jimthefiend

I walk in to Best Buy, with the kid in tow. Theres this fat fuck in a mothy red parka and sweat pants who reaked of cheap wine standing next to the door ringing a bell over an ashtray looking thingy.

Even Katy (whos 6) is rolling her eyes. I drop a ten into his bucket (out of sheer guilt that I am about to spend 200 bucks on the Power Rangers boxed set for my kid just for the helluva it) and we go in and do our shopping.

On the way out, Mr Stinky Clause is still there and FUCKING BELCHES as we walk by.

Katy, exasperated; exclaims "Daddy!!!" in disgust.

I turn to Santa and say: "Learn some manners fatass".

For like a milisecond, he gets an uppity look in his eyes. I stand there.

It's like that stand off at the end of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Really.



But then the sound of my daughter tapping her little foot breaks the impasse and saves Santa from being brutally murdered by having a large bag of DVDS smashed across the side of his head. He lowers his eyes in submission and thus is allowed to live.


The End, Santa is a pussy.