Everyone has their problems.
This is what canada is really about..
Fuck Canada
poetry by Paul Moeller
I moved to America
because
it's where a man walks a mile
not a
kilometre
because
when I watch the Olympics
I don't have to settle for Bronze
because
gasoline is under two dollars a gallon
because
the right color for money
is green
because
when I stand for
The Star Spangled Banner
I don't have to remain standing
to hear it in
French
because
at three o' clock in the morning
it's possible
to get a hamburger and fries
instead of nothing but a chill
because
the further away from Los Angeles you are
the smaller the cars get
until you end up in Prince Edward Island
where frost bitten drunk people drive around on toboggans
because
the guy who wrote the
Declaration of Independence
was a genius
and (I can't even think of a Canadian writer)
because
no matter how tough someone is
you'll always find someone else
who can kick their ass
and they don't have to use hockey sticks
because
everybody knows
who
Jack Nicholson is
and nobody knows who Bruno Gerussi is
because
in Virginia City
you can still get a warm whisky for two bucks
at a bar where Mark Twain used to sit
and in Canada
they don't have bars with history
because
pay phones aren't rotary dial
because
a bald eagle
is
better
than a beaver
and finally
because cops
shouldn't be in riding boots and bright red jackets
and ordered to hide in a forest