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Thursday ? I wake up hungover around noon to meet with our accountants. I try to decide which state I live in so the government can best collect my tax dollars. They haven?t gotten enough this year, after all:
From there, it?s for a mad dash to the AVN show because I was speaking on the traffic moderated by Mike from Smashbucks (Pornstar Classics) that included me, Greenguy, Q?on, The Best Porn, Curious Cash, and wait?you ain?t gonna believe this?the guy who was sitting right next to me was figiting in his seat for some reason, you know why? He was the Guy Who Was Stealing Our Yahoo Traffic. I made it to the panel five minutes late with a Bloody Mary in hand and kill the audience with a deadly combination of knowledge, good looks, and patented whit.
After, I talk with my neighbor panelist about his Yahoo antics.
After that, OC Chris and I wander abound the bottom floor of the AVN show for a few minutes, figure out it looks like nothing but a glorified porn shop, get bored, leave without realizing that the main floor of the show was upstairs, we miss the whole thing ? apparently it was the ?industry only? day and loaded with hot puss.
Smooth move, Exlax.
That night we wind up going out to to a dinner with the guys that produce Pussy Punishers and Group Teen Casting and started getting pretty hammered.
We took off from there and wound up at the Twist Club at the Wynn Hotel with S.A.K. from Ass Munchers. We met up with Charlo from Megapornbucks in the VIP area, I took three hits of ecstacy, puked behind all of the tables, and the Charlo stiffed us on the bill and we picked up the bill whole table ? nothing new to Megapornbucks - LOL.
Ironicly, after all the yacking, table stiffing, and narcotics ? I almost get kicked out for wearing a hat.
Clubs can be so gay sometimes.
From there we went of the Spearmint Rhino ? where I tripped my balls until I snorted half and eightball cocaine to ?even things out?. My stripper game is usually grade A, but I was so wasted I could only sit drooling on myself. From there we went back the house, via a 2-limo switcheroo (scam) accompanied by one of the strippers.
At that point, I become by dreaded alter-ego: ?The Vererable and Repected Dr. Stretchnuts? and pulling my nutsuck out at least four inches out of my zipper (much to the horror of everyone else in the room) with a pair of plyers. From there, I vaguely remember chasing the stripper around the house with a pool sick and my nuts hanging out while screaming, ?Who wants to get raped by OCCash!!?
Thankfully, the Xanex finally kicks in and Dr. Stretchnuts passes out in the living room.
The next day?I would feel like the north end of a southbound mule.
We?ll save that for tomorrow?s blog.
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