ring ring....
me- "hello"
myisp- " hi this is ray with your isp"
me- " hi ray, are you calling to give me a discount for the downtime last week ? "
myisp- " huh ?"
me- " you had some downtime last week , i thought maybe you were just calling to apologize and give me a refund, oh whoops wait hell hasn't frozen over "
myisp- " huh?"
me- " never mind i was just joking with you , why did you call ?"
meisp- "we have been monitoring your internet conection over the last month and noticed some spikes in your bandwidth "
me- " cool , i mustbe getting my money's worth , see anything interesting "
myisp- " huh ?"
me- " never mind just me attempting some humour again "
myisp - " this is a serious issue your using twice the badnwidth we allow "
me- " there must be some mistake im on the "unlimited" plan "
myisp- " no there's a limit of XXX "
me- " really , you should say that instead of unlimited then dont you think ? "
myisp- " i dont think it says that "
me- " i'm pretty sure it does , ME READING FROM BILL AND SPELLING OUT UNLIMITED .. u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d.. yup it says right here on my bill unlimited "
myisp- " that doesnt include bandwidth "
me- " really , what does it include "
myisp " i dont know but it doesnt include bandwidth "
me- " do you have accounts that include bandwidth "
myisp " all our accounts include bandwidth "
me- " isnt that contrary to what you just told me ? "
myisp " ...... "
me- " ok well cut to the chase , i am a busy man "
myisp " if you go over your bandwidth we will have to suspend your account "
me- " that wouldnt be very smart now would it , why would you lose a customer because he shops too much "
mysip" thats just policy sir "
me- " ok well figure it out i'm already on the most expensive package you have so bill me or suspend me , but i dont have time to sit here jabbering with you about it. "
myisp " so do you want us to suspend your account "
me- " do what you have to do , i paid for internet, if i dont get it i will obviously not be paying you.. unless you have some sort of other plan for me "
myisp -" do you want my supervisor to phone you ? "
me- " no , i dont like getting phone calls . "
myisp " how should my superviser get in contact with you ? "
me- " he shouldnt unless he plans on paying me for my time "
myisp " i see , ok well i will unsuspend your account but dont go over the limit again "
me- " merry christmas "
myisp " bzzzzzzzz"
