotional causes of the weight gain in the first place.)
And, for the record, I like you too, PW.
