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Tube groupie.
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: LoScandalous, CA
Posts: 13,482
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OK, so I wake up the next morning trying to continue the ?romance? from the night before in the sink of our bathroom.
Again, I am triumphant.
It was Saturday, and after three days of being at the AVN ? it was about time that we actually saw the fucking AVN! So we brave hellacious traffic of South Las Vegas Boulevard, scramble to find parking (the Venitian parking is sold out ? who saw that coming?), we stand in line with the AFCs / Hoy Paloy / Plebians to finally get onto the AVN floor:
Yeah, there is about 7 million hot sluts that have jumped pussy first into the jizz biz there (as is well documented in Q?on Blog), but is just too packed with looky loo dorks?it was basically a Star Trek convention with more silicon tits. In time, hangovers gave way to hunger. Since every other big company had a swanky dinner party that week ? we at OCCash did not want to be outdone. Right there on the floor of the AVN show ? we threw ?The OCCash Dinner?. Our only guest was Gerard ?Mr. Romance? from Spacash (Dirty Travel, The Nasty Bus, and Val In Brazil).
Read the details of this glamorous affair here.
Hopefully, we will be on a bigger budget next year and it will be a bigger event.
From there, we milled around the hotel for a while, mooched off Gerard, and finally made our way to a real swanky dinner party ? The Paycom Dinner (you may see their name on your credit card a lot when you join porn sites). It was one well swanktastic / first-class dinner?
Well done guys!
After, mooched off Gerard some more and waited for the AVN awards to end so we could hit some of the after parties. That?s when I got the call from Ali at Topbucks (Couples Seduce Teens and Backseat Bangers). She had two extra tickets for the AVN Awards. That was great, I asked my business partner JC if he wanted to join me ? and for some reason, he just refuses to go. It wasn?t until later. that I found out he didn?t want to be there because he was going to be nominated for directing the best tranny scene (Tranny Hunt).
Me and Mike from Paycom go meet Ali and the gang at the awards ? which can only be best described as unintentionally hilarious (even though it was, ironically, hosted by Greg Fitzsimmons). The best part was when you could cut the tension with a knife in the audience as they waited with baited breath to hear who the winner of ?Best Anal? was. The girl who won it, ironically, had no ass. This is how Susan Sarandon in must have felt after pulling the Oscar ?Thelma & Louise? in 91. After an hour, the novelty wears off, so I figured it would be best to position myself in front of the merciless onslaught of hoy paloy out of the awards and go to the after party at VBar.
On the way out, I am walking past the fans lines up, and hear some guy yelling, ?Cancel my girls gone wild membership muther fucker?? ? the guy next to me whirls his fist around and I duck it be millimeters. It was Joe Francis.
Had he bitch smacked me?he?d be canceling a lot more than a subscription!
So, I make my way in the VBar. It is a who?s who of the porn business, there were AVN?s flying everywhere. Two of my friends won for best MILF (Milfseeker) and best retail (Wantedlist.com), we get our VIP table stocked with my two favorite poisons (Bud Light and Jaugermiester) and it?s off to the races. That night I am pretty stoked, because I was invited to go to a private sex party to hook up with the ultra yummy Brittany Starr (My First Porn Scene) ? whose triple D tits make it in the room five minutes before her and is looking gorgeous.
After a while of throwing down at the VBar, Brittany says that it?s time to go party. Now, Britany is a weird situation: she has a husband (who is a friend and business associate of OCCash), she has a boyfriend, and she wants to trow some pussy at me.
Conundrum, no?
So we wind up at some penthouse suite with a bunch of European mutherfuckers. I can see that hooking up with Brittany may be getting a little complex due to her personal situation ? her husband don?t give a fuck, but her boyfriend was cock blocking like a mofo. It didn?t matter because there was this other MILF chick there that was giving me some play, so I figured that I would roll with that. What was supposed to be a sex party started turning into a drug party, only that I wasn?t indulging because I didn?t want to find myself shoving oysters into a parking meter when it was time to knock boots. At the party, there was this strippery-looking blonde with big cans that looked strangely familiar to me for some reason, but I didn?t know why.
?Do I know you from somewhere?? she enquires.
I think for a minute?yep, this is all coming back to me. ?Yeah.?, I answered, ?We?ve fucked before.?
She was ?Joyride? from the Crazyhorse, who I?d banged maybe 7 or 8 months earlier after talking to her for about 20 minutes.
Ahh, the romance.
This classy girl goes on to introduce her boyfriend to me, but the dude starts acting a little sketchy. For some reason the MILF watches this exchange, gets all flustered, and runs out the door crying.
Crazy bitches.
This ?sex party? was headed nowhere ? people, were starting to get all coked out and extra sketchy.
When in Rome, do as the Romans.
So figuring out there won?t be any bearded-blood-bombing the clam caves that night. I decide to cut my loses and start doing rock star lines of devils dandruff. Around 6AM we leave the penthouse to go to some late night titty bar / tweaker hangout. I get zooted at fuck in all of the single-locking-stall blow-friendly-private bathrooms.
Around 8:30AM, I decide to leave and go back The Venitian to meet up with Chris who was hanging out with American Perv. American Perv was going big (as always) that night?so, I decide it would be a good idea to stay a while, do more weasel dust and finally leave his room at 10:30AM to make the walk of shame Orleans. We had just 10 minutes before we were supposed to check out and drive back to LA.
There was know way I was driving anywhere in this condition. I lay down, with my heart pounding, to finally pass out ? but just before I do ? I pick up the phone and say to the guy at the desk:
?I need to keep the room for and extra night.?
?OK, that will be 80 bucks.?
Sweet?we?d leave when we woke up.
But?
(to be continued?)
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