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Have you tried Cat-Burglar-Dialer?
See a small exe swipes the surfer's addy and sends it to CBDialer.com HQ, then a guy sneaks into the surfer's house when he's at work, logs on his computer and manually switches his ISP to CB Dialer and then the guy surfs porn all day long.
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One thing, I forgot this last detail: the Biz Markie will always prevail.
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