August 20, 2002 Herald Tines: All the forkin' news!
Man found impaled on telephoto lens, man.
EMT units responded to a call from a neighbor reporting gurgling noises outside in the early morning hours today. There they found an as yet unidentified nude male, fully impaled on the telephoto lens of his camera below an open window.
The neighbor, an admitted transvestite, reported that he/she'd heard the noises but didn't know the man at all and urged workers to "focus dammit, the man needs help!".
EMT workers, upon asking the still alive man what had caused this to happen were barely able to make out his reply of " Go Fuck Yourself ", and following his wishes they then left as today is garbage pick-up day anyways.
Reported one departing EMT worker at the scene
"Speed Kills, but Adrenaline can fuck you up".
farbie