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My first panic attack that I can actually recall being a panic attack (because according to my parents they actually occured at a much younger age as well) was about 4 years ago.
I was sitting in front of my laptop working on a project. I had just given up my 9-5 as a GM for the Taco Bell corporation and all the benefits along with it.
This project was sort of a do or die kind of project. Anyway I noticed i was getting lightheaded and nauseous.
I went to the bathroom and tossed my cookies and next thing I know I could not breathe.
I thought I was dying.
This set of a series of evens where I was in and out of the hospital every other night for about 3 months straight.
I just knew something physical was wrong with me and that the doctors were just failing to diagnose me correctly.
It got to the point where I was actually afraid to go to sleep...this was the "acute" phase.
It got to a point where I was almost afraid to go outside. I planned trips around town so that all routes would take me by a hospital, or at least near one.
I ended up in the hospital due to exhaustion from lack of sleep.
I was put on paxil and that drug was a life saver for me.
However I did not want to spend the rest of my life taking a pill so I did anything and everything I could to control these damn things.
I learned watching various documentaries and reading various reports that there is an actual thing in your brain that is triggered that tells you that you are suffocating.
And when you start to have a panic attack if you really pay attention you will realize you are actually holding your breath...and this is what helps trigger that suffocating feeling.
So slow down...step away from what it is you are doing and take deep slow breaths.
I know for some that all this shit seems crazy...and quite frankly it is. Because it's not real in the sense that you are suffering from any actual physical malady. But it is real...very real in the sense that your body and mind react as though you were.
Your blood pressure, adrenaline etc is all elevated as though you are actually experiencing a near death experience...and for all practical purposes you are.
But I sat down one night while laying in the hospital waiting for some adovan to calm me down to kick in and I just told myself that I was tired of dying...and it was time to start living again.
And that's what I did.
That is not to say I do not have any panic attacks at all.
I have a few small ones daily. They are quite insignificant it's my fear trying to win again.
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